Posts by startingover

171

I'm back!!!!

by RichieRich in

jw
friends

hello again from sunny north carolina!!!.

our state lotto started today, and i won 15 dollars, and only bought 1 $1 card.

so whoop whoop for gambling.. i was in miami florida last week for the photoshop world conference, but i also got to tour the everglades, where i took some beautiful pictures.

startingover

justsomedude

Its looking more and more like I may have to DA instead of just fade and if that turns out to be the case... Im going to complete my own S-77 form and hand it in with the letter.

LMAO What a great idea!

61

I'm gonna die

by Jourles in

jw
friends

well, that's what my wife tells me anyway.

i just bought a new bike yesterday.

i have to wait about a week and a half before it comes in, but i think i can manage.. here it is plain from the factory:.

This thing about motorcycles being dangerous...I've ridden on both the street and dirt for almost 40 years. It used to be mainly dirt but now it's probably 50-50. I've been hurt on my dirt bike before, never on the street, but my main thought when hurt is how long it will take to heal so I can ride again. All the people I ride with feel the same way. Now most of my friends ride, so any discussion about injuries is how long before you can ride again. When I used to be around a bunch of people that didn't ride (at the KH) invariably if I hurt myself riding someone would ask me if I was going to stop riding now. That question always pissed me off.

If I got hurt playing basketball with the "brothers", or broke my leg snow skiing or fell off my bicycle, no one would make that comment. But connect a bike to it and it changes somehow. I know bikes are dangerous, but so is life. To me the riding experience much outweighs the dangers.

2

Medical Humor

by startingover in

a man came into the er yelling, "my wife's going to have her baby in the cab!

" i grabbed my stuff and rushed out to the cab, lifted lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear.

that's when i noticed that there were several cabs .

startingover

A man came into the ER yelling, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff and rushed out to the cab, lifted lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. That's when I noticed that there were several cabs . . . and I was in the wrong one! ~ Dr. Mark MacDonald,

~ ~ ~

At the beginning of my shift, I had placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsed the patient.

~ Dr. Richard Byrnes, ~

~ ~ ~

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'

~ Dr. Susan Steinberg, , ~

~ ~ ~

I was performing a complete physical, including the Visual Acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now, your left." Again, a flawless read. "Now, both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked. He was standing with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.

~ Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, ~

~ ~ ~

During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new patch every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patches before applying a new one.

~ Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, ~

~ ~ ~

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered, "Not for about twenty years when my husband was alive."

~ Dr. Steven Swanson, ~

~ ~ ~

I was caring for a woman and asked, "So, how was your breakfast this morning?" She replied, "It was very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste." I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet of KY Jelly.

~ Dr. Leonard Kransdoft, ~

~ ~ ~

A nurse was on duty in the ER, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoo's and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis and she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above it was a tattoo that read 'Keep Off The Grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."

~ Nursing Supervisor ~

~ ~ ~

A new MD doing his residency in was quiet embarrassed performing female exams. To cover his embarrassment, he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged patient suddenly burst out laughing, which further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was 'I Wish I Was An Oscar Meyer Wiener'."

~ The doctor wouldn't admit his name ~

61

I'm gonna die

by Jourles in

jw
friends

well, that's what my wife tells me anyway.

i just bought a new bike yesterday.

i have to wait about a week and a half before it comes in, but i think i can manage.. here it is plain from the factory:.

startingover

I guess we should clarify what "best bike" means. Here's my opinion:

Buying a brand new Road King and having the cam bearings go out at 5000 miles, I don't consider that qualifications for "best bike". Having the rear brake lock up prematurely on the same bike and coming real close to laying it down to avoid a car is not a qualification either. Selling it for more than it cost new, yeah I suppose that qualifies.

Now how about a GL1800 with ABS with an IPod pumping tunes through the sound system into my helmet, IMO those are qualifications! If we're talking XR650R flying across the California desert, that qualifies too.

RIDE RED!

I used to have the "Ride Red" logo on the back window of my truck. You wouldn't believe some of the comments I got, like "are you a communist?" or others that indicated the ride part had some sexual meaning. Guess I should put it back, next to my "Flying Spaghetti Monster" sticker.

56

Inquisition scheduled for tonight

by greater_freedom in

i need some input on how to proceed with a scheduled meeting with elders i haven't seen in 18mo.

i have not attended a meeting in over 2yrs.

they sent a letter requesting my presents at 8:00 pm tonight.

startingover

Have you directly asked them what this was about?

When they came after my friend, he asked them what it was about. They told him it was a charge of apostacy. He asked them who his accuser was. The elder refused to tell him. Even after repeating questioning about it he refused. The elder finally said he would find out at the meeting. That was not acceptable to my friend.

He went to the meeting, stuck his head in the door, handed a slip of paper containing one short sentence to the first elder he met and walked out. He never did find out who did the accusing. He sometimes now wishes he had gone to the meeting just to find out and to throw some questions back at them.

61

I'm gonna die

by Jourles in

jw
friends

well, that's what my wife tells me anyway.

i just bought a new bike yesterday.

i have to wait about a week and a half before it comes in, but i think i can manage.. here it is plain from the factory:.

startingover

Now if you had ended up with anything but the Honda, I probably wouldn't be replying on this thread. You see, my blood flows Honda red. I think you made a wise decision, of course I'm a little biased, I have 12 Hondas in my collection.

I have never been able to understand the HD thing. If I was going to spend that kind of $$$, I would get a Rune.

OK all you Harley lovers, flame on.

33

Why all the fuss about 607 and 1914?

by rockhound in

"so what's the big deal about the date 607 b.c.

being off by 20 years?

" "that was a long time ago, and i can't see where it really matters".

startingover

Rockhound, good one!

Auldsoul,

(5) In 1914, Jesus began a search and measuring of those claiming to be his servants. Apparently, he and his Father were playing a game of Hide and Seek, because he didn't already know the Channel that God was using at the time.

LMAO at that one.

25

Whats your Latitude and Longitude in Google earth?

by mkr32208 in

jw
friends

my house is at; .

it's an old pic but still pretty good!.

anyone else want to play?

startingover

Anyone else use a GPS? Have you ever overlayed a GPS track over the Google Earth images?

I recently rode my dirt bike 1200 miles over 6 days and tracked my course. Coolest thing ever IMO, to be able to zoom in and see where you have been. Here's a shot of it.

1

St. Mary's Church

by startingover in

a drunk staggers into st. mary's church, stumbles to the confessional,.

enters and sits down.

he sits quietly not saying a word.

startingover

A drunk staggers into St. Mary's church, stumbles to the confessional,
enters and sits down. He sits quietly not saying a word. Finally, the priest
coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk doesn't respond.

Finally, the priest pounds three times on the wall of the confessional.

The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin'; there's no paper on this side
either."

4

A Priest, Pentecostal Preacher and Rabbi

by startingover in

a priest, pentecostal preacher and rabbi

a priest, a pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of in .. .

they would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.. .

startingover

A Priest, Pentecostal Preacher and Rabbi

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of in .

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the evening praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.

The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start things out with my bear".