Mulan,
My mom raised six kids in the truth. The truth played a part in the
divorce of her marriage to our father. She is a loyal witness today,
after almost forty years.
All but one of us six siblings are either inactive or df'd for many years.
Still, she was with us when we got together Memorial Day weekend.
We spent good hours together, talking about many things, but not
religion. It's a long story, and I won't go into it now, but once us kids
were in a conversation that bore on our JW experience and Mama's
feelings were hurt. We all let her know that the conversation didn't
involve her, but was our recollections that we had carried for many
years. We've never talked about religion since then.
This past Memorial Day, my mom did approach me about a matter
that she was dealing with in her Hall. It was a matter that ordinarily
would be handled by an elder, or by my brother, who's a 47 year old
self-righteous MS and the only Witness kid in the family. Instead, she
put it before me. I guess she thought she could trust me and that I
would respect her. It made me feel very good because she was right.
I will never be a JW again, but I know how they think, having been
one myself for 30+ years. So, when "counseling" my mother, I did so
from her perspective. I didn't tell her what I wanted to tell her but I
gave her advice that she could use. It was, for her, a situation
that could get serious and I treated the subject that way, even though,
to me, it was all bs. But I'm not a Witness. She is.
My point is, from what I've seen from you, you seem to be a sensitive
person. You also seem to insist on your 'right' to talk about whatever
you want when in your mother's company. It was funny when she
stuck fingers in her ears. Yes, it was childish of her, but I would never,
never, NEVER put my mother in the position of having to do that with
something I was talking about. I would be the first to either shut up or
tell my older siblings to shut up, even in my own home. She's my mother.
An anecdote:
The baby of our family, my sister, is 42. She has discovered that her
18 year old son smokes. She has comes to grips with it, considering
that he could be doing many things that are much worse, but has
informed him that she does not ever want to see him smoking, even
when he has his own home and family. I liked very much what she
said and hope that he honors her in this. She and I are from the old
school that respects our older ones.
What you are doing to your mother in exercising your rights is wrong.
My advice? Print out what Prisca said just above and give it a lot of
thought. One day your mom will be gone and then you and your
brother can talk about whatever the hell you two want to until your
ears fall off.
Just my opinion.
peace,
todd
