...just beyond the superficial glamour of the world was a quagmire of despair, emptiness and pain waiting to suck us in...
...I still far prefer the cold indifference of the world to the stifling meddlesomeness of the bOrg, I've found the Watchtower's evaluation of worldly life to be largely accurate: Life IS meaningless. Most of the young people I know ARE drug addicts. I don't have a relationship with anyone, but those who do don't seem to derive any lasting happiness from them; it's just a lot of passionate sex in the beginning followed swiftly by fighting, cheating and bitterness. Most people I know, in one way or another, are simply hedonists with no goals, ethics or spirituality...
I hate puritanical religions and their schizophrenic fantasies...
I realize these are not the entirety of your posts, but as someone not a part of the JW religion I see this as painting a very bleak picture. I know perception can be a part of a person's "reality".
I know you are sincere in these views. "The World" is not a perfect place. But please, if you are depressed, get help. I have friends. Certainly not many. But for those who have let me see into their lives, I have found none who are "simply hedonists with no goals, ethics or spirituality..."
Some of these are highly religious, some not at all. My friends are people, a mix of good and bad. I don't mean to come off as a know it all. I have been very depressed at times. And I have no understanding of what Jehovah's Witnesses go through.
But you sound very depressed. Please get help if you are. And I have the same concerns for anyone who sees the world as you do. As far as I can tell there is at least one other poster on this thread who may feel this way.
And for lurkers who also see the world like this, I am concerned for you as well.
Mike