Yea, I know about the fake facade put on at the Hall. Many times I had to cover my black eyes with eye shadow and have sisters tell me I wore too much makeup!!! I didnt have the nerve to tell them my aux pioneer mother did it to me. I think my damaged self esteem and soul showed through, more than anything. You would have to be in deep denial to not see how dysfunctional our family was.
terafera
JoinedPosts by terafera
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31
Double Standards
by Perfection Seeker indid anyone else have witness parents who the congregation thought were the "model" family, yet behind closed doors all hell broke loose?
i remember a time when my family was choosen to do a part at an assembly about the ideal family- yet behind the scenes, we were beat, yelled at, sworn at, never studied, had a family from hell, yet others always commented how "perfect" and christian our family was.
being a witness leaves deep & permanent scars.
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17
This wouldn't happen here!
by ISP inwoman branded a hippo by internet date threatens to sue
a woman is threatening legal action after a man she met through an internet dating agency described her as a "hippo".. romanians nicoleta popescu and gabriel malinescu had their first date after two months of on-line flirting and phone calls.. nicoleta now says she's going to sue gabriel for emotional distress.. but he says she purposefully deceived him, claiming she weighs eight stone when he reckons she's much heavier.. gabriel, 33, from bucharest, told the national newspaper: "i expected to see a blonde, blue-eyed, slim beauty in front of me.
but what i got was a gigantic hippo.
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terafera
What did he expect?? They met off the internet, sight unseen!! He handled it pretty badly. She might have turned into a nice friend, if nothing else.
I've never heard of measuring weight in 'stones'. Sounds like something Fred Flinstone would do! LOL
btw, if you intend on meeting someone in person, get pics, alot of them! Ask what kind of lifestyle they enjoy..if they know what a Krispy Kreme is, bad news! Mention the latest article in Fitness magazine, see the response you get!
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??? what would you change ???
by zev inif you had the power, and ability to change one thing in your life, be it a major life changing thing, or a small but significant thing, tell me what and how you would do it, and how it actually was, and how it would be different after the change.
please don't include jw'ism as that's something we would all want to change
if you tell me yours, i'll tell you mine
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terafera
I used to say what Naebs said.... thought anything different wouldnt be my life. But there is one thing I would change..if given the chance.
My mother took my brother and I to Alaska after leaving my dad back in Hawaii. He had been disfellowshipped for alcoholism. She was a controlling, abusive and violent jw woman who beat him down mentally and emotionally. When she took his kids, he disintegrated. My sister (who was grown up and lived 10 miles from him) said he was getting pretty bad. He was now homeless and talking crazy. After 5 years my mother took my brother and I back to Hawaii where we had grown up. I was so nervous about seeing my dad... would he recognize me? It had been 5 years... I was 10 when I left, now I was a 15 year old.. a maturing woman. I didnt see him the whole trip. Two nights before leaving, I was packing my suitcase at my sisters house and heard my brother say 'dad's here! dad's here!'
My face grew hot. Could I handle it?? My daddy!! I wanted to run to him... bury my face in his belly and feel his strong arms wrap around me...the arms of a carpenter skilled in his trade for over 30 years. I hear my sister open the door. 'Oh....its you, dad. Come in....I guess.' she says, looking away. I peek down the hall and view someone that had claimed my dad's body.. this wasnt my dad. Standing there was a shadow of the man I knew. Instead of the stocky Irishman with wild blue eyes I saw a thin man, his face lined with wrinkles, his curly hair matted and the smell coming off of him that could choke you.
'I just came back from directing a movie in Hollywood!' he exclaims to my sister. 'Oh yeah?' she blandly replied. 'Oh yeah, i'm going to get paid alot of money...they really need me!' 'Dad, I dont believe you..' she said, turning away from him. His shoulders slumped as he looked down, not understanding why no-one believed this wonderful story that the effects of alcohol brain-damage had conjured.
'Dad, we're getting ready to leave. I'm sorry...but you should probably get going,' I heard my sister tell him. I kept the door cracked open, just enough to see the outline of him, not enough for him to notice that I was watching.
My little brother, Mike, stood smiling in front of him. 'Dad, this is Michael, remember him?' she said, loudly. My dad looked at him with a blank face. 'Oh sure, yea, how ya doing?' he chuckled, extending his hand to my brother as if meeting him for the first time. I knew he probably didnt know who this little kid was, standing in front of him.
'Well dad, nice see you. You can come back when it's a better time,' my sister said, opening the door. I paused. I wanted to throw open the door, run to him, throw my arms around him, scream out how much I missed him. Have him call me 'Dolly Debba' like he used to. How would I handle it, in front of my family, if he didnt recognize me?? What if he looked at me blankly? Would I crumble, fall apart and cry hysterically?? I didnt know what to do...so I closed the door and sat down. I heard the front door close and my father's footsteps going down the porch stairs. 'Whew! He sure did stink!! How demonic!!' my mother ranted, waving her hands over her face and grabbing a can of Glade.
I sat there, frozen, in shock. I was too embarrassed to see what my father had turned in to. I was to embarrassed to let my family see me hurt...to have them see my dad not know me. I left Hawaii two days later and headed back for Alaska.
A year and half later, the phone rang. It was my sister. She was crying and said my dad's body was found at the beach. It looked like someone beat him up pretty badly, possibly for some money. He was found lying face down in the ocean by a jogger. He had probably been drunk... his body looked really bad.
That's my regret... that I never said goodbye to him. I never ran to him and said I loved him. He had a life full of people rejecting him, from his father and mother, my mother, later the jws when he was disfellowshipped...and now his daughter.
I will regret that till the day I die.
Edited by - terafera on 29 June 2002 3:36:55
Edited by - terafera on 29 June 2002 3:40:48
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14
JWs Locked in Cellar
by Stephanus indoes anyone remember the news report about an old lady who was so fed up with the dubs coming to her door that she locked two of them up in her cellar?
the dubs were missing for some time before the other dubs who'd been in fs with them called the police who eventually found the ones in the cellar.. my question: shouldn't the dubs have gone to the elders instead of bringing the police into it?
that's how they handle other problems...
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terafera
Wow...how the heck did she get them in the cellar??? They must've wanted a study REALLY bad!!!
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10
Something to know about time
by kenpodragon intime moves to quickly when we are older, yet it moves as the same slow speed we felt when we were younger.
so if you want time to slow down, and to enjoy the moment fuller ... learn to think younger and stop getting so much older.. .
dragon
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terafera
Well I should be really happy 'cuz physically I'm 28, but inside I'm about 12.
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NEIL FROM KOLOA
by terafera inhey neil, hope you get this!
i saw your post over at exjw.match and saw you!!
i know you... i am from koloa as well.
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terafera
Beck, LOL! I love Koalas...
btw, you remind me of a lady from Australia that I met while living in Hawaii. She was vacationing with her hubby, on their honeymoon. They were both jws, he was handsome, she was beautiful with a mane of curly wild hair.
We hit it off and went out a few times. She said she was a pioneer or something to that effect. Anyway, she comes back 3 months later without the hubby!! She left him and went on a wild fun spree. We partied, drank, danced...she was a wild one!! We lost touch eventually...I dont know if she ever went back to Australia. I think her name was Stacey. *sigh* That would be cool to see her again too.
I'm hoping one day I'll bump into someone I knew while being a jw, lol.
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My chat with Elder Dad. (I'm angry!!)
by home_and_dry ini feel the need for a rant!
i had a conversation with my jw elder father tonight that has left me seething.
just to set the scene, i left the jws back in 1994. i was baptized, having been dfd and reinstated a couple of years prior to my final exit in 94. i was never dfd again and pretty much left to my own devices.
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terafera
I was quite surprised that anyone butted their nose into your marital status in the first place. That obviously was NOT the point. It's your decision and your partner's, and no one else's.
I agree. I was a little surprised that the issue of marriage was brought up....I feel that the point is being missed. Blacksheep and JT hit it on the mark.
I've been there, played it, bought it, returned it. I know the whole " we thought you'd return to the truth by now...I can see there is no chance of it, thats pathetic."
I can vividly remember a conversation with my older brother, late one night. He and I were very close... we would talk about anything. He had been reinstated after his second disfellowshipping. He was about the only one in my family to have anything to do with me, since I left the meetings. My loving jw mother *sarcasm* kicked me out of her house and I was living with him. We were riding in his truck and I was feeling grateful that I had a loving brother who supported me, regardless of my religious standing. It went something like this:
me: So Sean, lets go by the mall and check....
brother: Deborah, we need to talk. I saw sister Hem***** at the meeting and I told her that you would study with her.
me: what??? I dont want to study!!! I've stopped going to meetings for 2 years! Why would you do that???
brother: I'm trying to help you. You arent going to get anywhere in the world. Start studying, get in service more...
me: no. You dont seem to understand. I dont want to go back. I dont want to study. If I DID want to study..I wouldve asked someone to study with me. You cant just start a study up without asking me...
brother: I dont know why you dont love God. You seem to be a loving person. Maybe I judged you wrong.
~now I'm in shock..... I seemed to be a loving person?? This was my brother, who held me when I was a sick baby, he'd make faces at me until I laughed...my mom said I would cry for him to hold me. My bruddie. Maybe he judged me wrong??? I felt like throwing up.
me: No, Sean. I do love God. Why would you think I dont?? Dont you know me better than that? Cant you see that some people can love God and not be a Witness??
brother: I dont get it. I thought you had the right heart. *sigh* I'm so disappointed in you... I dont want to give up on you, but I dont know what else to do. You've got to think about what is right...
~silence for the rest of the car ride.
Then and there, I knew that the Society was a wall between my siblings and I. I was completely shocked, but informed from that point on, that my family's ideas of me were going to be molded by what the Society told them.
It's a hard pill to swallow...but that's how it will be, as long as your family are jws.
Edited by - terafera on 29 June 2002 2:53:20
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What tree are you?
by gsx1138 ini happened to post this very subject in the wrong forum but here it is now.
i thought this was kinda cool.
it is based off of the druid calender which is basically the gregorian calender.
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terafera
Okay, I dont usually believe this type of stuff....but.... mine is Cedar. I absolutely love cedar!! I buy cedar blocks for my drawers, I have bought bird houses in cedar and even just bought blocks of it from the store so I could smell it. My family says I have an obsession with cedar, LOL. Too funny.. anyway, alot of this seems just like me. It's freaking me out...
My birthday, August 17.
Cedar Tree
The Confidence - Of rare beauty, knows how to adapt, likes luxury, of good health not in the least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, determined, impatient, wants to impress others, many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waiting for the one true love, able to make quick decisions. -
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These Beautiful Love Games
by Robdar inyoung lovers wisely say,.
"let's try it from this angle,.
maybe something marvelous will happen,.
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terafera
I love Maya Angelou... here is one of my absolute faves.
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
A free bird leaps
on the back of the wind
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wings
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.The caged bird sings
with fearful trill
of the things unknown
but longed for still
and is tune is heard
on the distant hillfor the caged bird
sings of freedomThe free bird thinks of another breeze
an the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn
and he names the sky his own.But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to singThe caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.Edited by - terafera on 28 June 2002 22:11:39
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These Beautiful Love Games
by Robdar inyoung lovers wisely say,.
"let's try it from this angle,.
maybe something marvelous will happen,.
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terafera
Woo Robdar, that was beautiful!
I have chills all over...
I love those kinds of poems!