i just left about six months ago and i'm going through the emotional whirlwind that comes with it.
i would really appreciate some advice on how to keep this fade from turning into my being disfellowshipped.
i'm another born in, third generation.
Well, I am considering that she wants to continue a relationship with her family. If that's the premise, running away is not going to help in any way shape or form.
Otherwise, I'd completely agree with the rest of the suggestions. But there's a statement of attempting at maintaining a relationship with current, active for generations JWs.
If that's not longer a priority, then yes, run and keep running.
the reason i ask this is because we heard reports that greenlees was kicked out of bethel because he was one and then we heard reports that another one, jaracz i believe was one all though it sounds kind of iffy to me.. 2 out of i don't how many total gb seems kind of high so i'm thinking that perhaps the percentage is quite higher as this would explain to a degree why the gb have written in clauses to keep the organization from reporting them to authorities.. it is true that part of the reason they remain silent to authorities is because of the reproach it brings to their precious corporation but i think that is only a small part of the reason and perhaps there might be a bigger reason maybe quite a few have been over powered by their darker side and have engaged in this behavior but because of denial and delusion they will not confess and willingly encourage cover ups.. just speculation i know but i'm starting to think that there is a very dark side to all of these guys hidden by their persona(jungian) that is making them stoop so low as to implement these very bad policies..
100%
with the admission of the governing body that they are neither inspired nor infallible , i am curious to know how many of you people from all around the world know of somebody ,a relative or friend , who lost their life because of following the dictates of a religion that now says they are neither inspired nor infallible.,that they now admit they make mistakes.. how many people have needlesly died having followed the jehovahs witness religions policys regarding not getting your child vaccinated against diseases ,which was the case years ago, not having organ transplants as that was considered cannilbalismm years ago ,and since the mid 1940`s the ban on jehovahs witnesses having blood transfusions.. yet somehow today you can have fractions of blood donated by non jw`s who are designated as people to be destroyed at armageddon because they follow satans system of things,.
blood that is donated by these people ,stored in a laboratory , and processed into fractions by laboratory staff and given to jehovahs witnesses with their consent.with no consequences to them for doing so.. blood is not poured out on the ground and not used for any purpose as their bible the nwt dictates.or any other bible for that matter..
I haven't lost any loved ones to their nonsense in the sense that they are all alive. My little sister was very sick when she was born and there was a battle over the blood thing in my family, but turned out that she didn't need it.
how many witnesses are aware that technically, according to watchtower policy, they can if they wish too...associate with dissociated and disfellowshipped relatives.
for all those who are dissociated or disfellowshipped, please share this with your relatives who are currently shunning you.
there is nothing the elders can do as long as they are not discussing spiritual matters.
Like others have mentioned, it looks great on paper but the reality of how they treat people who choose to leave is completely different.
They have to provide means for people to leave to cover their backs legally. That's why they have that policy, no other reason.
i just left about six months ago and i'm going through the emotional whirlwind that comes with it.
i would really appreciate some advice on how to keep this fade from turning into my being disfellowshipped.
i'm another born in, third generation.
This is where I blew it. When an elder came knocking I didn't answer. A few weeks later another. I had been pushed and intimated for so long. I had recognized the evil in the organization before the elder scene. I was so emotionally unstable over the whole thing, I pretty much blasted him, while not saying anything against the organization, I did have that much presence of mind somehow, but told him in no uncertain terms never to come to my house again. Of course, I had not been to meetings for about a month. So, this is where it stands. Local elders and anyone who saw what happened at the KH think I left in a huff about the situation.
That is precisely why I posted what I posted. I'm in no way, shape or form, advocating for you to remain an active JW. But, for what you post, seems like you are taking a number of random actions without planning. So don't expect a good result or a good reaction from people in the congregation if you take actions like that.
The pushy, predatory elders KNOW how they expect you to react, so giving them ammunition that way instead of having a plan to leave is not going to make things end on your favor.
For real, I really, strongly believe that at this point people in the congregation have to feel that you are still an ok JW in good standing while you prepare yourself to leave.
Please consider that option.
well today was the big day.
we finally let the cat out of the bag to the in-laws about watchtower.
previously there were unknown rumors being spread about me and today i found out why the wife and i are being shunned.
So toward the end my father-in-law said that we can keep in touch "as a family." Not sure if any of you might be able to explain that? He also said to email any questions that we have and he can give us answers. I told him thank you but no. He's far too old to destroy his faith like that and I told him that.
I'm sorry to hear about losing your children. My condolences.
I am glad that you remained in charge of your decision in spite of them only having "blinded by Satan" to say to you. That is not simple thing to say.
Although I do not know the entire background story, though, I wonder why the drastic decision of cutting ties in spite of them wanting to leave the door open "as family". I could guess that you don't want to hear their nonsense about seeing your children in paradise on Earth, but I wonder if there's more that makes you not wanting them in your life.
Don't get me wrong, I too walked away from my entire family and I'm very happy that they aren't part of my life, but in my case there's more than the Jehovah crap that made me step away from my family.
I always lean towards advocating for maintaining a family relationship (a healthy one, of course) when/if possible. So my guess is that it may be his way of wanting to keep the door open and maintain some sort of relationship.
In my case, some of my JW family members want me in their lives. I decided not to because they one an unilateral relationship. They expect me not to say anything about me and my life that they don't want to hear, yet they still want me in their lives like that. It is an effort to stay in touch and feel good that they have a relationship with me, but it's not a loving, respectful, not even real relationship.
My guess is that in their own way they are trying to cope with losing you.
a few years ago a jw lost her husband.
she had enough money to build a nice home but she went over budget and the house remains unfinished.
this past year another jw lost his wife... but there is a happy ending!
Praise Jehovah! Just think, in the new system, they will both be the same age.
And praise Viagra!
In a more serious note, I don't see anything wrong with that. I learned from a reliable source of information that having a relationship with a much older person is not necessarily a bad thing, especially since the younger person in this case is 40. We're not taking about a teenager and a middle-age person. They both are grown up, mature adults.
Personally I'd be more concerned about he claiming to be anointed than anything else, mostly because all those "anointed" that I knew were all nut jobs.
i just left about six months ago and i'm going through the emotional whirlwind that comes with it.
i would really appreciate some advice on how to keep this fade from turning into my being disfellowshipped.
i'm another born in, third generation.
Is there anything that I can do or not do that could maybe prevent the worse from happening to yet another family, this time mine? I've already been greatly helped through this all these months by reading this forum. Thank you for listening.
Yes, go back. Seriously, return to attend meetings.
I think the way you are fading is a little too rushed and impulsive. Fading is not just stopping going to meetings. All the things that you posted should have been taken into consideration first, before taking any actions. Fading is a process that requires a lot of decision making and thinking about all the consequences (like straining your relationship with your father) as well as all the things that you will have to deal with and are willing to give up.
As a born in, I understand not having a reliable frame of reference about the world outside. It's fundamental to start getting to know what you are getting into by coming into "the world". If you are a born in, trust me, chances are that you have a rather naive, tunnel vision view of how the world is and works. The process of fading also involves preparing yourself to what you will be facing once out, especially when/if once bad things happen to you. Life brings challenges and those challenges may make you question your decision of leaving.
Furthermore, leaving all your family and all you have known all your life is going to bring you down. Have you prepared to deal with the emotional toll that it may take?
You don't mention anything about your reasons for leaving or what exactly triggered your decision,and it's important for you to look at what are the reasons why you are willing to walk away from everything and everybody that you grew up with.
Fading and leaving is a process; it takes time, planning and preparation, especially if you want to maintain a workable relationship with JWs you love and are still in. I strongly suggest to maintain the hypocritical charade and pretending to care while you build support outside, learn more about what your life will be once leaving, and keep yourself in the life of those you love.
It's not an easy process, so just stopping attending meetings may be a little drastic.
Go back, return to meetings for the time being, is my suggestion.
i don't know if this will be of any use to our cousins from across the pond, but the principal of a uk school or college is generally referred to as simply "the head".. .
I think it was real news if it was a boy's school :-)
perhaps some of you remember a new understanding of the sheep and the goats in the epic march 2015 wt study edition - specifically the article "loyally supporting christ's brothers".. while this article was studied many months ago, it was instrumental in helping me wake up.
during my study of the 2015 article i recalled that we had just revised our understanding of the sheep and the goats a few years ago and this caused me to research the real progression of the jw understanding of this parable.
i put the results of my research in an excel spreadsheet.. .
nmthinker, thank you for sharing. I'm glad you posted the (image of your) spreadsheet. Personally I don't need any of that information for my own personal realization, but it's good to keep certain things current for in case I need to talk to any of my JW family members.
