Posts by scratchme1010

13

Sex & Divorce

by IMHO in

jw
friends

1. you can't have sex until your married.. 2. you're not married until you've gone through a legal ceremony.. 3. you get 'unscriptually' (although legally) divorced therefore not 'free' to remarry'.

4. can you still 'scriptually' have sex with your former spouse?.

scratchme1010

The way I see it, who the eff are they to get into my personal business. What I do with my --- is my effing business.

12

1 Step Forward and 3 Steps Back: Trying to Get My Mom to See 'The Light' (Oh the Irony!)

by Sorry in

recently, my mother's been hounding me to do personal study (i think she's slowly realizing i'm becoming disillusioned with the organization and is trying to reign me back in).

i don't know what made me do this, but i decided to test the waters by challenging 'new light'.

she asked me what i learned in personal study, so i brought up organ transplants and the wt flip floppy stance on them (thanks jwfacts!).

scratchme1010

It's not easy to hold the unpopular opinion. But something that I could suggest if this happens again is to just remove yourself from a situation like that (if it happens again).

First, it's difficult having your entire family ganged up on you for your difference in believes. Trust me I lived that s-it all my life with my effed-up JW family. Not once I saw anything good coming out of a situation like that, and chances are that it's very difficult to deal with it, especially since those are people you live with every day. Handle them all at once like I did at some point, but only when I was in a position of complete independence from them. Some family members just don't drop it, so avoid that situation; it's not going to bear anything positive.

Also, please consider what seems to be the thing people in this forum tend to forget about the most: their feelings. Forget about doctrine, forget about the new light nonsense, forget about them changing their minds and wanting to be right all the time about everything. Think about them all, collectively, as a family, having to admit that you are right, and that the organization they rely on and trust is just top notch BS. Under those circumstances, admitting that you are right, or having some kind of awakening is just not going to happen. It's not productive at all under those circumstances, especially if you pay attention at what they feel, and the emotions that are implied with them all being wrong for so long about so many things, after making so many important life decisions around it. It's not just about what the WT teaches. It's also about how they are told by them how they are supposed to feel about themselves and the world around them. That is the fundamental cause of the cognitive dissonance that you saw happening (your sister jumping in to tell you how that organization is "the true religion" out of something completely unrelated to what you were discussing). Their feelings, not their knowledge, is what causes them to do that.

Second, I think that you yourself are in a place where you need to take care of you, and only you. I think that you should prioritize in what you are learning, but also in what you are feeling. As clear as you see it, and as full of s-it that the WT teachings are, I think that you may need some time yourself to deal with your own relationship with the WT and how your awakening impacts you, your life, and consequently, your relationship with your family.

There are a number of emotional battles ahead if you want to remain a JW (for now) at the same time that you realize all the BS that they try to shove down your throat. That should have priority over trying to make them see the light. In this instance you were shamed, shut down and made feel as if you are doing something wrong, which you are not. And the fact that they were the ones ending the conversation reinforces their feeling right and superior. In their minds they "won". Take care of yourself first.

Third, you do not need to bring the subject up yourself. You can move on and flip the story from "I have to show you how full of --it the WT teachings are", to "I'm moving on and if you want to know why, ask me, but don't bother me with your JW nonsense". The first story sets you of to be victimized by their JW attacks. The second give you the control over your new believes, and to the fact that you really believe what you believe and there's no need to prove it to them. They will react a lot better (for you) to the second story than to the first one. Once they see that you mean business, they may attempt all kinds of passive/aggressive moves, but eventually will see that you mean business and leave you along. Then is when they might become interested in what you have to say.

19

My gay friend went back to JWs?

by schnell in

one of my best friends was disfellowshipped several years ago, and word quickly got around that it was because he's gay.

we lost touch after that because of the disfellowshipping, but since i'm out now, i just found him online and got back in touch with him.

it was a great conversation, but he said he returned to jehovah.

scratchme1010

One of my best friends was disfellowshipped several years ago, and word quickly got around that it was because he's gay. We lost touch after that because of the disfellowshipping, but since I'm out now, I just found him online and got back in touch with him. It was a great conversation, but he said he returned to Jehovah.
I don't understand. I know several gay friends who grew up in the truth, and this makes two who are still believers. I have another friend who married her partner, and is still happily married, still goes to memorials and conventions and some meetings despite the homophobia, and worries about what she'll say to God in the end. I don't get it.
Well, the conversation went great and we're mutually respectful, but he knows I'm inactive. I wish him the best, and I hope he's happy whatever happens.

Not the first. Honestly, as a gay man myself, I don't see his going back in spite of being gay any different than going back for any other reason. There are a number of people who return to get reinstated for a variety of reasons, and to me they all fall in the same category, and ultimately, it's the exact same effect.

In his case he may have issues with his sexuality, but so do many others of other sexual orientations.

It's a very sad pathetic move to go back to the JWs. It's just sad to see that in anyone.

20

Is this a sign then, should I lol?

by Alostpuppydog in

so the elder (who was my teacher) has informed the rest of the congregation and has now revolked my enterance into their or any hall.

and so now they are looking into getting a restraining order and have called new york and that's what they have decided to do.

just because i was made to feel so depressed and hated that i was thinking of suicide.

scratchme1010

hours ago

So the elder (who was my teacher) has informed the rest of the congregation and has now revolked my Enterance into their or any Hall. And so now they are looking into getting a restraining order and have called New York and that's what they have decided to do. Just because I was made to feel so depressed and hated that I was thinking of suicide. And I guess they took it as me making a threat against them? So anyone got any advice on this? By the way I thank you for this communities' advice on the last thing I posted. So now this is my third post!

Take care of yourself, take your meds, get counseling, leave the JWs alone while you take care of yourself. As angry as you may feel, and as unfair as it may sound, maybe the message is that you may need to concentrate in your treatment and getting help.

You may not be a threat to them, but you may just want to make sure that you take care of things like suicidal thoughts. The people in the congregation have no training or maybe not even knowledge on how to help you. Get the help you need first, then try again after.

2

Nothing like politics or religion to bring out "the best" in us huh

by Sanchy in

i've never seen so many friends and even family members tearing each other up as i've seen happen during this election.

i've literally seen a ton of posts in fb today of ppl asking to be unfriended by any who voted for a particular candidate.

what america looks like today: .

scratchme1010

I'd so loooooooooove to throw a few punches to one or two of my idiot family members! I will definitely get something out of my system.

193

Great Tribulation and Trump

by TakeOffTheCrown in

please, let's discuss this subject without attacking one another.. it appears that trump has won a victory that no one expected.

is it possible that trump may play a part in the great tribulation?.

there are some who believe trump is one of the most unqualified of men to ever be elected president of the united states.

scratchme1010

Please, let's discuss this subject without attacking one another.

I'll try, I promise.

It appears that Trump has won a victory that no one expected. Is it possible that Trump may play a part in the Great Tribulation?

In the sense that what/who he is, yes. He himself is a tribulation. However, in the sense (or nonsense) that the JWs preach, absolutely not since there isn't such thing as the great tribulation. That is just JW nonsense. BTW, that is not an attack against the WT. It's just a fact. There isn't such thing as the great tribulation. That's a fallacy.

There are some who believe Trump is one of the most unqualified of men to ever be elected president of the United States. Trump seems to be surprised by his victory. It is as if someone has pushed Trump forward.
What do you think?

I completely disagree. I'd rather say "There are MANY, MANY, MANY, did I say MANY? who believe that walking vulgarity is the most (not one of the most, the most) unqualified of men to ever be elected president of the United States.

What pushed him forward was the fact that the majority of Americans either don't care about consequences or don't know better. If for some reason you're thinking about Satan, rest assured, nope, there isn't such thing as Satan either.

5

How to accept and move on from JW's?

by Alostpuppydog in

just like the title says, how does ones self start the transition out of the jw's belief system, since i will never be allowed to go to a kingdom hall and believe a lot of what they teach.. i guess more importantly how have you guys here moved on that have had some exposure to the jw's?.

any advice is more than welcomed and i thank those that have thus far replied to me!!

!.

scratchme1010

Just like the title says, how does ones self start the transition out of the JW's belief system, since I will never be allowed to go to a Kingdom Hall and believe a lot of what they teach.
I guess more importantly how have you guys here moved on that have had some exposure to the JW's?
Any advice is more than welcomed and I thank those that have thus far replied to me!!!

Something that I notice here is that when it comes to leaving, transitioning out and maintaining a relationship with loved ones, there are lots and lots of discussions and suggestions regarding doctrine and believes, but very few addressing important considerations other than just looking for what to believe.

They have to do with what/how you feel. What made you decide to leave? What is your story? Did you join or were you born in that organization?

I found more important to deal with my feelings around the departure from the JWs that learning or even caring about what religious or spiritual path I was going to take after leaving. I knew nothing else, but I knew that what I grew up in was not who I am, nor what i care for.

Then there were anger, resentments, fears, confusion, but also hope and a degree of excitement. Realizing what I felt helped me properly deal with what I was taught for all my life up to that point, and decide for myself what and how much of that was useful to my new life.

Without dealing with how I felt, I could have never develop self love, a sense of self, a sense of true spirituality and the necessary confidence to deal with the family members who rejected me after. My spiritual path and my current believes came from the inside out, in time, and not from some message from anyone, nor from a bible, nor from some organization trying to impose ridiculous rules on me. But I needed to deal with how I felt first.

I strongly suggest you to start dealing with your feelings around the entire process, all the feelings, including those that the JWs try to convince you that you should not have or are "wrong". You are a human being with capabilities to trust yourself, your instinct and your good judgement. That confidence, which the JWs attack under the vice of "independent way of thinking", is key to help you move on with confidence.

Furthermore, your JW family members will see and notice, and some will respect that sense of confidence in how you feel about things, regardless of not having a specific belief or doctrine to fall on.

I hope this helps.

I guess also, does anyone have any advice for building my relationship with my father who is an unbaptized publisher and is 'currently praying to Jehovah' and I am sure talking with the witnesses as to whether or not he is going to kick me out?

Be respectful, a good example of a good, rational, well balanced person. Be loving, caring and responsible as a daughter. That gives you credibility when/if there are inquiries or discussions about your standing with being/not being a JW. You can show that you are nothing like what the JWs claim that people become when they leave.

6

the privilege of associating with fellow Christians in worship is not open to everyone?

by NikL in

was going through the book that is currently being studied at midweek meetings.. paragraph 18 of chapter 11 reads.... a second area of moral refinement involves themeasures taken to keep the congregation clean.

sad-ly, not all who accept jehovah’s standards of conductand dedicate themselves to god loyally stick withtheir decision.

some eventually have a change ofheart and willfully rebel against those standards.what is to be done about such ones?

scratchme1010

What a privilege! Being isolated from the rest of the normal world. How compelling.

16

I want to be a JW but they seem to hate me? Help!

by Alostpuppydog in

just going to give a little background about myself and then bring anyone who is reading this up to speed with where i am today:.

growing up in a family that was not aware of jehovah's witnesses at all, as none of my family members have had a run-in with them other than my parents, my entire life has been a mess ever since we met them.

the witnesses first came to my door when i was 12 and my dad started bringing me to meetings and we even lived with a witness family for a month when we were both homeless due to my parent's divorce.

scratchme1010

I'm so sorry that you're going through such rough times. Glad to hear that you are in a hospital and receiving treatment.

Unfortunately, I cannot support you remaining a JW. As a person who has suffered depression myself, I know that the JWs create more depression . So no, I cannot support remaining a JW.

You yourself posted that you are isolated in your congregation. That may not change at all. The WT organization's cure for every mental health issue is service to them, and if that doesn't work, like with you and the elder pressuring you, all they want you is to confess to something.

They are not prepared nor interested in helping people with mental health problems.

I know that this may not be what you like hearing, but I know that they are causing harm to you by their actions, which you yourself already stated they are doing to you.

What I can strongly suggest is to remain in therapy, take your medications, go to counseling and please maintain an open mind about finding a more loving community that doesn't force you to talk about things you want to keep private and doesn't isolate you.

18

Is there a biblical basis for separation or divorce?

by Conias in

jw
friends

is there a biblical basis for separation or divorce?.

in the event that one of the spouses is being psychologically mistreated in a very serious manner where his health is severely damaged and even his own life is in danger.

is there a biblical basis for jehovah's witnesses for separation or divorce?.

scratchme1010

No, but you can tell the Jehovah's Witnesses to go fawk themselves and divorce.

Seriously, if having that organization madating a person to put up with psychological mistreatment and his/her own life in danger, you have to consider who matters more, their stupid Jehovah or the battered spouse?