Tina

Joined

• started 31 topics
• posted 1,830 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by Tina

• 
  9

  "Forgiving Others May Do a Body Good"

  by Jang in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  your benefit, not the offenders'.

  tihs article shows why.. jan. .

  http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_627.html entitled.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Tina

  Hi Jan,
  Exactly!! That's why terminating association/communication (after resolving the anger) can be important in forgiveness. Like you said,it's a big world out there, those who forget the past are doommed to repeat it. No one needs toxic abusers in their lives.
  So forgiveness isn't about forgetting,just neutralizing the angry emotions that went with the event. And moving on.
  The abuser sees that is the consequence of their action.
  And that's why I think empathy does more harm then good as it promotes an emotional connection that is definitely not to the victims good. Thanks for the input,hugs,Tina
• 
  15

  Swift to forget.....

  by eyes_opened in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  "he who is swift to believe is swift to forget.

  " - rabbi abraham joshua heschel, polish-born scholar (1907-1972).

  guess this holds true to the history of jehovahs witnesses and their failed prohesies and the willingness of so many to forget about it.. .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Tina

  Hiyas Tr
  Lol very good! funny too lol.

  Hey aren't you sposed to be practicing death metal for our apostate convention? lol,cheers,Tina
• 
  9

  "Forgiving Others May Do a Body Good"

  by Jang in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  your benefit, not the offenders'.

  tihs article shows why.. jan. .

  http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_627.html entitled.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Tina

  Interesting view of forgiveness. Psychology has diverse stances on this issue.
  The above article is not the only way or option.
  In fact I take issue with this aspect,'forgiveness issue prompted participants to EMPATHIZE with the offender...."
  No,that's not right and doesn't truly benefit the victims.
  Forgivness means coming to terms with our rage and anger-relieving ourselves of the burden of carrying it around.

  But empathizing with the abuser is NOT a part of this.

  Forgiveness is a gift we give OURSELVES(not the abuser).
  We forgive by putting our healing and wellness first! And many times this includes terminating associations or relationships with abusers.
  We forgive by letting go of our connection with them-to suffer the consequences of their own behaviors and crimes.

  Forgiveness is the gift of freedom we gives OURSELVES to start mending to find our own worth and esteem,pursuing positive growth and change.
  Forgiveness is all about taking care of ourselves and in no way condones,ignores,excuses or empathizes with what anyone has perpetrated on us.
  I'm not knocking having the quality of empathy here. It's just that in many cases of abuse,the victim has an over-developed sense of it.
  It contributed by causing re-victimization in many cases.
  Keeping empathy at a healthy boundary level is empowering and is not always needed in the recovery and forgiveness process.
  Just MHO,FWIW,Tina
• 
  28

  Bad memories

  by JW72 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi everyone, i don't wanna dwell on bad memories, but i just wanna share one of my worst memories from school.. my brother was in the year above me, we had just finished lunch, everyone knew that we were jw's (not going to assemblies, nativity plays,birthday parties, seen in the field service....) we both walked onto the school field together to the whole school already on the field, stood in a line, clapping and shouting "jehovahs witness!!

  " at us, it was absolutely dreadful.. kids can be cruel............ anyone else wanna divulge??.

  love .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Tina

  Greetings all,
  Hiyas Capt :>
  I well remember the post in question. And since this has been brought up,I have to admit,my skeptical alarm also went off when I read it. I didn't challenge it at that time because it sounded wayyy too much like an extremely melodramatic, elaborate urban legend kinda story. I still think that. Way too much detail for supposedly secret covered up stuff.
  Just throwing in my 2 cents,hugs,T
• 
  26

  The Apostle AK is signing off...for now.

  by TheApostleAK in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm not renewing my internet account as of this weekend cos i found a fulltime job.

  so i guess it will be goodbye for a long while.. from alan (aka the apostle ak)

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Tina

  Dear AK,
  Wishing you the best ! Take care now,hugs,Tina
• 
  23

  Like a moth to a flame

  by Esmeralda in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi everyone.... what is it about this place?

  what is it that keeps drawing me back when i have.

  all these plans to try to just leave the jw issues alone, behind me and think.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Tina

  (((((((((essie)))))))))))))
  You seem to echo my thoughts quite often lil sis lol.
  Originally I came here for information to settle nagging questions regarding life and the wts.
  I also wondered if I wasn't going crazy at times,trying to make sense of the senseless.

  To my grateful surprise,I found others struggling along that same road..........and that made all the difference in the world to me.

  On h20 I met you and so many others that I can't begin to thank!
  I received encouragement,validation(that I wasn't goin nutz lol).
  And what a group I've traveled with! You,Md,Farkel,Kent,Jan,wasasis,sunchild,antique,AF Julie Ginny Ded,comf Norm,The irrepressible Uncle bruce lol,,,,,,,,And so many more (put your name here please)

  I was supported when falling down,forgiven attitudes and errors,poked and prodded to use my mind when I didn't want to lol,found honest interaction,not always pretty,but still beneficial to learning and growing and accepted and loved just for myself(what a concept coming out of watchtowerworld!).........what a bond that creates!
  Laughing together ,crying together,and ultimately learning to love together.
  Then,,,,,,,the road curved and I saw a sign that said 'Simons Place' straight ahead :>
  Thank you Simon for putting that candle in the window,it sure drew many moths didn't it? lol
  And there, making sure the candle didn't go out,was 'waiting',sweet 7/9,mommy,gopher,java simon anghard,larc,zazu Prisca,plh (put your name here)
  I lurked here forever,quietly trailing behind waiting ,and all the others .....gleaning in their field of experiences,wisdom,insight,etc. just as I did on h20.
  (so if you ever felt like you were being followed,that was just me,in baggy overalls and straw hat behind yas)
  I appreciate and admire the grace they've shown in accepting us!
  I'm glad they didn't get out the insect spray when they saw this horde of new moths descending on them lol.

  I grew to love so very many,the connection is real. They will travel with me in my heart forever,such is the impact made on me. I don't want to leave you or them :>
  So as long as I'm able ,you folks are stuck with me,lol.
  I am not a prolific writer ,quite laconic actually,so I hope I was able to convey my feelings and just how important each and evryone of you are to me,
  With gratitude and love,Tina
• 
  15

  Swift to forget.....

  by eyes_opened in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  "he who is swift to believe is swift to forget.

  " - rabbi abraham joshua heschel, polish-born scholar (1907-1972).

  guess this holds true to the history of jehovahs witnesses and their failed prohesies and the willingness of so many to forget about it.. .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Tina

  lol funny thread here......
  Here ya go Ven!
  A variation on my Freddy Franz rap(got fredhall) lol

  Give this some rhythm ,like yer rappin now.....heheh
  
  "I'm fab Freddy Hall
  And I'm here to say,
  I read a new
  watchtower
  ev-er-y day
  I don't take blood,
  I play with puppets
  Gonna jump on my train
  And hit some muppets('postate ass,dontchya know?)
  Yeah! Kick It!!

  Ps, Tr-you're too good there lol,loved it!! Tina Kickin it Class
• 
  28

  Bad memories

  by JW72 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi everyone, i don't wanna dwell on bad memories, but i just wanna share one of my worst memories from school.. my brother was in the year above me, we had just finished lunch, everyone knew that we were jw's (not going to assemblies, nativity plays,birthday parties, seen in the field service....) we both walked onto the school field together to the whole school already on the field, stood in a line, clapping and shouting "jehovahs witness!!

  " at us, it was absolutely dreadful.. kids can be cruel............ anyone else wanna divulge??.

  love .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Tina

  Greetings All!

  Ginny,I can certainly relate to your experience!
  I too,used wts lit. in school.....I particularly remember giving a report on why we didn't salute the flag.(and other issues)
  Not saluting the flag,not participating in holiday school projects,etc. did not 'win over' any class-mates.(or make any friends,let alone not being asked to join group activities)
  In fact they thought I was weird,and they gave me and any other jw kids wide berth.
  This led to increased isolation and alienation in school. School is tough enough as it is,let alone adding jw behaviors into the equation.

  Following wts dictum consistently puts a child outside normal group experiences and social interactions. It's no wonder so many JW kids grow up lacking many social/interpersonal communication skills. Not to mention the detrimental emotional and psychological aspects of 'school life'.
  
  It's not a happy life for many JW kids in school. At least from my personal and the experiences of other JW kids I knew.
  Just a thought here,regards,tina
• 
  12

  Getting married....any advise?

  by Uni girl in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i'm getting married in a few weeks to the man that was disfellowshipped with me for 'committing adultery in our hearts".

  we have been together for 5 years and have a wonderful and warm relationship, no fear or guilt.

  the only blimp on the horizon is his family, some of whom are maniacs when it comes to the letter of the law.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Tina

  Hi Uni!
  Wishing you the best on your special day!!! hugs,Tina
• 
  5

  return of the prodigal

  by Mommie Dark in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this morning my oldest son returned home after a month in the county pay-to-stay misdemeanor jail.

  he got drunk and shoplifted a beer (and the little nit had money in his pocket when he did it!).

  someone in the prosecutor's office decided to give him a break, and instead of a stint in the county pokey he got to go to the 'offender's country club', and, most importantly, he decided to try the alcohol rehab classes they offered.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Tina

  ((((((((((((((((MD))))))))))))
  Hang in there hun!!
  Sending smiles and good vibes your way!,luv,T