InquiryMan

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Posts by InquiryMan

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  9

  My story - update

  by InquiryMan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this past week have had some up and downs, but mostly at normal level.

  i had my 2nd discussion with the first gay man i ever met at the gay health centre.

  he was really touched with my story, and when we departed he gave me a warm hug.

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  InquiryMan

  I am longing for that first kiss :-ooo. But I am not dreaming of any freakin’ frog.
• 
  9

  My story - update

  by InquiryMan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this past week have had some up and downs, but mostly at normal level.

  i had my 2nd discussion with the first gay man i ever met at the gay health centre.

  he was really touched with my story, and when we departed he gave me a warm hug.

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  InquiryMan

  This past week have had some up and downs, but mostly at normal level. I had my 2nd discussion with the first gay man I ever met at the Gay Health Centre. He was really touched with my story, and when we departed he gave me a warm hug. It was like I never would stop hugging him. After all, the past 6 years, the only hugs I’ve got has been from my children. But this was a different kind of hug. It was some sort of agape - although unconditional in its form. I also felt it was quite different than a farewell hug as I’ve done before in a way of showing politeness. I sung all the way back to work. (Good morning, Starshine). (Yes, I do like musicals, Il divo (they look smashing too) and Eurovisiong song Contest :-). In the evening it was another group session and it went along fine. On the way back, three were talking (obviously they do know one another a bit from before) and I went along cause it was on my way back to the parking house. I felt they ignored me, but I guess I am overly sensitive. So I felt very depressed when driving home. My wife, even stated I looked depressed. She did encourage me to go on. Of course, I have to realize that there might be setbacks. Having told a few persons, at the same time makes me somewhat more vulnerable. But that is fine. I have to take things step by step. I appreciate even the very small input people may give. I would appreaciate that those who pm`ed me, answers my replies if possible cause it is so important to me. Have a nice weekend all of you!
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  42

  My life - a new turn

  by InquiryMan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  ive been on the net ever since the miningco, old witnesses.net days and now here on jwd.

  it has been an interesting journey.

  yesterday my life took a new turn.

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  InquiryMan

  I just re-read my story. It has been a long journey ---
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  42

  My life - a new turn

  by InquiryMan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  ive been on the net ever since the miningco, old witnesses.net days and now here on jwd.

  it has been an interesting journey.

  yesterday my life took a new turn.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  InquiryMan

  Small update: Today we attended the compulsory mediation meeting for those wanting to file for a separation (after a year one is free to divorce). The mediator was a chief psychologist. Nice person. We had a very good atmosphere during the whole meeting. After some time, both the issues of JWism and my gay-orientation came up. I was able to discuss in a calm, open and even somewhat humerous manner. My wife was gracious as ever. On a direct question from him if she was bitter, she denied any bitterness. The only thing she did regret, was that this has not happened a couple of years earlier. But at that time, I was neither emotionally nor mentally able to handle those issues in the way I do now. I went to my psychologist on a regular basis, and was also on medication and also had suicidal thoughts, although I never tried a serious attempt. After all, I do have my children to live for! And also the way we’re going to arrange things practically is much more in line with our needs now than at the time. We signed the papers, I did it with a lump in my throat, cause I do regret that it ended this way, but it could not have ended any other way. He also stated that he thought I had guts, being able to make two life changing decisions in the past 3-4 yrs (leaving the JWs, and now, slowly leaving the closet). The challenge is now how to tell it in a good way to the children and convey the news to my JW family. But I do feel fine. AS a witness I never felt the "peace of God that excels all thought" (I haven´t looked up a bible passage in three yrs, but I did remember Philipians 4:7, so I guess my acquaring some "epi-gnosis" have not been in total vain. I’d appreaciate it if those I´ve pm´ed replies when they have time for it. And some new ones too. It is heart warming (JW language) when the inbox has a number higher than 0). Tomorrow, I´ll attend my 2nd group meeting in the support group... I am looking forward to that.
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  42

  My life - a new turn

  by InquiryMan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  ive been on the net ever since the miningco, old witnesses.net days and now here on jwd.

  it has been an interesting journey.

  yesterday my life took a new turn.

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  InquiryMan

  I am sure it will. I wanted to say: I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST!!! (sometimes my typos haunt me)
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  42

  My life - a new turn

  by InquiryMan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  ive been on the net ever since the miningco, old witnesses.net days and now here on jwd.

  it has been an interesting journey.

  yesterday my life took a new turn.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  InquiryMan

  Thanks a lot to all the women responding.You’ve a warm and caring heart. Kudos to all of you and I best you all the best!
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  42

  My life - a new turn

  by InquiryMan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  ive been on the net ever since the miningco, old witnesses.net days and now here on jwd.

  it has been an interesting journey.

  yesterday my life took a new turn.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  InquiryMan

  I do not necessarily think my life will be any happier - although I hope so - but much easier, having at last found inner peace. I am overwhelmed that more than 400 people have read my story :-)
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  18

  Grandpa turned in to police by JW elders

  by InquiryMan in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  in norway, a 71 year old grandpa has been sentenced to 11 months jail and a fee og several thousands dollars for having molested his 8 and 10 year old grand-daughters.

  he wanted to have his sentence reduced because of having been disfellowshipped from the jws.

  the court did not find that to be a reason to reduce his sentence.

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  InquiryMan

  When I stated that the silent lambs might have had some sort of influence, this is of course just indirectly. Just after I stepped down from being an elder, new directions were given to the elders, emphasizing the need to report such matters to the police. This was before any TV programmes had been show on television. However, several news reports have been published throught the years where Jws have been involved in abuse of children. However, in later years, Society spokeman has emphasized the need to report to the police and co-operate, whereas in the past it was often reported in the news that such cases had been kept silent within the congregation. Personally, I was never informed of any such cases when being an elder. Fortunately. What I do know, is that when such cases where discussed among witnesses, most stated they would report it to the police right away.
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  18

  Grandpa turned in to police by JW elders

  by InquiryMan in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  in norway, a 71 year old grandpa has been sentenced to 11 months jail and a fee og several thousands dollars for having molested his 8 and 10 year old grand-daughters.

  he wanted to have his sentence reduced because of having been disfellowshipped from the jws.

  the court did not find that to be a reason to reduce his sentence.

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  InquiryMan

  Sorry about some typos, I should have proof-read it better. I did write it with paragraphs and captions in word, but when I insert it int reply it disappears... and I forgot to re-edit it...
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  18

  Grandpa turned in to police by JW elders

  by InquiryMan in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  in norway, a 71 year old grandpa has been sentenced to 11 months jail and a fee og several thousands dollars for having molested his 8 and 10 year old grand-daughters.

  he wanted to have his sentence reduced because of having been disfellowshipped from the jws.

  the court did not find that to be a reason to reduce his sentence.

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• 

  InquiryMan

  the abovemention article was published in the most widespread newspaper of Norway today. On the question of a newspaper link, I’ve just translated an article that was published on a court case last year, in the "Aftenposten" newspaper, (a newspaper like New York Times). Family Christmas of Last Year on the Canary Islands: 41 year old woman in bed with 15 year old step PER ANNAR HOLM Even though the two have continued their sexual relationship after the stepmother got separated from the boys father last spring, the women herself turned herselv into the police.. Now she has been convicted for the sexual relations with her underage stepchild. He did not want the woman to be charged and punished. Shunned The Court found that the woman being shunned by her Jehovah’s witness congregation after the case became known, was an extenuating circumstance. The woman told in court that her marriage deteriorated just after a few months and she never reached to attain a real mother-son-relationship the the plaintiff. After the separation the now 42 year old woman resumed the relationship to the boy after a mutual wish (my comment: it was now legal, since he had become 16 years and no longer under age). It has not been disclosed that the boy affair has had any detrimental effects by the affair.. Voluntary action Even though the woman admitted to be the most active party the night following 26. December by going to the boys bed, they had previously touched one another on several occasions. The court do not label the encroachment abusive, since plaintiff voluntarily took part in the sexual relations. However, the judge writes in her judgement: This do not hid the fact that the relationship has an abusive element when the age factor is taken into consideration (her being 40 yrs old, the boy being 15) and in addition she did have a parental role towards the boy. Very peculiar case Thus court case is peculiar indeed, and the court has not found any cases similar to it. The court remarks that the court case most probably had not been a legal case unless the accused herself had brought the matter to the police. Den unemployed mother of one child was mainly concerned to get a suspended sentence og achieved this by confessing and relating everything openl to the court. She got a five month suspended imprisonment (she did not have go to jail, but of course get this on her record). She had to pay the fine of en equivalent of 1500 dollars. She immediately accepted the verdict..