InquiryMan

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Posts by InquiryMan

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  36

  Kingdom Halls and the no windows thing...

  by ObservingTexan in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  very first post.

  go easy on me!.

  my question though is this.

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  InquiryMan

  Maybe this is also an American JW phenomenon. I’ve attended quite a few halls in Europe as well, and ALL had windows.
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  42

  My life - a new turn

  by InquiryMan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  ive been on the net ever since the miningco, old witnesses.net days and now here on jwd.

  it has been an interesting journey.

  yesterday my life took a new turn.

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  InquiryMan

  In case anyone would like to drop a few lines, feel free to mail me at: [email protected]
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  9

  My story - update

  by InquiryMan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this past week have had some up and downs, but mostly at normal level.

  i had my 2nd discussion with the first gay man i ever met at the gay health centre.

  he was really touched with my story, and when we departed he gave me a warm hug.

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  InquiryMan

  In case anyone would like to drop a few lines, feel free to mail me at: [email protected]
• 
  9

  My story - update

  by InquiryMan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this past week have had some up and downs, but mostly at normal level.

  i had my 2nd discussion with the first gay man i ever met at the gay health centre.

  he was really touched with my story, and when we departed he gave me a warm hug.

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  InquiryMan

  Yes, and I did reply promptly. Perhaps that is the reason why I do not get so many pm’s replies. I do write them, but the receiver does not get them? I am Scandinavian. Please write me again, I valued your pm, please feel to tell me your story too.
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  9

  My story - update

  by InquiryMan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this past week have had some up and downs, but mostly at normal level.

  i had my 2nd discussion with the first gay man i ever met at the gay health centre.

  he was really touched with my story, and when we departed he gave me a warm hug.

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  InquiryMan

  a narrow label in a naw. SUPPOSED to be: a narrow label in a way.
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  9

  My story - update

  by InquiryMan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this past week have had some up and downs, but mostly at normal level.

  i had my 2nd discussion with the first gay man i ever met at the gay health centre.

  he was really touched with my story, and when we departed he gave me a warm hug.

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  InquiryMan

  It is true. But as I wrote, there is so much happening at the same time - me selling our house, my family’s future/structure is changing, I am attending the support group/getting out of the closet, living with my wife, struggling with various emotions, having lots of work to do (always been an escape to me, I am handling that part nicely) and being a very emotional personality at the same time. There is a obviously a lot of emotional strain, but I have the asset I think, that I have self-irony, great sense of humor, (my "gay" mentor even stated I had charisma), and I am able to speak openly about difficult matters - something I never did before. I always kept sort of a distance to people. What I need now is to be selective, not taking everything personally (after all the world does not revolve around me), not being naive. During my time as a witness, I belonged to a disliked minority, and people had that label on me. The past 3-4 years, I have just been viewed as a "normal" person. Suddenly I am on the verge of entering the "minority" status again. I think I´ll have to make use of that past as a positive factor, e.g. what I did when I was treated in a cold way at the doors? I never took that personally did I. It was because people saw me just a JW, a narrow label in a naw. It is the same now, if people may view me differently, just because a new aspect of me is made known t them, so be it. But I guess for me the challenge is to be able to discern that although I meet fellow gays, so to speak, we´re just as different, although having one common denominator. There are so many different types of people there as well. Gradually, I guess I´ll be able to find my preferences (I am not talking about sexual matters) etc. But on the other hand, having grown up as a witness, I was never on the hetero "wordly" dating scene either. We met at a congregational book study for the first time, where I was the substitute book study conductor, coming rushing in the other, half a minute to late... Hanging out on bars/pubs has never been part of my life. I do not mind going out though, but I have to learn the social codes so to speak. There is much ahead, and I am looking forward to embrace life with all its aspects, but I have to adapt that to my personality, and also align that the responsinbility I have towards my children. But I do feel whole and still have peace of mind and heart...
• 
  9

  My story - update

  by InquiryMan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this past week have had some up and downs, but mostly at normal level.

  i had my 2nd discussion with the first gay man i ever met at the gay health centre.

  he was really touched with my story, and when we departed he gave me a warm hug.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  InquiryMan

  I am longing for that first kiss :-ooo. But I am not dreaming of any freakin’ frog.
• 
  9

  My story - update

  by InquiryMan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this past week have had some up and downs, but mostly at normal level.

  i had my 2nd discussion with the first gay man i ever met at the gay health centre.

  he was really touched with my story, and when we departed he gave me a warm hug.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  InquiryMan

  This past week have had some up and downs, but mostly at normal level. I had my 2nd discussion with the first gay man I ever met at the Gay Health Centre. He was really touched with my story, and when we departed he gave me a warm hug. It was like I never would stop hugging him. After all, the past 6 years, the only hugs I’ve got has been from my children. But this was a different kind of hug. It was some sort of agape - although unconditional in its form. I also felt it was quite different than a farewell hug as I’ve done before in a way of showing politeness. I sung all the way back to work. (Good morning, Starshine). (Yes, I do like musicals, Il divo (they look smashing too) and Eurovisiong song Contest :-). In the evening it was another group session and it went along fine. On the way back, three were talking (obviously they do know one another a bit from before) and I went along cause it was on my way back to the parking house. I felt they ignored me, but I guess I am overly sensitive. So I felt very depressed when driving home. My wife, even stated I looked depressed. She did encourage me to go on. Of course, I have to realize that there might be setbacks. Having told a few persons, at the same time makes me somewhat more vulnerable. But that is fine. I have to take things step by step. I appreciate even the very small input people may give. I would appreaciate that those who pm`ed me, answers my replies if possible cause it is so important to me. Have a nice weekend all of you!
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  42

  My life - a new turn

  by InquiryMan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  ive been on the net ever since the miningco, old witnesses.net days and now here on jwd.

  it has been an interesting journey.

  yesterday my life took a new turn.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  InquiryMan

  I just re-read my story. It has been a long journey ---
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  42

  My life - a new turn

  by InquiryMan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  ive been on the net ever since the miningco, old witnesses.net days and now here on jwd.

  it has been an interesting journey.

  yesterday my life took a new turn.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  InquiryMan

  Small update: Today we attended the compulsory mediation meeting for those wanting to file for a separation (after a year one is free to divorce). The mediator was a chief psychologist. Nice person. We had a very good atmosphere during the whole meeting. After some time, both the issues of JWism and my gay-orientation came up. I was able to discuss in a calm, open and even somewhat humerous manner. My wife was gracious as ever. On a direct question from him if she was bitter, she denied any bitterness. The only thing she did regret, was that this has not happened a couple of years earlier. But at that time, I was neither emotionally nor mentally able to handle those issues in the way I do now. I went to my psychologist on a regular basis, and was also on medication and also had suicidal thoughts, although I never tried a serious attempt. After all, I do have my children to live for! And also the way we’re going to arrange things practically is much more in line with our needs now than at the time. We signed the papers, I did it with a lump in my throat, cause I do regret that it ended this way, but it could not have ended any other way. He also stated that he thought I had guts, being able to make two life changing decisions in the past 3-4 yrs (leaving the JWs, and now, slowly leaving the closet). The challenge is now how to tell it in a good way to the children and convey the news to my JW family. But I do feel fine. AS a witness I never felt the "peace of God that excels all thought" (I haven´t looked up a bible passage in three yrs, but I did remember Philipians 4:7, so I guess my acquaring some "epi-gnosis" have not been in total vain. I’d appreaciate it if those I´ve pm´ed replies when they have time for it. And some new ones too. It is heart warming (JW language) when the inbox has a number higher than 0). Tomorrow, I´ll attend my 2nd group meeting in the support group... I am looking forward to that.