He stated that he had been punished enough being deprived of his congregation benefits and friends. In fact, there has been instances, when a DF has been a factor in a person getting a reduced sentence.
InquiryMan
JoinedPosts by InquiryMan
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18
Grandpa turned in to police by JW elders
by InquiryMan inin norway, a 71 year old grandpa has been sentenced to 11 months jail and a fee og several thousands dollars for having molested his 8 and 10 year old grand-daughters.
he wanted to have his sentence reduced because of having been disfellowshipped from the jws.
the court did not find that to be a reason to reduce his sentence.
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18
Grandpa turned in to police by JW elders
by InquiryMan inin norway, a 71 year old grandpa has been sentenced to 11 months jail and a fee og several thousands dollars for having molested his 8 and 10 year old grand-daughters.
he wanted to have his sentence reduced because of having been disfellowshipped from the jws.
the court did not find that to be a reason to reduce his sentence.
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InquiryMan
The punishment is not so severe for various crimes in Scandinavia as in e.g. the US. Maximum penalty even for multiple manslaughter is 21 yrs, most are released after 12 yrs imprisonment. I am sorry if my subject heading had the wrong wording. That was not initial intention. I realized it when I looked back to my posting, but then unable to edit it. Hence my 2nd posting on this topic. Why was it wrong. It does state that an elder did accompany him to the police. That is a positive involvement in fulfilling also an obligation to report to the police what has happened in an active way, and not only do a punitive reaction within the congregation.
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Grandpa turned in to police by JW elders
by InquiryMan inin norway, a 71 year old grandpa has been sentenced to 11 months jail and a fee og several thousands dollars for having molested his 8 and 10 year old grand-daughters.
he wanted to have his sentence reduced because of having been disfellowshipped from the jws.
the court did not find that to be a reason to reduce his sentence.
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InquiryMan
Maybe my subject heading was a bit sensational. According to the newspaper report he was accompanied by one elder. Whether he wanted to turn himselv in by his own initiative or being persuaded to do by the congregation elders was not stated in the newspaper.
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Grandpa turned in to police by JW elders
by InquiryMan inin norway, a 71 year old grandpa has been sentenced to 11 months jail and a fee og several thousands dollars for having molested his 8 and 10 year old grand-daughters.
he wanted to have his sentence reduced because of having been disfellowshipped from the jws.
the court did not find that to be a reason to reduce his sentence.
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InquiryMan
In Norway, a 71 year old grandpa has been sentenced to 11 months jail and a fee og several thousands dollars for having molested his 8 and 10 year old grand-daughters. He wanted to have his sentence reduced because of having been disfellowshipped from the JWs. The court did not find that to be a reason to reduce his sentence. He voluntarily went to the police accompanied by a congregation elder in order to report himselv. The police was not aware of his criminal acts before he reported himself. In Denmark some time ago, a couple also reported a brother the police for having molested their boy at the Kingdom Hall. So it seems, that in Scandinavia, such things are not always kept within the congregations. It might be that the influence due to groups like Silentlambs, have been influencing the witnesses to take a more pro-active stand on this issues.
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My life - a new turn
by InquiryMan inive been on the net ever since the miningco, old witnesses.net days and now here on jwd.
it has been an interesting journey.
yesterday my life took a new turn.
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InquiryMan
It was a process that has taken years. But once I’d told my wife, become part of the support group I was ready to tell my story her, although I`ve been her for years.
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42
My life - a new turn
by InquiryMan inive been on the net ever since the miningco, old witnesses.net days and now here on jwd.
it has been an interesting journey.
yesterday my life took a new turn.
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InquiryMan
Thanks a lot for your support. It warms me a lot. I’ve learnt to be somewhat more open through the process, although trying not to be too candid. Honesty is important to me. I did not impy to exclude anyone, Lisa. We are all human beings. As a witness, I e.g. never liked the subordinate position of women, I for instance, would not have objected to the thought of female elders... :-) I got along better with the sisters any one. What I did mean by saying "my" sort, is that I’ve paid a special attention to such posters in a way, cause it hit a "secret" (not so any longer) spot in me.
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42
My life - a new turn
by InquiryMan inive been on the net ever since the miningco, old witnesses.net days and now here on jwd.
it has been an interesting journey.
yesterday my life took a new turn.
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InquiryMan
Sorry about the typing, I did make paragraphs when typing it in word first, but I guess it disappeared when I inserted it. I am glad your life have turned out so well... (I’ve paid special attention to those of my sort).
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42
My life - a new turn
by InquiryMan inive been on the net ever since the miningco, old witnesses.net days and now here on jwd.
it has been an interesting journey.
yesterday my life took a new turn.
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InquiryMan
Thanks for all the encouragement. It means a lot to me. I am in fact proud of myself finally taking responsibility of my own life and destiny. If some gay ex-brothers would care to pm me, I’d appreaciate it a lot. Sharing the experience of having been a Jw as well as gay is quite unique.
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42
My life - a new turn
by InquiryMan inive been on the net ever since the miningco, old witnesses.net days and now here on jwd.
it has been an interesting journey.
yesterday my life took a new turn.
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InquiryMan
bttt
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42
My life - a new turn
by InquiryMan inive been on the net ever since the miningco, old witnesses.net days and now here on jwd.
it has been an interesting journey.
yesterday my life took a new turn.
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InquiryMan
I’ve been on the net ever since the miningco, old witnesses.net days and now here on JWD. It has been an interesting journey. Yesterday my life took a new turn. However, I’d like to give my story up till then. I was born in a Northern European country some 40 yrs ago. My parents got baptized in the pre 75yrs, but did not express much belief in 1975 per se, even though I remember old-time witnesses surrounding them stressed it alot. E.g. when my mother got new curtains, she was mildly mocked, What was the point, A being months away. I entered the TMS even before my father and was a zealous «disciple». I had no problems adjusting to witness life, activity was vibrant then and the social life had something to offer, even to children and youngsters. E.g. in the weekends we went into the countryside preaching, but always had a picnic with swimming preceding it. It was quite enjoyable. Also, a sister who was a teacher, arranged a Saturday club for the children. We even had a congregation sponsored children’s day in the (rented) Kingdom Hall. Time passed and i entered the teen years. I was careful to abide by ALL witness rules, which in fact had a detrimental effect on my emotional life. E.g. I conquered the normal habit of masturbation for 8 yrs (must be a world record). I also had the dubios status of being the only unkissed teen-ager in the world – at least I thought so myself. I was a zealous witness boy – even preaching at the police station, on the subway and for my fellow school mates. In the graduation book from grammer school it was pointedly stated. XX is a zealous Jehovah’s witness, but sometimes he forgets about it. (poor translation). In time, most young people in my congregation moved or quit, quite a few due to an almost paranoid, overzealous elder. I felt utterly alone those years. Then I moved to the capital city, finally got my first kiss at the overwhelming age of 24... In between I attended int. Assemblies, which definitely belong to my peak experiences as a witness. We did split up, and I met my wife to be. We got married after some one year’s acquintance. I did love her very much and she also loved me. But there was an obstacle. I’ll come back to that later. Unfortunately, I was not capable of adjusting from my repressed emotional life to that of suddenly being able to enjoy intimate relations. (What a victorian language LOL). On my wedding night, I visioned all the elders standing in front of me. It did not bolster my libido, so to speak. My wife, however, was understanding. We kept having some problems though, but we lives quite happily for some years, and we got three lovely children. I was a MS before we got married (my conscience was so strong, that I actually confessed to an elder some time after getting married that I had carressed my wife to be’s breasts before we got married. I guess he was impressed by my humility and remorse. In the early 90s I was appointed elder. This did not contribute much to me staying a witness. All the time as a witness I was of an inquiring mind, having read books and newspaper articles on JWs, Both positive and negative. I was well aware of faults, e.g. 607 vs 587 etc. I also wanted to read CoC and ISofCF, but did not until I had exited, more than a decade later. I guess I harbored doubts for a long time, but suppressed it all the time. I remember defending the DF/shunning at the doors, although disagreeing myself. I was quite disappointed when reading info on the society’s PR web site softening the policy, wheres internally it was practiced much stricter. My sister-in-law got DF, and we shunned her for five years. Finally, my wife and resumed contact after a personal tragedy that had happened to them. At first, on the internet, I found it interesting to be in touch with witnesses on the net, finding the Society’s staunch opposition to the net being rather backward. In time, I guess I distances myself to loyal witnesses by being somewhat critical on merel cultural differences, not theological/organiazational issues. In time, I could no longer reconcile my doubts with being an elder and an active witness. I disagreed on the DF/shunning policy and blood doctrine, and birthdays. I found the society’s polices on child abuse erroneus, and its organizational history dubious and its flip-flops unbearable and found the UN involvement very strange indeed (isolated I felt the involvement in a way good, but considering the societys views on the UN, it was just hypocritical). This, finally, I stepped down as an elder, and after a few months, stopped attending meetings and taking part in (token) field service. One main reason for not being active witnesses anymore, was that we wanted our children to have a normal life offereing them more choices. Fortunately, both my wife and I agreed on this, although we had kept our thoughts on this to ourselves. My reason to leave, was mostly theological/organizional, whereas my wife wanted to have a more normal, mainstream life. The past years our married deteroriated, leaving us to live like brothers and sisters in a way. We remained friends however, all the time, and co-operated nicely on the practical level. These were difficult years. Finally, my wife deciced to separate. I grudingly accepted, although having all reasons to agree. I have always held the dream of the modell family in high esteem...! However, it was faking a dream. Before we got married, I had the guts to tell my wife I was struggling with homosexuality (e.g. in dreams). I had never acted upon it though. In fact I severaly suppressed it all those years. However, the past few years it came more to the surface, I guess esp. Since the lack of intimacy etc opened the gates for it. I still not acted upon it, apart from finally accepting my own body and the pleasures it could provide me. I still love my wife, although on a different level. Living a lie is no good. I yesterday, told my wife I was gay. However, all this time, I never lived a double life so to speak. I’ve joined a group of ”Late bloomers” having group discussions on this issue. I´ll attend the first meeting today. I am very exited, but quite anxious too. I had been scared to tell my wife, scared of what It might open, but she reacted very nicely. She had known all the time, and she was glad that I finally allowed my self to embrace ”my” life and allowing her to be free to have hers. I regret though for not allowing it to happen sooner, but I was honestly not able to face it until now. I also went to a psychitrist for more than a year, and it helped me a lot. We’ve resolved to be best friends, having shared such a long time together, having children we must care for etc. I think it will work out for the best. I’ll rebuild my life under new terms. Hopefully, I might not be happier, but relieving the burden of not being 100 per cent me is lifted. So far only you and my wife knows, but gradually I´ll include my family (difficult since they are all witnesses, but they have accepted our withdrawal quite graciously, but this issue will be on another level. Also in time, my children and colleagues will be told. I look forward to start living again, having merely existed for some time. I hope you´ll back me and I’ll valu the input you might give, being mails or pm’s. I hope I have not offended anyone.