Thanks for the reply Moshe, perhaps i am oversensitive at times.
thanks also for your kind wishes for my family situation
Sky
are you prepared to apologise even when it is not you fault?.
.
uun .
Thanks for the reply Moshe, perhaps i am oversensitive at times.
thanks also for your kind wishes for my family situation
Sky
the mother who says having these two children is the biggest regret of her lifeisabella dutton, 57, says she wishes she had remained childless'i resented the time my children consumed.
like parasites, they took from me and didn't give back'.
isabella dutton would have been happier not having children.
Happy for you Skeeter :o) Your children are lucky to have you. Its good to be reminded we dont have to be PERFECT to be the best parents for our kids eh?
the mother who says having these two children is the biggest regret of her lifeisabella dutton, 57, says she wishes she had remained childless'i resented the time my children consumed.
like parasites, they took from me and didn't give back'.
isabella dutton would have been happier not having children.
I read this story recently, and I think this woman was incredibly brave for telling it. I hope there is not a huge backlash against her. I dont think there is a mother alive (or at least not many) who hasnt had very similar feelings at some stage. No, she shouldnt have had children, but she did so for her husband, and she was the best mother she could possibly be, despite it not being her "career of choice".
I feel sad for her that she didnt get to feel that rush of maternal joy when she held her newborns. For me its a time I absolutely treasured, and it never lasted long enough!
I have my moments of regret as my children get older and harder to keep up with, and its hard to be a good mother as well as a good wife! (Why did i ever think i could do this!!?? lol) There is a funny saying about parenting toddlers and young children "How is it that I started the day as Mary Poppins, but by the end of the day have slowly morphed into Cruella Deville?!" So my poor hubby gets to meet Cruella Deville at the door when he comes home from work... :o/
sensible, safe sex, in my opinion, should be engaged in.
because, as you get older and are ready to settle down, you will look at your potential sole mate, not for sexual reasons, but for what they have to offer mentally and if they are compatible.
when religion restricts this, and yuo must marry to have sex, i believe that you doom a marriage at the outset, because these young folks marry out of lust, only to have the rose colored blinders pulled off later, and regret the entire arrangement... .
Definitely agree with the OP
Some posters seem to think sexual incompatability is the issue, but i think that might be a little off topic?
The OP mentioned rushing into marriage because of lust. Getting married for all the wrong reasons and too young is a recipe for disaster. If we take away the old fashioned no sex before marriage, it eliminates sex as a reason to get married. If you marry someone, you need to make sure you are compatable in many ways, not just sex. For myself, emotional and intellectual compatability are incredibly important to a healthy relationship. If they are missing, everything else seems to suffer.
are you prepared to apologise even when it is not you fault?.
.
uun .
moshe i took this off another thread but posting it here now - in some of your recent posts you sound like someone with a serious dislike for women in general. Im sorry if you have been hurt/manipulated in the past. We are not all like you say we are...Your comments are extremely offensive and hurtful to me as a woman, and Im sure Im not the only one here who feels that way. See posting guideline number 2 and please, think before you post. Best wishes to you. Sky
background: i joined the jws when i was 21, left about 11 years ago.. up until recently, i had never been in a relationship that went longer than a few months.
and that was just one.. i've been with my current for the past 3.5 years.
she's, just, okay.. i've never felt like, oh, i love her so much.
removed post - thought better of it
background: i joined the jws when i was 21, left about 11 years ago.. up until recently, i had never been in a relationship that went longer than a few months.
and that was just one.. i've been with my current for the past 3.5 years.
she's, just, okay.. i've never felt like, oh, i love her so much.
drink the alcohol AFTER you break up with your GF, she at least deserves the respect of a sober discussion!
background: i joined the jws when i was 21, left about 11 years ago.. up until recently, i had never been in a relationship that went longer than a few months.
and that was just one.. i've been with my current for the past 3.5 years.
she's, just, okay.. i've never felt like, oh, i love her so much.
Sorry to say, you have already hurt her.
You need to be honest so she can move on - if you pretend to love her when you dont, you are stopping her from moving on and having a relationship with someone who loves her back equally, not just sticking around because he's scared to be alone.
Be kind but honest. Apologise for leading her on for so long. Id cry all night too if i wasted 3.5 years on a guy who didnt love me back - unrequited love SUCKS. It is not self pitying to be upset about that!
Please dont jump into another relationship too soon - sounds like you might be better single for a while. You sound like you're just as needy as you say she is -concentrate on developing FRIENDSHIPS first, if you can maintain a few of them for a while, then you might just be able to have a healthy romantic relationship.
Wishing you and her all the best
Sky
jehovah's witnesses say it is not their responsibility to report child sex abuse to police unless mandatory reporting legislation is in place.. a victorian inquiry on thursday heard that when a jehovah's witness leader hears allegations of abuse they are directed immediately to contact the society's legal department to check their obligations under state law.. jehovah's witness legal counsel rachel van witsen said elders were not expected to know their legal obligations.. "this is done to ensure elders fully comply with any legal requirements that may be applicable in the state in which they reside," she said.. "in victoria if there was mandatory reporting the immediate advice would be to report that immediately.".
the society's director terrence o'brien said the decision to take the allegations to police lay with the victim.. "without mandatory reporting we don't feel that as ministers of religion that's our obligation to do that," mr o'brien said.. however, the organisation would encourage the victim to report it and would co-operate fully with police, he said.. ms van witsen said elders would make an exception if they felt the child was threatened.. "we would report that to appropriate authorities," she told the inquiry.. "we're about stopping child abuse.".
two ministers have been removed from the society for child sex abuse in 40 years of records, the parliamentary inquiry heard.. http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/2013/04/11/20/59/jehovah-s-witnesses-stay-in-line-on-abuse.
I know of many decent elders who would definitely encourage reporting, but others that see things differently and would want to keep it all hush hush.
Im all for mandatory reporting in all states. That way, they are legally compelled to report even suspicion of child abuse/neglect etc. Same as school teachers. The WTS should be erring on the side of caution here, if they are really "about stopping child abuse", then why wait for the law to compel them to report. I guess they are worried about defamation.
Where is it in the elders handbook that they should encourage victims to go to the police?? That direction needs to be there. And elders should be reminded of it!
I know of some witnesses who see the elders as the final authority and want them to act as policemen, because that is the way they have been led to feel by all the brainwashing - there needs to be a WT article about this.... are you reading this WTS??!! Some witnesses take the WT as gospel and they wont do anything unless a WT encourages it!!! YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THESE PEOPLE!!!
Rant over.
are you prepared to apologise even when it is not you fault?.
.
uun .
Yes, in the "Im sorry that things are so tense between us... can we talk about it/make up now please? I miss you" way
but not in the im so sorry i did wrong (even tho i didnt) way
Just this weekend I bawled my eyes out to my husband and my mum (seperately) and said, Im so sorry that this hurts you, I hate that you are upset. I just cant be a hypocrite and remain active when I dont believe it all anymore.
I am genuinely sad for their pain and stress, but im not sorry for my actions.