@ Scarlet Martin
The Elusive Quality of Balance
Keep your head in all situations. Keep your mind sane and balanced. Always be steady.—2 Timothy4 :5, NIV, PME, and RSV renderings respectively.
Balance indicates mental and emotional steadiness, calmness, the
ability to resist pressures that sway, to avoid extremes both in
thought and conduct. The word “balance” rarely appears in Bible
translations. But it is implicit in the many Scriptural exhortations toward understanding, insight, perceptiveness, for it is a product of those qualities. I believe it is best exemplified for us in the life of God’s Son, in what he said, did and, above all, what he was as a person. His apostles reflect the influence of the balance they saw in, and learned from, their Master....................copied from In Search of Christian freedom
You need Ray Franz books sincerely. Crisis of Conscience and ISoCF.
I recommend you read the chapter 17 of ISoCF with title
THE CHALLENGE OF CHRISTIAN FREEDOM. By the time you conclude the reading you can decide to take other chapters as you desire. But now you really need chapter 17 Keep the Bible verse above to keep your SUICIDAL THOUGHT in check.
You are able to connect with us here because many of here CHALLENGED the suicidal thought and beat it at its own game. Had they succumbed. You won't come here.
Fear of Freedom
To fear is to expect punishment, and anyone who is afraid is still imperfect in love.—1 John 4:18, Jerusalem Bible.
Christian freedom, as has been noted, is not simply a negative freedom—the freedom not to believe, not to do—but primarily a positive freedom, the freedom to believe, to do, to be. Though it may seem strange, many find such positive freedom, or just the prospect of it, frightening. For that freedom means taking on responsibility to come to conclusions based on understanding and convictions personally arrived at in one’s own mind and heart, not in someone else’s mind and heart or founded on others’ interpretations and reasonings; the responsibility to make personal choices.............still on Chapter 17
Regarding 1 John 4:18 it is meant to address the PUNISHMENT you are about to face concerning being SENT PACKING from HOME and the challenge you are about to face here on in life.
The Storm is HERE every free Christian out there FACED and weathered the storm.
In addition to your taking sabatcical you might add that ALL ORGANIZED RELIGIONS are CONFLICTED in the way they are ALL CONSTITUTED internally and externally and you have to put your faith in order co concerning that. The reason you are taking a sabbatical
I bet the elders won't grasp where you are coming from.
I leave you with James 1:27 this you can do, this anyone can do without being a MEMBER OF ANY RELIGIOUS ORGANIZATION.
The below is a BONUS to the numerous task you set for yourself as highlighted below........
I can take time to understand how I will proceed and further confirm to myself how the Watchtower is a destructive cult which rules by fear and manipulation to maintain their thirst for power and money.
https://beroeans.net/2018/11/09/awakening-part-4-where-do-i-go-now/