I remember when my dad died (he was apostate, but not me) I was so relieved because I felt like Jehovah knew what a kind, loving man he really was and that for sure he would be resurrected. When he disassociated himself, it felt like someone had gutted me with a knife. Strangely, not long after he died, I innocently found something on the web that forever changed me and then it became a burning mission to find out the truth about "the truth".
I told my oldest brother about this and he said that dad told him that of all of his kids, I would be the one to come around. I know this sounds strange but I felt like he (my dad) was the one pushing me to keep investigating even though he was dead.