My stepson, who was raised JW until he was 13 when his parents separated and his mom stopped attending, told me that "if Armegedon occurs and there is Paradise on Earth and if it's only JW's there, I'd rather stay dead!" Pretty harsh, I know but he feels that his childhood was ruined because of his JW parents. He is very upset that his dad has recently started attending the hall again. I have told his dad that he will be lonely in his so-called paradise because none of his family will be there.
ingimar
JoinedPosts by ingimar
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WT Society Still Lies to JW's into Believing they Live Forever - 12/15 WT
by flipper inthis quote was just so annoying and unbelievable it stunk the pages right up.
but doesn't all the wt rhetoric stink it up ?
in the article titled, " find real success in life " on pg.
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ingimar
I am going to really try to not be confrontational with him. He is due home tomorrow and I am not going to say anything. In a couple of days I will ask him a question pertaining to his faith. I haven't determined what I should ask him first but I am going to have all my facts before asking. Any thoughts on what should be my first topic of discussion?
I am scheduled for major surgery next week too and and I know that he is very concerned about me. Perhaps me being laid up and needing him will make him think independantly about us and "them". As a sidenote, the doctor is very aware that he is JW and not to be consulted in the event that I require blood.
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ingimar
If I did that Moshe, he would always resent me. I will do this however, as a last resort.
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ingimar
I doubt thatt our marriage will survive if he becomes a radical and right now, he is headed down that path. When he returns from the hall, I am looking at a man that I don't know. He has this glassed over look in his eyes and he has completely withdrawn from me. If he starts spending more time with them, he will become increasingly withdrawn and see me, his worldy wife through tainted lenses. I won't live with a man who doesn't value who I am as a person but who instead sees me as flawed and corrupt.....We will see. I am going to try my best to bring him back to me.
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ingimar
Apognophus..thanks for the insight and guidance. I think that your suggestions make a lot of sense in my situation. I have tried to be non-judgemantal but at times have let my emotions get the better of me and presented myself as being in "the spirit of the world", in his eyes. I must not appear to be an "opposer"( even though I am) but instead be accepting and perhaps inquisitive. I have to select my questions to him carefully and make sure that the questions that I ask him, make him think and reflect. I am seeing him withdrawing from me and I have to make him comfortable to be around me again without him being afraid that I am going to assault his beliefs.
I am going to do my best! He is a wonderful, albeit misguided, man and we have a good marriage.
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ingimar
I tried finding the Steven Hassan book "Releasing the Bonds" online but I was only able to order the book "Combatting Cult Mind Control" and I ordered it. I will look elsewhere for the other book. I live in a small town and don't have access to a large bookstore.
The information that everyone has sent will hopefully help me to get him back. He is away working right now and I can tell that being away from their influence is beneficial to us. However, I know that they know his work schedule and that they will be on him like flies to s??t when he gets home. I am not sure that I can keep him occupied enough during this time but I will try. New Year's has always been special to us so I have been telling him how sad it is that he has to work this year and that I will cook a special dinner for us when he gets home and we will celebrate then. I act like I don't know that he is not supposed to celebrate this holiday and he has not yet suggested that he won't. He seems happy to celebrate when he comes home.
I realize that they are trying to emotionally separate us and I am going to do everything that I can to prevent this. I don't want to lose him but I also don't want him to look at me and see Satan. I have told him that I am 100% positive that Satan does not influence me. He is not convinced, to say the least. If this marriage ends, I will know that I did everything that I could to save it.
As per your questions pertaining to his first marriage. He told me that he and his wife were both JW's and were brought into it by her mother. He said that the marriage broke up because he spent too much time working and that she fell out of love with him. Hi son however says that his ex became a JW to try and save the marriage but quit practicing as soon as she realized the marriage could not be saved. The son saw this as a way out of attending the hall and he never went back. He was in school at the time. His ex does not practice and I don't think the ex mother in law does either as I see pictures of them all celebrating Christmas, birthdays etc. Thus, he is the only one that is a JW. There must be some serious disussions amongst the elders as to how to keep his "worldy" family from getting to him and how to convert me. I would love to be a fly on the wall of their meetings.
My husband has told me that I should maybe attend the Hall with him. I told him that I would attend and that he should invite me to one of their social gatherings sometimes where there won't be any bible or watchtower talk. I, of course, know that there are no such social gatherings. I told him that I would research his religion myself without any help and decide for myself and that if I had any questions, I would ask him and I would expect him to answer them on his own, without consulting anybody. After a couple of weeks, I told him that I had been checking out his religion and I was now further from accepting his "truth" than I ever was.
Thanks again for all you advice and please post anything else that you think would help me.
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ingimar
Thanks so much for all of the input. I tried ordering the book as an ebook as I don't want him to see it in the house. It appears that it is not available as an ebook in Canada. I will check into that more tonight. I have tried laying down ultimatums and blowing up everytime he comes home from the hall but have learned that is what he expects me to do. He is told that all of us non believers will oppose his finding the truth. I am sure that he has also been told to not to listen to my questions or concerns as Satan has consumed me and is trying to lure him back into the evil world....which just happens to be his home. I still think that I need him to think that I am accepting of all of this but that I need his help in understanding it. I will study and be armed with facts, ask one question at a time and not let him get off topic. He always gets his bible and quotes things from it. He never refers to the Watchtower literature during our discussions as I have questioned him on why he needs someone else to tell him what the bible says. When he came back from the hall last week, I wanted to look at the current Watchtower and he grabbed it from me and put it away. I think that I need to try to use his bible against him. I have asked him why the name Jehovah never appears once in the new testament in the original greek transcripts. He insists that it does and I insist that it does not. How can I back this up further? Another area of contention is the origination of the name Jehovah and the "hallowed be thy name" in the lords prayer. My research has lead me to see that the name Jehovah is in fact a created name. Any suggestions on how to back this up.
Another good thing is that he works in a remote location and stays there while working. Again, none of the people there are JWs nor has he told them that he is one.
I really must go to work now but will check back later. I really appreciate all of the suggestions and I am more optimistic today but realize that its going to be a struggle.
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ingimar
I will definitely look at those books. I have been trying to collect truths from jwfacts but whenever I ask him something, he seems to be able to evade answering and quotes me something from his special bible that proves that he has the "truth". His kids are on board but two of them live a long ways away. I have to control my emotions and show him that his home is not posessed by Satan.
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ingimar
I am new to this site but I need any help that I can get.
I have been married to my husband for four years but we lived together for 3 years before we were married. This is a second marriage for us both. When I met him, he told me that he was a JW but he never went to the hall and he was a wonderful man with strong family values. He moved to where I was living and attended the hall once in 7 years. We was reserved in celebrating Christmases, birthdays, etc. but he did buy me presents and attend functions with me.
Well, two years ago we moved to a different community and until a couple of months ago, I had been able to keep the door knockers away from him. One day, I was not so fortunate as I came home to find him chatting to a man dressed in a suit with a phony smile pasted on his face and papers in his hand. My husband had the same phony smile on his face when he introduced me. Well once this guy knew that he had a prospect, he kept showing up and my husband returned to the hall. I told him that I was worried about them coming between us and that I needed to know that "us" would always be his number one priority. At first he said yes but last week, after about his fourth visit to the hall, we had a bit of a blowup and when I asked him if he was forced between chosing me or his religion, what would he choose; he couldn't answer. Every week, I see him drifting farther away from me and he is turning into someone that I don't know.
I should mention that none of his family are jws, including his three adult kids who never went back to the hall when his first marriage broke up. He has no family or friends at the hall although I know that the jws here are trying to deceive him into thinking that they are his family. I have spoken to his one son who is very upset that his dad has returned and he wants to do an intervention. Originally I thought that this was a good idea but I am not sure that we could pull it off as he won't listen to anything or anybody that disputes the watchtower propoganda. I am hoping that he will listen to his kids.
I need some help!
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