Posts by tyydyy

30

Ebonics Homework

by Tatiana in

apologies to any tyson fans, but this was too funny!.

as part of his parole agreement, mike tyson has to go back to school .

and finish grade 5. this is mike's ebonics homework assignment.

Since I'm from Arkansas, I am more familiar with Hillbonics.
Some of the more popular phrases were.
Meer! Youant sum fresh maters.
Dem taters 'bout ready to dig?
HoooooooWeeeee! Dat outhouse is STAINKY!

Actual conversation:
"How'd ya get dat knot on yor forehead, Doyle Gene?"
"Well Tim....My dogs treed a coon and I didn't have no gun with me so I picked up this here rock ta throw up thar and knock dat coon out an............"
Tim: "{{{{{snicker}}}}}"

Loved your post TATIANA!!!! and I love seeing your face around here.

TimB

21

I can't get it up...what do I do!

by gilwarrior in

this is rather embarrassing to say, but i have a problem.

the three times i have had sex i have noticed that i can't get aroused by normal penetration.

only oral sex will do it.

tyydyy

Dude, don't worry about it I use that excuse all the time. Get more BJ's that way!
Make 'em work for it, man.

TimB

38

What do you drink???

by Billygoat in

thought this was funny!.

drinks and personalities.

seven new york city bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality, based on what she drinks.

tyydyy

Ok Andi here goes:

When I'm near broke or watching football I drink beer.
When I'm not broke and at a fine dining establishment I drink Louis Jadot Pinot Noir.
When I'm feeling strong and stupid I drink Scotch on the rocks.
I never mix mixed drinks.

My personal favorite:
The sweet aromatic nectar of the Goddesses.

GDW, I don't have experience as a cabin boy but I have been locked up in the "basement" before. Does that count? I'm working on my South Seas tan.

TimB

16

'Time' not a constant in the Universe!

by Outaservice in

jw
friends

when i was a good old jw, going out in service, counting my time, i noticed something strange.. i could drive to one side of the county, make a back-call, and then drive clear through town as slow as i could and then out of town to the other side of the county to make another back-call.

the total time it took to do this was about 6 minutes!.

if i was not out in service and was trying to rush, say to a movie, it took at least 45 minutes to get through town alone!

tyydyy

Intersting discussion!

Now that you mention it I remember evidence that time was not constant. At assemblies (and conventions) I remember there was nothing I could do that made time speed up unless you actually left the premises. Once you left the property time seemed to go back to normal speed. When you came back, it crawled. Sleep didn't even help. You could fall asleep for thirty minutes and it was like time slowed even more because you tried to cheat it. There were some tricks I used to "cheat" the joshua effect. Such as: Holding my breath and timing it. I could eventually get up to 1 1/2 minutes and by that time the meeting would probably be over. When I had a baby I would take her outside and listen to music in the car or drive to the corner store for a snack. I must tell you taking the baby out was the absolute best way to counteract the Joshua effect.

TimB

24

Is cyber sex cheating?

by Sky in

i am interested in people's opinions on this.... is or is not cybersex cheating?

tyydyy

Each relationship defines sex in their own way and that is the way it should be. Don't let anyone else tell you what is or isn't acceptable for your relationship. You can and should talk to others and find out what works for them or what they think but you and your lover/lovers should decide what boundries you want in your relationships. There is nothing that says that those boundries could not change in the future. This question though should be worked out by a discussion with your partner though. Since you probably just came out of a religion that taught no tolerance when it comes to sexual and relationship matters I really think you and your partner should get some different viewpoints on the subject and decide for yourselves what type of relationship you want or can handle.

Just my 3 cents.

TimB

25

What is?

by larc in

jw
friends

what is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

tyydyy

I like Peaches and Cream. Mmmmmmmmmmmm!

TimB

16

To The Son of Mary

by IslandWoman in

jw
friends

dear son of mary,.

i do not know if mary and joseph were your parents.

i do not know if you performed miracles, i do not know if you picked 12 apostles.

tyydyy

It doesn't make one a hypocrite to celebrate christmas when they don't believe in Jesus any more than it does to celebrate christmas even though they don't believe in Santa Claus. I celebrate Christmas cause it's fun. Imagine that. I'm touching the unclean thing. The biggest difference between now an when I was a witness is: I don't give a rat's ass about religious purity. It's not hypocritical to celebrate something you don't believe in. It's harmless fun. Just like Halloween.

TimB

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