Welcome to the forum, thedog1.
I can totally relate with you. I'm currently serving as MS and served as an Elder for years before I resigned for personal reasons. Nowadays I make clear that I don't want to serve as an Elder again - I give many excuses, but the knowledge I obtained about the Organization and its teachings doesn't allow me to serve in such position in good conscience. My wife is basically like your wife. Very faithful, doesn't question anything, sees some flaws but she sweeps everything under the carpet and is terrified when she senses me being critical towards the "mother". Actually she made it very clear that if she had to choose between me or Jehovah's Organization, she would choose the latter. So, I know what to expect from there.
If you conduct the Watchtower study, may I also conclude that you're the COTBOE in your congregation?
In any case, please thread carefully, you have much to lose. Trust no one. It's very tempting to try to get validation from other Elders, but in the end you will be fed to the machine as dead meat. Don't take it to the CO or DO either. They're absolutely Company men - their "jobs" and paycheck depend on that. It's a very solitary space where you are.
In any case, please take courage. There are others in this forum in your exact situation. Feel free if you'd like to PM me about anything.
Eden