Welcome, Garrett.
First and foremost - seek professional help for your depression issue. Don't for a minute rest thinking that Bible counsel or getting more deeply engaged in any kind of theocratic activity will be of genuine help. You need professional counseling and most likely, medication. Once you're on medication, it's really important that you stick to it under your doctor's supervision. Most JW's have a tendency to downplay medical science in favor of "natural meds" or other kinds of "alternative therapies" offered by charlatans that often are JW's themselves or their relatives. Don't follow that trend.
Then, use that depression to your advantage - as an excuse to fade from the field service, KH meetings, and evade shepherding calls from Elders. Eventually they will give you some room (mainly because they don't want to deal with it, anyway) and then you will have some room to breathe. You will, from time to time, deal with guilty feelings, and those may add to your anxiety and depression, but they will too start fading away. Just don't allow yourself to be guilt-driven back into the Org. You're young and don't have much 'baggage' (children, relatives) within the Org, and, like others have said, it makes things so much less complicated.
In the meantime, try to find some interesting activity, a hobby, a pet, that may safely capture your attention and affection away from the KH.
Eden
