I need to make this one post because there are some things that need to be clarified.
1) Please don’t make this thread a “I hate Vivian” thread. This all started out because I advocated that people shouldn’t be personally atacked, insulted and called names on a forum where ideas and opinions are being debated, because that’s detrimental to the very pupose of this forum, which is to help people on their journey out of the Jehovah’s Witnesses. If this thread becames a venue for insulting Vivian, then it has become the opposite of what I defended and we’re not the better person.
2) I never called for Vivian to be banned, that’s a preposterous claim. I asked Simon to do something about it, to not condone the bully, name-calling behavior, but never suggested what he should do about it. It’s his home, it’s not my place to tell him what he should or should not do.
3) This was a personal beef between me and Vivian, and I only made it public because she publicly accused me of a serious thing, and I felt that public explanation had to be given for my decision to leave. I’m not trying to accrete a mob of Vivian haters.
4) I never demanded an apology. Actually it was Vivian that first publicly demanded an apology from me. I asked for a retraction of the ridiculous public accusation of calling me a liar and a hypocrite.
5) By leaving, I would like to raise awareness about the type of behavior, not the person in question.
6) Simon, when you’re in your position, you can’t please everyone everytime. Criticism comes with the territory, and if I mildly criticized you, at least I was loyal when I did it.
7) I have been twice the chairman of two associations of professionals in my business area. My management work was entirely pro-bono for the benefit of dozens of colleagues. Believe me, I appreciate what Simon is doing for all of us, and I know what it feels like to work for the benefit of others, without getting paid for it, expected to be on-demand for others, and then receiving ingratitude at the end of it. Been there, done it, bought the T-shirt, and eventually stopped doing it because there’s only so much one can take. I hope you don’t, Simon. What you do here is priceless and no words of gratitude can ever be enough for what you do.
8) In my offline life I had to deal with a Vivian type of bully stalker, for years, who created arguments with me from thin air just for the sake of winning arguments, and who did real damage to my professional life by fabricating stories about me (including forging documents) and spreading them around my professional netwok. At the origin of this behavior was that I didn’t agree with him on a strategy of negociation with the official authorities that regulate our trade. Simple difference of opinion, but he made it into a personal vendetta. Others knew what he was saying was BS, but because he was a senior, several decades older than me, had political connections, nobody wanted to confront him, or have him as an enemy, so nobody stuck for me either when it mattered. I learned that the only solution was for me to step down and walk away before my health was damaged. That’s when I found peace. This old man is now sick and alone and even his own children won’t have anything to do with him. That’s how bully, confrontational people end up. Because of his lesson I know that the best thing for me is to stay away altogether and let people like this to dig their own grave.
9) To have one’s honorability attacked in public is no petty “kindergarden” thing. Not in my culture. Even if that attack is made on an online forum just to bring out an emotional response and test the other person's limits. If that's the case, then it's just a plain stupid thing to do.
10) I was moved by the support you gave me. Thank you. Even Mrs. Eden says I’m silly to leave, that it’s beneath me to allow this to bother me. Go figure.
Eden