EdenOne

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Posts by EdenOne

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  14

  One Year Past Disassociation - An Appraisal

  by EdenOne in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  two weeks ago marked one year over my disassociation.

  time for an appraisal.. quick summary of my story for those who came in lately: my mother brought me into the witnesses when i was 4, grew up the role-model jw boy, baptized at 16, married a zealous reg.

  pio.

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  EdenOne

  Magnum That's the way I am, too.

  That's what usually INTP's are.

  What is an INTP personality

  I dearly loved and appreciated it; I felt unworthy of it.

  Yep, I too felt I was privileged, part of an elite amongst the morally decayed, hopeless world.
  
  
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  14

  One Year Past Disassociation - An Appraisal

  by EdenOne in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  two weeks ago marked one year over my disassociation.

  time for an appraisal.. quick summary of my story for those who came in lately: my mother brought me into the witnesses when i was 4, grew up the role-model jw boy, baptized at 16, married a zealous reg.

  pio.

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  EdenOne

  Two weeks ago marked one year over my disassociation. Time for an appraisal.

  Quick summary of my story for those who came in lately: My mother brought me into the Witnesses when I was 4, grew up the role-model JW boy, baptized at 16, married a zealous Reg. Pio. Witness at 21, MS and Elder by 30 fathered a son at 25. Around 40 started to investigate the history of the Jehovah's Witnesses and found out many inconsistencies and from then on questioned JW doctrine, then the Bible, then the existence of God. I have found out Robert King's website first, then this forum, then JWFacts and read Franz's "Crisis of Conscience", and the rest is history. I progressively became agnostic, borderline atheist and apatheist.

  During this process I have helped my son (baptized at 11) and my super-zealous wife to leave the Witnesses too. With a few dramatic set-backs and witch-hunts in the process, I was successful in helping my household family to exit this wretched cult. We all became faders, hoping we would fall into oblivion and keep family ties, but that was not to happen so smoothly. When my son turned 18 and was summoned to attend National Defense Day and refused to apply for Conscientious Objector status, he was disfellowshipped. Immediately, in protest, me and my wife turned in our letters of disassociation.

  So, one year later, where are we?

  My son is now 20 and just finished his 4th semester of university in Psychology with remarkable grades. He is a great kid overall, he has overcome his depression that he developed around 15, but struggles to build meaningful relationships with his colleagues, including dating.

  My wife managed to improve her working conditions (now her boss pays for her social security and retirement, something she didn't bother about before because, you know, paradise ... now she knows she will have to eventually retire and need a pension....) and she has begun to establish some meaningful relationships outside the JW world, including a solid friendship with a former JW that she met through someone who is a member of the Portuguese ex-JW forum. She still struggles occasionally with the side effects of her bipolar condition, but overall she feels a lot better, less anxiety, she enjoys her freedom outside the JW world, and loathes her former religion and the life wasted slaving for this organization. She attempted to get involved with some charity work, but without much success.

  As for me. I sometimes miss the friendships that I had inside the JW world, because I struggle to build up new relationships. I'm naturally an introvert (although superficially I may come across as an extrovert), and I live a rich inner life, so friendships and relationships aren't on top of my priorities, I guess. My business is very demanding and stressful, and doesn't lend itself to build up new relationships (except with fellow colleagues, but I tend to stay away from them because I don't usually like the average bloke in my line of business), and sadly I don't have much time for music, which would be a new way to make friends. I usually tell myself that I should do something about that, but my work usually takes the best, because ...well, putting food on the table is a priority.

  I have expanded my business since I left the Witnesses, and I recently got a proposal to take on a management role on a larger business while keeping my own business running. I'm pondering that situation still, whether accept it or not, but having someone who believes on my skills is something that has a profound effect on me, because it is deeply ingrained into me that unless I give myself some credit for my own achievements, no one ever will (and that is a leftover of my upbringing in the Witnesses, where each one is a 'worthless slave' who cannot ever do enough...). In any case, while in the Witnesses, I would never even considered accepting that offer because then I might be considered materialistic and not enough focused on the Kingdom affairs. I have tried to establish some new ties with family members who we have neglected over the years, with some interesting results. Again, not easy ... but they have been awesome to understand where we are coming from.

  I don't feel like leaving the Witnesses has turned my life around 360 degrees. Some personal challenges remain. I feel frustrated with the lack of time to dedicate to things I like. I simply feel free, I'm not tormented with guilt, I'm not concerned with my fate after I'm gone from this life, and I have come to terms with my own mortality and the fact that this is the only life I have to live, and I should live it as best as I can. Me and my wife now feel free to further explore our sexuality without guilt and fear, and that has had positive results to our marriage.

  My JW side of the family hasn't shunned us, which is great. I have a great relationship with my sibling and her family, and through my experience they realized that there is something fundamentally wrong with this religion, and I know they have serious doubts about the GB and whatnot ....but they chose to stay in because their entire network of friends is in there and they keep taking my aging and progressively demented mother to the meetings, because ...well she has nothing else. (One thing we have noticed is that NO ONE from the congregation visits my mother, who is dealing with Lewy Bodies Dementia, and often skips meetings - so much love for someone who has been a devout JW for over 40 years...)

  As for my wife's side of the family, it's a little bizarre. My uber zealous CO brother-in-law and wife shun me and my son, and my wife's sister only talks with her to take care of their JW aging father. But it is the strictly bare minimum necessary even avoiding saying "hello" on the phone. That's how picky prick they are. Her father doesn't shun us, and her aunt doesn't shun us either. Overall, in terms of family, we haven't lost much.

  It just feels good to be "normal" and free to pursuit whatever I chose to, without fear nor religious guilt. I am still the same nice guy I was when I was a Witness, now maybe even a better guy. When I look at those poor creatures walking aimlessly in pairs on the street, walking their briefcases and literature pouches, or idly watching the literature carts, salivating at each world event as if the end was nigh, I feel sad for them, and grateful that I'm not wasting away my life like that anymore. I feel somewhat sorry for some choices in life I made because of the Witnesses, but I try to not lament them too much; I choose to deal with the now and the future and I look forward to keep improving my life.

  Peace to you all, and much luck for your journey exiting this wretched cult. Many heartfelt thanks for many of you whose contributions helped me to get to where I am now. And many thanks Simon, for keeping this great forum running.
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  65

  My Younger Brother Has Left The Witnesses!! :-D

  by pale.emperor in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  absolutely thrilled to give you the news that my younger brother, a zealous full-time pioneer has left the witnesses!!.

  i haven't seen or spoke to him in a year.

  i'd lost all contact with him, no facebook, no mobile number, i didn't even know his address because he'd moved house.

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  EdenOne

  Fantastic news PE!

  Gaining you brother to life surely feels as good as me helping my wife to exit the absurd cult.

  Smalls steps, let him find out TTATT mostly by himself; keep in touch and show concern over his depression more than anything else. Without disclosing much, show him some "prescience" about things that he will go through and find out by himself and you'll score many points - as you did by preparing him for the elder's visits.

  Great, great news :)
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  66

  Huffington Post: When Is A Religion 'Extremist'? [Food for thought!]

  by AndersonsInfo in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/when-is-a-religion-extremist_us_590de8e3e4b046ea176aeb98.

  tim rymel, m.ed.. governments who support “religious freedom” over the equal human rights and dignity of others condone, and even endorse discrimination.. 05/06/2017 11:27 am et | photo – flickr/ justin kern .

  government endorsement of any religious ideology creates religious extremism.

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  EdenOne

  Bad ideas *can* and *should* be banned, if they are spread with the intent of becoming dangerous behaviors via others. For example, influencing youngsters to commit suicide. It's merely implanting an idea on someone else's mind. Should it be stopped from happening? I believe it should.
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  66

  Huffington Post: When Is A Religion 'Extremist'? [Food for thought!]

  by AndersonsInfo in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/when-is-a-religion-extremist_us_590de8e3e4b046ea176aeb98.

  tim rymel, m.ed.. governments who support “religious freedom” over the equal human rights and dignity of others condone, and even endorse discrimination.. 05/06/2017 11:27 am et | photo – flickr/ justin kern .

  government endorsement of any religious ideology creates religious extremism.

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  EdenOne

  Steve, if ONE JW would shun me genuinely out of their own volition, and not influenced by what is dictated to them by the Watchtower, I wouldn't protest.

  You and I know, however, that's not what happens.
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  66

  Huffington Post: When Is A Religion 'Extremist'? [Food for thought!]

  by AndersonsInfo in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/when-is-a-religion-extremist_us_590de8e3e4b046ea176aeb98.

  tim rymel, m.ed.. governments who support “religious freedom” over the equal human rights and dignity of others condone, and even endorse discrimination.. 05/06/2017 11:27 am et | photo – flickr/ justin kern .

  government endorsement of any religious ideology creates religious extremism.

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  EdenOne

  pbrow,

  You, I, and everyone, have the personal right to decide to not communicate with someone based on whatever opinion we have of said person. That doesn't make anyone an extremist. If I believe someone in the neighborhood is a pedophile, I am entitled to shun that person and instruct my children to stay away from any contact.

  However, it is a whole different matter when an Organization teaches and coerces its members to discriminate against others based on religious, racial, ethnical, or sexual differences. That constitutes a violation of human rights. That is indeed extremism. That is what the Organization of the Jehovah's Witnesses does. Ask the Jehovah's Witnesses if they would stop shunning ex-members if the Governing Body would tell them it was a matter of conscience and no one would suffer retaliation if he would decide to have normal social dealings with ex-members. I risk saying the vast majority would stop shunning. And that would clearly demonstrate that Jehovah's Witnesses do not shun as an expression of their free will, but rather, they take that extremist behavior in obedience to organizationally directed shunning.
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  205

  Hi Everyone. Answer to prayer countdown...

  by Stumpy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been lurking for about 3 months now and thought i'd better finally sign up.

  you have all been an immense help to me as i have come to realize that this isn't the truth so i want to say a great big thank you!

  what a crazy, emotional ride it is to finally face the truth about the doubts that i have carried for many years.

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  EdenOne

  Stumpy, great news and awesome to hear from you!

  Wish you two the happiest possible life. Well done.
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  66

  Huffington Post: When Is A Religion 'Extremist'? [Food for thought!]

  by AndersonsInfo in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/when-is-a-religion-extremist_us_590de8e3e4b046ea176aeb98.

  tim rymel, m.ed.. governments who support “religious freedom” over the equal human rights and dignity of others condone, and even endorse discrimination.. 05/06/2017 11:27 am et | photo – flickr/ justin kern .

  government endorsement of any religious ideology creates religious extremism.

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  EdenOne

  Steve 2 - Yet, in terms of actual behaviour, JWs do not advocate or carry out any part of this 'destruction'. Is that an extremist belief though? Yes. Does it lead to extremist behaviour? No.

  Simon - A christian practicing their beliefs is usually a normal, functioning member of society. A muslim actually practicing their religions beliefs is a psychotic killer.

  When one considers that, in obedience to the Watchtwer's teachings, most Jehovah's Witnesses treat ex-members as though they are dead men walking, waiting to be destroyed in the Armageddon, I would argue that such BEHAVIOR is worthy of being classified as "extremist". They "kill" family members and friends by cutting them from their lives and treating them as if they were dead. That behavior is psychological violence.
  
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  6

  Jehovah's Witnesses get support from .... the Catholic Church?

  by EdenOne in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  in this article on newsweek:.

  http://www.newsweek.com/jehovahs-witnesses-ban-russia-catholic-593082.

  catholics are concerned about their religion being discriminated as well in russia.

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  EdenOne

  In this article on Newsweek:

  http://www.newsweek.com/jehovahs-witnesses-ban-russia-catholic-593082

  Catholics are concerned about their religion being discriminated as well in Russia. Birds of a feather....
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  51

  NEWSWEEK: After Ban, Jehovah’s Witnesses in Russia Harassed by Police During Religious Services

  by AndersonsInfo in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  http://www.newsweek.com/jehovahs-witnesses-russia-ban-police-589791.

  after ban, jehovah’s witnesses in russia harassed by police during religious services.

  by jason le miere on 4/25/17 at 4:48 pm .

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  EdenOne

  The ban in Russia is a god send for the WT leadership because it totally diverts the unwanted attention of the flock to the ARC and allows them to play on a familiar territory: play the persecution card, act victim-like, display martyrs. And then they will bundle the ARC conclusions with the Russian ban as if they were all part of persecution from satan-controlled authorities and claim the end is near .... what else is new in this strategy?