This was the
situation that was used in my wife and I getting married. She wrote a letter
based on what her unbelieving mate said to her while they were split up and
based on the letter and the divorce being finalized, she was free to marry me.
That was ten years ago for us. Think about all the child abuse cases in the
passed 10 years that were said not to have had a 2nd witness so hey
nothing we can do about it at this time…in fact think about all the child abuse
cases in the passed 38 years that were said not to have had a 2nd
witness so hey nothing we can do about it at this time…
[10-1-77 WT
Questions from Readers
• My unbelieving husband admitted to me that he has another woman.
Is his admission sufficient ground for a Scriptural divorce?
In some cases if a Christian’s unbelieving mate admits to
committing immorality, that would provide a Scriptural basis for a divorce,
which, in turn, would free the innocent Christian for remarriage if desired.
Jehovah God’s law to the ancient nation of Israel made provision
for divorce on various grounds. (Deut. 24:1, 2) Adultery, homosexuality and
bestiality were bases for ending a marriage; the guilty person was to be
executed. (Deut. 22:22-24; Lev. 18:22, 23) However, the Law set forth this
important requirement: “At the mouth of two witnesses or of three witnesses the
one dying should be put to death. He will not be put to death at the mouth of
one witness.” (Deut. 17:6; 19:15; Num. 35:30) Being a “lover of righteousness
and justice,” Jehovah required that such matters be determined on the basis of
proof, of witnesses, not merely suspicion. (Ps. 33:5) This, of course, was
stated as regards applying the death penalty, not as regards a divorce action.
Another situation dealt with in the Law also illustrates the
importance of proof. What was a man to do if he suspected that his wife had
committed adultery but she denied it and there were no witnesses? God’s law
outlined a step that could be taken, but it was a drastic one that could have
lasting effects for the wife if she was guilty or for the husband if she was
innocent. She could be brought before the priest and made to share in a
prescribed procedure involving drinking some special water. If she was guilty,
she would experience the divine punishment of her ‘thigh falling away,’ apparently
meaning that her sexual parts would atrophy and she would lose her ability to
conceive. (Num. 5:12-31) Evidently in such cases the adulterous wife, though
receiving this extraordinary punishment from God, because she denied guilt and
there were not the required two witnesses, was not executed.
What is the situation today in the Christian congregation? Is it
possible to obtain substantial testimony as to the grounds for a Scriptural
divorce?
Jesus himself stated that for his followers the only ground for divorce,
such as would free a person for remarriage, is if one’s mate commits porneia,
gross sexual immorality. (Matt. 19:9) Would there be sufficient ground for
divorce if a Christian wife merely suspected that her husband was guilty
of adultery? No, for the Christian Greek Scriptures carry forward the principle
of a matter’s being established by two or three witnesses, as a balanced sense
of justice requires. (John 8:17, 18; 1 Tim. 5:19; Heb. 10:28) So, if a wife
merely suspected her husband of adultery, but he denied it
and there were no witnesses to confirm it,
she would not have sufficient basis for establishing with the Christian
congregation that she had a right to divorce him and thus be free to remarry.
In some cases, though, an unbelieving mate admits to being
immoral. A husband, for instance, might even boast of it to his wife as a taunt
to hurt her. She might choose to overlook his waywardness. But what if she
feels she cannot or should not? Is his confession enough proof?
In this situation it is not as if he professes innocence or
adamantly denies being guilty of adultery. Rather, he admits it to her, though
for the sake of his reputation he might not be willing to own up to it in a
court of law or before other persons. What can the wife do?
Since she is part of the clean Christian congregation, she should
realize the importance of handling the matter properly so that, after divorcing
him, if she later remarried there would be no question about her keeping ‘the
marriage bed without defilement.’ (Heb. 13:4) To that end she could give the
elders representing the congregation a letter outlining her situation, stating
that her unbelieving husband confessed to her that he had committed immorality.
And she could state that in accord with Matthew 19:9 she wishes to put him
away, obtaining a legal divorce and thus ending the marriage Scripturally and
legally.
The elders would consider whether there is any known reason to
conclude other than that the unbelieving mate had been immoral. If not, they
could accept her signed statement.
‘But,’ someone might say, ‘is it not possible to submit a
deceptive, untruthful statement, saying that her husband confessed immorality
when he actually never said that?’ Actually, it would be gross deception for
anyone to try that. David once prayed: “You have examined my heart, you have
made inspection by night, you have refined me; you will discover that I have
not schemed.” (Ps. 17:3) Conversely, Jehovah is well aware when someone does
scheme and He will make sure that the person does not lastingly succeed. Hence,
if a Christian woman goes on record as stating that her husband has admitted
immorality, Jehovah knows the facts. As the Bible says: “There is not a
creation that is not manifest to his sight, but all things are naked and openly
exposed to the eyes of him with whom we have an accounting.”—Heb. 4:13; Prov.
5:21; Jer. 16:17.
So if there is no reason to doubt the wife’s statement, the
congregation elders can leave the matter between her and Jehovah. In that case
she would have to bear before God the responsibility as to the actuality of her
husband’s immoral course, which would be the Scriptural basis for ending the
marriage even if the legal divorce were obtained on some other ground.]
