Posts by Gojira

31

I'm somewhat back again

by Gojira_101 in

jw
friends

i had to take a break from jwn here because after all the drama that unfolded over a certain new anti-wt organization i had to back off because i had unbearable emotions and "flashbacks" to being a jw and being bullied.

even though i didn't experience any direct bullying, seeing it happen caused all the negative emotions to come back because i felt like i was back at the kingdom hall.

so i just left for awhile.. i've been having to do a lot of soul searching lately and reevaluating my life.

Gojira_101

To answer a few of the comments. I do have to prove something. I have to prove to myself that I can stand up against WT and not let them bully me anymore. Plus no one on here knows me, you only see a small part of who I am as a person from my posts on here. Several said things like consequences, this could hurt me more....etc. WT took 29 years of my life serving them when I thought I was serving God. WT took the children I could have had (Husband and I can't have kids of our own), they took my identity when I was born and only now is my real self coming out, WT took my family and friends....let me ask you, what more can they do to hurt me? Please someone answer me, what more can they do to me? I will listen to any comments or explanations of how they can hurt me more. Can they kill me? That's about all that's left they can do to me. Am I missing something more they can do to me? DF'ing does not scare me. Gojira

31

I'm somewhat back again

by Gojira_101 in

jw
friends

i had to take a break from jwn here because after all the drama that unfolded over a certain new anti-wt organization i had to back off because i had unbearable emotions and "flashbacks" to being a jw and being bullied.

even though i didn't experience any direct bullying, seeing it happen caused all the negative emotions to come back because i felt like i was back at the kingdom hall.

so i just left for awhile.. i've been having to do a lot of soul searching lately and reevaluating my life.

Gojira_101

wasblind one of my favorite songs. Thanks

43

Fading ... and Feeling Lost

by What Now? in

prior to that we had been in a new congregation for about 9 months, and we were just irregular.

my husband rarely went, and i would go occasionally with our toddler son just enough to show our faces and keep the elders off our backs, and for the sake of some friendships in our old hall.

all of the reasons i had for going were just no longer important.

Gojira_101

What now. I really do understand what you are going through. My husband and I had the same feelings when we were about 3 months out. It's so hard for those of us to leave because we are always taught...drilled is more like it about the "bad association" with worldly people. It's very hard, I was feeling the same way because all of my friends were JW's and I would get invited to go to community events, but most of the time I was scared to go. Now almost 9 months out it's way better. We are going to dinner with our non-JW friends and hanging out this them and community events still scare me most of the time still but I can force myself to go. It will get better. You will make friends. You have to start your life over and at times it does feel kind of desperate and lonely, but be thankful you have a kid with another one on the way and that you have your husband.

It WILL get better!

Gojira

31

I'm somewhat back again

by Gojira_101 in

jw
friends

i had to take a break from jwn here because after all the drama that unfolded over a certain new anti-wt organization i had to back off because i had unbearable emotions and "flashbacks" to being a jw and being bullied.

even though i didn't experience any direct bullying, seeing it happen caused all the negative emotions to come back because i felt like i was back at the kingdom hall.

so i just left for awhile.. i've been having to do a lot of soul searching lately and reevaluating my life.

Gojira_101

I had to take a break from JWn here because after all the drama that unfolded over a certain new anti-Wt organization I had to back off because I had unbearable emotions and "flashbacks" to being a JW and being bullied. Even though I didn't experience any direct bullying, seeing it happen caused all the negative emotions to come back because I felt like I was back at the Kingdom Hall. So I just left for awhile.

I've been having to do a lot of soul searching lately and reevaluating my life. It's been hard the last few months for me emotionally, but I think I'm finally coming to accept where I am in my life right now.

I had a melt down about 2 weeks ago and wrote a letter to my grandma (I didn't send it), but I got out all the feelings I was having because I felt like I was being consumed by the fact my family is shunning me. I still feel that WBTS and the JW's have control over me and I hate it! So I've started to make a plan. I haven't been to a meeting or FS since last October and I'll be inactive 9 months on July 1st. July 23rd will be my 30th birthday and also my 1st birthday. Mentally I'm out of WT and I'm never going back, but a part of me still feels like they have control over me because I have to be careful to not reveal too much about myself or double check to make sure I'm not signing my real name...I hate it! I'm not this kind of person. I hate lying and decieving, I hate hidding! So I've given this a lot of serious thought and I'm going to do it! I'm going to make a video and put it on YouTube and tell the world who I am. Yes Wt can DF me, what more can they do to me, oh my family can start shunning me...oh wait they are already doing that! I talked it over with my parents because they could be outed too and I talked to my husband about it because if any of his family sees me they will know he is with me on this. I love my husband so much because he said "I've already df them, them, so do waht you have to." So I'm going to do it, now I'm just figuring out what to say hahahaha. I'm going to do this because this is facing my fears and taking back my life from WT fully. I have to be true to myself and the person I am becoming now! I refuse to let WT influence or control me anymore. I am taking back my life fully!

I just wanted to share this with someone.

Gojira

77

I have said it before

by mouthy in

jw
friends

this time i mean it.. thanks for all the ones that love me .

i am getting off the site after all these years.. anghard & simon .

but of late.

Gojira_101

Nice to see you again Grace! I had to take a break from JWN to, it was just a nightmare and brought back a lot of the feelings of being bullied as a JW. I understand why you left. I hope you are doing well. I'm going to be coming out soon and revealing my id, so please look me up if you want. I'd love to stay in contact with you.

Peace.

Gojira

77

I just informed the parents about me and the TTATT... heart wrenching

by sosoconfused in

well first i want to thank everyone here for the good points etc... i have received over the last few months.

you guys have really been helpful!.

so the other day my mother wrote me a 3 page letter telling me how she was so scared for me because she could tell my love for the truth was gone etc.. so i decided i wanted to totally rip the band-aid off and get this matter over and done with.

Gojira_101

Bravo!!!!!!!! Good for you!

62

Should I just DA or get DFD?

by Julia Orwell in

jw
friends

my never-a-jw dad told me today that mongrel jws who turn on me were never truly my friends and i'm better off without them, so why worry if i get disfellowshiped?.

i fear being disfellowshiped because my name will be dragged through the mud.

i also think it might be a good idea to da or get dfd because then the link is broken and the fade is over.

Gojira_101

No matter if you are DF, write a DA or just fade, it will be the same reaction by the JW's. They will deliberately cross to the other side of the street to avoid you. They will turn their head and look the other way as if you aren't even there when you meet in the food market.

If there is a chance to help your husband to see how they treat their own members...let them DF you. You have already said your husband was shocked by how they treated you at this recent visit, so if you end up being DF'd this will show him how heartless and cruel they really are. He might be able to see their true colors.

I'm here for ya sis :)

Gojira

71

My JW best friend is bringing a 'heavy' around to my house to talk some sense into me.

by Julia Orwell in

jw
friends

i agreed, if only because i want to see my friend of many years.

the 'heavy' is a large, imposing man with a booming voice and is a creature of the gb through and thru (eg only visited his dfd dad on his death bed because it was a 'good witness' to the hospital staff) and i'm feeling stressed about seeing him.

i so badly wanted to see my friend though, i agreed without thinking and now wish i hadn't have.

Gojira_101

Oh Julia! I'm so sorry you had to go through that! This is what they are like though, they come to you as a friend but end up stabbing you in the back and throwing you to the wolves. This is exactly what happened to me and others on here.

You're dad is right! And if you need him, go to him, go to your family. You are very fortunate to have them and your husband. I know how hard it is to go through this, but if you can just cut all ties with them. They are only your friend as long as you are a good JW. As long as you are around them or talk to them, they will continue to hurt you like this. I never met you in person but over the last few months I can tell you are a kind and caring person with a heart. You are too good for them! I can see that the more they try to help you, they really are pushing you out. I know it's hard but let them push you out. Start a new life with your hubby.

I'm going to be sending a private message.

Gojira

2

WT should learn from this- "The importance of Mistakes"

by Gojira_101 in

jw
friends

i was interpreting a class the other day and the instructor brought in a dvd of john cleese (guy from monty python) giving a speech on "the importance of mistakes" here is the link to an excerpt from his speech http://my.ilstu.edu/~eostewa/art309/mistakes.htm.

i did a quick search to see if i could find the full speech or the video online and i wasn't able to.. basically cleese was saying all people make mistakes, but his main point was it's how we handle the mistakes.

if we admit our mistakes we can then deal with it, handle it and move on.

Gojira_101

I was interpreting a class the other day and the instructor brought in a DVD of John Cleese (guy from Monty Python) giving a speech on "The Importance of Mistakes" Here is the link to an excerpt from his speech http://my.ilstu.edu/~eostewa/ART309/Mistakes.htm. I did a quick search to see if I could find the full speech or the video online and I wasn't able to.

Basically Cleese was saying all people make mistakes, but his main point was it's how we handle the mistakes. If we admit our mistakes we can then deal with it, handle it and move on. If we don't admit a mistake has happened, we then have to lie, then one lie leads to another and another and so on. Then we have to keep a secret about our secret, about our secret...etc. Anyway that was basically Cleese's point.

While I'm watching this it got me to thinking about WTBT$. Yes we all know they lied about everything right from the beginning and now the GB is trying to "fix" the mistakes of the past, but it's just leading to more problems. How much easier it would be for WT just to admit they have been wrong, and then deal with the mistakes? I'm not saying if WTBT$ finally admitted they are wrong would I ever go back to them, and I am in no way supporting them. It's the whole one lie leads to another lie and so-on and now finally there are so many lies WT can't even keep them straight.

It was an interesting speech and I thought what Cleese said was enlightening.

I personally think WTBT$ is beyond the point of no return with their lies, even now if they came clean it would do no good, because everything is in print, and then if they finally admitted their mistakes, they would lose even more members than what they are losing right now.

Gojira

53

Forum Policy: Off Topic Comments and Nonsense

by Simon in

some people didn't seem to get the message so i'll repeat it to make clear:.

posting off topics comments and general gibberish / nonsense is something i class as spam and will not be tolerated.. any posts found will be removed and if it's repeatedly by the same poster then they will be deleted as well.. thank you for everyone else who uses the forum for proper discussion..

Gojira_101

Ah man, if the Whanker brothers get kicked off I'm leaving! LOL. Where will I see my daily laugh-fest?

Gojira_101

Posts by Gojira_101