I just informed the parents about me and the TTATT... heart wrenching

by sosoconfused 77 Replies latest jw experiences

  • sosoconfused
    sosoconfused

    Well first I want to thank everyone here for the good points etc... i have received over the last few months. You guys have really been helpful!

    So the other day my mother wrote me a 3 page letter telling me how she was so scared for me because she could tell my love for the truth was gone etc.. so i decided I wanted to totally rip the band-aid off and get this matter over and done with. I love my parents - I could give two craps about anyone else in the "borg" - so this was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. My parents are in there 60's and 70's - father an elder for years... mother a reg pio for 30+ years. 3 generations deep. This was one hell of a thing to do for me.

    As we sat in the living room with this weird awkwardness my mother simply says, "Do you still think that Jehovah is using this organization as his only people????" She literally had this look of deep sadness in her eyes.... I almost wanted to lie! I looked at my dad and he was just staring at the floor. I thought to myself that I could lie and say yes and that I just had some things to work out... but all that would do is drag this process out longer and in turn there would be more hiding. I AM DONE HIDING! I AM DONE BEING SOMETHING I AM NOT. I simply said, "No, I no longer believe it and I have not for a long time." There was awkward silence for about 30 seconds.

    I then said I can't follow people who lie to me - I refuse. My father said, "They have never lied to us ever. DON'T SAY THAT" We went into the 1975 thing. THey both lived through it and regurgitated the statement that the friends ran ahead. I was prepared with my "BINDER OF TRUTH" that shows that they indeed make statments that led the friends in that direction. It didn't matter. The brainwashing was so thick that it was almost painful to discuss anything. The circular reasoning was frustrating - but their ridiculous cultish responses made me ever more sure that this is truly a dangerous religion to belong to.

    I showed her a statement from a 1984 magazine, she said, "Do you have any idea how old that is??? 1984???" We have had so much nerw light since then". I asked her if that bothers her... afterall the bible is 2 thousand years old and there is no new light. SHe got mad and then left. My dad was far more upset - but he "accepts" my decision although he doesn't respect it. His words not mine...

    However there was one point that hit both of them like a ton of bricks, the same point that hurts me. I said, "If the bible says one thing and the society says the complete opposite would you trust the bible or the society. They both said obviously the bible. sooooo I said, The bible says that Jesus is the mediator for all - yet the society says something else. My mother said I was telling a bold -facedlie and if I was going to lie we can't talk. So I told her if I show you this in print what would you do? She responds, "There is no way that my brothers would say such a thing".

    I showed her - she left the house - never came back in.

    Me and my dad talked for a bit, he was mad but then said, "Lets not let this mess up our relationship..." That was the best thing I could have heard. He went on to say that he wasn't going to tell anyone about this as long as I don't go around misleading anyone. We laughed and then made arrangements for fishing on Saturday.

    My mother sat in the car reading the article in the hot Florida heat with the windows up refusing to talk to either of us...

    What comes of this who knows. One thing I will say is that a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can move forward easily now.

    I truly want to thank all of you for your assistance these last few months - for all the insight, encouragement and fun.

    - sosoconfused

  • cofty
    cofty

    That must have taken a lot of courage to be so honest with them. Well done.

    Lets not let this mess up our relationship...

    That sounds hopeful.

  • ?evrything
    ?evrything

    I also have to do tht before the end of the year. Born in and im 25. Elder and pioneer parents. Gonna suck. Thanks for the insight.

  • Oubliette
    Oubliette

    Kudos to your dad.

    Let us know how the fishing trip goes!

  • DATA-DOG
    DATA-DOG

    WOW... You dad seems cool. That was really brave.

  • sosoconfused
    sosoconfused

    Thanks guys, I am hoping for the best. My dad previously complained that since her retirment all she does is hound him about service. He says he hates service and he is tired of it but would never tell her that LOL. He fakes going out in service and goes to my sisters home for a few hours and will drink beer and watch her kids. He is 74 freaking years old and is unhappy with his life, but at the same time he keeps up with the org because as he said "what else do I have".

    In regards to courage... I must say I was scared at first but there comes a time when you just have to get it over with. They threw all kinds of buzzwords and scriptures at me but you begin to realize its just a bunch of crap they were feed over the years and they have no other way of defending themselves.

  • humbled
    humbled

    I'm glad you got it out there. I'm glad your dad can see at least the "mediator" thing is wrong. I'm glad he isn't going to ditch you over this. And maybe your mom can soften..

    It shouldn't be like this but it's great that you can be real now.

  • FadeToBlack
    FadeToBlack

    Excellent. The truth is the truth, right? It might hurt, but in the end, you have to be able to live with yourself. I think your post will inspire more of the lurkers to get off the fence. Thanks for being brave.

  • blondie
    blondie

    Good to hear that you did make a point using the mediator doctrine. The WTS uses 1 Tim. 2:5 both ways, mediator for prayers (for all ), mediator of covenant (not mentioned in verse) for some. 1979 and 1989 QFR and most jws don't or won't get it. May they care more for you than their illusions.

    As to being too old to change, it's only too late when you are dead.

    Blondie

  • gma-tired2
    gma-tired2

    It is hard to accept that all the things we were taught and believed for over 60 years were lies. Let her think on these things for a while. Maybe she will soften her stance even if she doesn't leave the org. Your dad has doubts that he has never faced.

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