Should I just DA or get DFD?

Julia Orwell

My never-a-JW dad told me today that mongrel JWs who turn on me were never truly my friends and I'm better off without them, so why worry if I get disfellowshiped?

I fear being disfellowshiped because my name will be dragged through the mud. I also think it might be a good idea to DA or get dfd because then the link is broken and the fade is over. I say this because the CO found out when he visited another cong last week I was good friends with a member, and so he went to the friend's house and put him up to coming to my house to 'encourage' me. What ended up happening was a huge argument with my 'best' friend, an old pioneer brother who's been as close to me as family since I was 19. I couldn't steer him onto normal things we talk about like pets and friends and books and that, because he was hell bent on 'converting' me back to the fold. I doubt we can be friends again if that's going to be our dynamic. I mean, this guy used to be in the same congregation as a current member of the GB, was converted by a missionary in the heady days before 1975, been baptised 40 years, loooooooooooooooves pioneering- has nothing in his life but the Org.

Maybe just to get people to leave me alone - friends from my previous cong call (none from my last one from which I just faded) yes, but always with the motive of 'encouraging' me, which just makes me so stressed I bite my nails, take medication, and punch the wall and lose sleep. I don't need this. DA or DF seems to be such a nice alternative. DF especially, because my husband will see just how mean they are! Final nail in the coffin of his [now inactive] JW life.

To sleep...perchance to dream... (Hamlet)

lost

I guess you got to ask yourself, how much pain do you want to inflict onyourself Julia.

Your a successful educated intelligent self-sufficeint woman.

Are you into 'self-flagellation' ?

Do you want to drag it out, or cut it out ?

In your heart, you know, follow your heart, we are all heading to the grave, it's only a matter of time.

Time is precious.

x

Julia Orwell

I'm a 'cut it out' type of person- always been somewhat decisive. I'll sleep on it and see. It's probably just a matter of time, like you said in my other post, because I walked into their trap.

AnnOMaly

DA? DF? Makes no difference to what people will think. The announcement is the same: "Julia Orwell is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses." Whether you jumped or were pushed, you have left 'Jehovah's Organization' and, coupled with the gossip that will then fly around about how cranky/adversarial/critical/neurotic you were when some of the Friends tried to help you, you'll still be a pariah.

Yes, sleep on it. I wouldn't do anything. Live your life. If they want to action something, let them and leave you out of it. Try not to let them push your buttons again (hard, I know, when you're caught off guard).

Designer Stubble

DA - "You can't fire me, I quit!" Huge number of examples available that allow you one last opportunity to show them where they are wrong, but even if it doesn't hit them - it contributes to closure.

Lozhasleft

The DFing or DAing issue is about playing by their rules. Do what's best for you, but if I could live it over again I wouldn't play by their rules at all. I'd continue the fade and make it very difficult for them to get anywhere near me. Just my opinion.

Loz x

punkofnice

I fear being disfellowshiped because my name will be dragged through the mud.

It will anyway. Even if you're an uber dub there'll be gossip. The snobby type jws have nothing better to talk about.

I refused to meet with those wazzock elders and the DA'd me in absentia..............and I don't give a monkeys because I didn't meet with them, I didn't write to them so I gave them no authority over me ultimately.

Take no action Julia me ol' mucker. Take time out and breathe. I see you're a lot like me in as much as you want immediate action and results.

So take advice that I won't listen to myself and just let the WBT$ do it's own spitting and spattting as you walk casually by ignoring it.

Let them run around, let them gossip, let them expend negative energy. Ignore letters from the elders.

................................if you want to that is!

1. You could DA and draw an immediate line under it (playing by THEIR cult rules)

2. You can just stay away and accept no further visits and let them do whatever they want (dickheads)

if anyone else comes round he'll tell them to go away.

Then if that were me (and it aint), let it be so.

Don't approach them, don't write to them and keep the flip away from the buggers.

Where possible live your life free of them as if they don't exist. They hate that.

Just carry on with life and DF THEM!

Should I just DA or get DFD?

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