We are truly sorry for your loss Still Totally ADD. Doesn't matter how old or what shape they were in it still hurts. Your never prepared for that feeling of never seeing them again. When my mother had died there was a flood of emotions that still haunt me today. So many questions I wished I could have asked like why? Why didn't she leave when her very own relatives out west wanted to take her back and they would have helped her with the kids. I never met any of mom's relatives or the old man's since none of them were jws.
You carry this loneliness with you for the rest of your life when they are gone or from the time you left the cult. Worse than self isolation. Someone asked me the other day how I was dealing with it and I had to be honest and say I don't know any difference in my life before the covid or after. No family. No friends. Just acquaintances.
I hope you are not alone and have someone with you. Again, sorry that your mother passed away.