I suffered tremendous guilt for years( I'm uptight by nature). It got worse when I was an elder. When other people confessed their sins, I'd always think about mine. Talk about bein' in the proverbial Freud-factory! I'm glad I don't care about their rules anymore.
voltaire
JoinedPosts by voltaire
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59
Guilt over Self-Pleasuring as a Dub. You?
by Lari ini'm wondering if any of you suffered major guilt over getting yourself off while a dub.
or did you all manage to abstain until you left?
i know it was one of the main reasons i left.
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Elders told: Watch for the signs!
by ozziepost infrom the audio of the kms posted by kent the other day, it's enlightening to listen to the talk on the inactive.
watch for the tell-tale signs the elders are to look for in the notes that follow:.
congregation book study overseers assisting the inactive.
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voltaire
Right on Ozziepost! They never allow for the posibility that someone might simply disagree with the society. Of course, it would do no good to list the following as possible reasons for discouragement
Endeavor to use discernment as to what caused this:
1) Elder cornholed publisher's kid for 10 years.
2) GB jacked everyone around for so many years with one date after another.
3) Publisher despondent because he wasted his life cleaning toilets instead of going to school
4) Constantly asked to do more even though they were doing more than they could have been reasonably asked to do in the first place
5) Publisher found out Rutherford was a drunk and Russell never had sex with his own wife
6) Publisher now knows that if you cut out all of the misqoutes in the Creation book you're left with about 6 pages. -
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Mother, wife, myself, DA'ing ourselves
by ashitaka inwell, i've finally had it.
i'm da'ing myself, along with a piece of my fam.
the unbaptised ones are refusing to go with my father now, and even my still devout father is leaning towards our opinion on things.. there wasn't even any screaming when i called the jw's the great hypocrisy last nite.. i just can allow myself to be associated with them in any way.
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voltaire
Good luck! I'll be joining you soon.
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WT Policy- What needs to change?
by silentlambs in1.report matter to the police first.. what does the watchtower say?
note the 97 wt on direction for reporting what is bad:.
w97 8/15 26-30 why report what is bad?.
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voltaire
The primary obstacle is pride. the WT never admits it is wrong. It will admit that it WAS wrong, but now the situation is corrected. Good work Bill! Keep up the pressure. This is a marathon, not a sprint. I fervently hope that the WT will eventually become a transparent organization that views itself as accountable to its members and the law. This (the pedophile issue) is obviously the place to draw the line in the sand. I always read your posts (I think we all do) but rarely reply. I thought I should give a word of encouragement.
Ron
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Will JW's Emulate Catholics?
by Kenneson innews article in today's paper is entitled "credit catholics for cleaning house" by stanley crouch (new york daily news).
"somehow in our nation we are almost always called upon to lead the way when it comes to things of human concern.. "that is why, after all these years of the catholic church's hiding behind cathedral doors, miters and robes, we should be glad that boston's cardinal bernard law has ignored the dictates of rome and called on his clergy to report to the police all the charges of sexual abuse of children by priests..............."
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voltaire
The main difference between Catholics and JWs is that now Catholics are doing something constructive about the problem. Remember how the WT always used to say that Christendom is more reprehensible than the rest of Babylon The Great because she claims to be Christian? The shoe's on the other foot now. I think the JWs are more reprehensible because, while all groups are facing the same problem, they're the ones who bash everyone else while claiming to have solved all such problems in their brotherhood. Or, as Jesus told the Pharisees, (As best I can remember) "If you had recognized your blindness you would have no sin, but now that you say we see, you sin remains"
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I'm talking to an elder this saturday.
by voltaire ini've finally gotten up the nerve to make a clean break.
this saturday at 3:00, i'm having lunch with an elder.
(those latins eat so late!
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voltaire
Beans,
Can we compromise and just go to Hooter's?
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I'm talking to an elder this saturday.
by voltaire ini've finally gotten up the nerve to make a clean break.
this saturday at 3:00, i'm having lunch with an elder.
(those latins eat so late!
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voltaire
I don't want a lawyer because I don't want to prevent my being disfellowshipped. That's also why i'm going to be very careful when I say "After having read Ray Franz's book and talked at length with other former witnesses online, I don't think it's the truth." I suppose I'll be DF for that.
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I'm talking to an elder this saturday.
by voltaire ini've finally gotten up the nerve to make a clean break.
this saturday at 3:00, i'm having lunch with an elder.
(those latins eat so late!
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voltaire
As always, thanks for the interesting replies.
ThiChi- My wife and I have been round and round for three years, although I've never mentioned anything "apostate". She's a real toe-the-party-line-woman. It's unbelievable. My not believing in the WT has been a real wedge in our marriage. I just don't feel much for her anymore. She sometimes cries when I say things negative about the organization. I quit talking about it 6 months ago. There's no point.
Nazereth- I'm not totally sure I understand your points, but I agree that involvment with another woman will confuse things and just give them excuses to bash me and write me off as weak, rather than someone taking a principled stand. I felt myself very attracted to a particular woman, but we talked and that's on hold. I'll get back to that later, I hope, but for now one thing at a time.
David Gladden- I don't care if they slander me, or do anything else, so I don't feel I need a lawyer. I'm leaving...hell, Ive been gone for months. They can do what they want.
JT- If I weren't married, I'd not bother. I'd go about my business. Being married makes this tough. My wife won't budge. To be perfectly honest, I think I need to take my stand and be DFed. My father (not A JW) will understand why the marriage is over. Deep down I think my mother and my wife's parents will understand, too.(they're witnesses)even if they don't, I'll feel satisfied that I am justified in getting a divorce. In a sense, I'm tired of the pretending to be married, my wife can show that's she with me or against me.
Marilyn-I won't say a word. It's not an issue, because the divorce is something that has to happen. I realize I got a bit caught up in the emotion of it all. I'm in a very vulnerable state now, I hang out with my own circle of friends, so I run into women all the time. I'm going to take care of this first and worry about women later.
out4good3-I don't really feel the elders can dictate any terms, I just want them to leave me alone. They'll leave me alone when they see how I feel. That will make me happy.
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I'm talking to an elder this saturday.
by voltaire ini've finally gotten up the nerve to make a clean break.
this saturday at 3:00, i'm having lunch with an elder.
(those latins eat so late!
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voltaire
I've finally gotten up the nerve to make a clean break. This saturday at 3:00, I'm having lunch with an elder. (those latins eat so late! Who has lunch at 3:00? Oh well) I'm going to tell him that I don't think it's the truth. I am so fed up with pretending. I've been racking my brain for 4 years, trying to make sense of things, and it just don't add up. I basically want to be disfellowshipped. That may sound strange to you folks, especially the fade-awayers. Since my wife is a JW, I can't move away. This will be the end of my marriage, there's no way I want to be married to someone who thinks the way they do. It would be no fun having a mate with an entirely separate set of friends. At this point I want to have a family, but without children who think their father is going to be killed by god.
I posted earlier about having met a girl from Ecuador, and how that really stirred up a lot of feelings. i appreciate the advice to back off and do one thing at a time. Very practical. I need to finish this, let a little time pass, and then I can explore other options. It's hard to think when your emotions are churned up like that. But the experience was useful. It made me realize that there are people I could actually be happy with. whether it's this woman or another isn't the point. I feel like I have a chance to be happy again, so I'm a little excited, and nervous, of course.
I've opened a bank account and gotten a new credit card in my own name. I've check out apartments, too. So, I think I'm really going to do it. Wish me luck!
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Well, I'm DA'd Now! :)
by rem inmy judicial meeting took place on monday night.
i was a bit annoyed because the meeting centered on my private beliefs - things that i've already spoken to the elders about in the past many times before.
i don't think i handled myself as well as i wanted to, but i guess i did ok under the circumstances.
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voltaire
good luck. I'm sure that took a lot of courage.