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  62

  Please vote on new cookbook cover - UPDATED - 6 COVERS

  by Lady Lee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  thanks to simon and his nifty new image attachments i got these ready.

  please let me know which one you prefer.

  and i have already made matching banner ads for the site (saves simon having to do it.

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  waiting

  I like the #1 variation - easy to read.
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  62

  Please vote on new cookbook cover - UPDATED - 6 COVERS

  by Lady Lee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  thanks to simon and his nifty new image attachments i got these ready.

  please let me know which one you prefer.

  and i have already made matching banner ads for the site (saves simon having to do it.

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  waiting

  ELSEWHERE WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  My husband says so. Btw, that mag cover would make a GREAT POSTER! Well, not for me - but for my husband, eh? Merry Christmas.

  waiting

  ps: now I'll go back and read page 2 of the cookbook thread
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  98

  Repressed, Triggered and Recovered Memories

  by Big Tex in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  first of all, let me say that many, if not most, of my memories of abuse and early childhood were recovered.

  some people feel that this diminishes my experience, or in some way denies what happened.

  i suffered from major depression and was quite suicidal for 2 years before something happened to trigger my memories.

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  waiting

  Hey tex,

  Page 2, 'bout half way down - this thread. kgfreeperson (I have the hardest time remember that poster's name) They posted above that too.........but the second one is what I've quoted.

  Very fine example of how the average mind works with new information.

  waiting
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  40

  Memory - How it works

  by Lady Lee in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  many survivors have difficulty understanding the nature of memory, why we forget and what causes us to remember.

  we often doubt what we remember or others doubt what we say.

  we think we must be crazy to even have certain thoughtss.

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  waiting

  Thanks Lee,

  It was late last night - brain dead. Loftus indeed.

  A classic study of hers is usually cited to refute all repressed memory. The little boy who is supposedly lost in the mall, if my memory recalls that. Other students purposely told him false information, which he assimilated into his account. It shows how facts can be distorted - and it's true. Her study was directed at how normal memory works. She also stated that this experiment couldn't be repeated with traumatic memories because someone would have to be traumatized - which isn't ethical.

  Another point about the current academic teachings on memory: A psychologist (French? quite elderly now) was told as a child that he was kidnapped (with supporting details) - by his nanny? Anyway.............he was told the story so often that he firmly believed it - even had pictures in his mind of the event. He had conjured the memory for himself, with the help of others.

  When he was an older, highly educated adult, he found total proof that his memory was absolutely false. Thus providing evidence that "false memories" do exist.

  But both of these studies/events do NOT prove that repressed memory does NOT exist.....just that memory isn't infallible, ..................as all of us stated in the beginning.

  I think the popular thinking is ................if repressed memories aren't infallible, they doesn't exist - which is ignorant. If we took that line of thinking - then nothing would exist.

  And your previous post wasn't on a soapbox - it's called discussion. If someone doesn't want to read this - fine, don't. If they want to enter in - fine, but be prepared to share & discuss.

  Thank you very much for your continuing sharing, education and insight for me & others. I know I highly value it.

  waiting
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  57

  I just got off the phone with TeeJay

  by seven006 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  some here may have noticed that recently teejay and i got into it a little bit on a thread i started about the locking of threads.

  about two years ago teejay and i got into it a few times in other threads.

  as much as i thought teejay was an intelligent guy and i have always gotten a kick out of his sarcastic sense of humor i still thought he loved to stir things up and take a few unnecessary jabs at people simply for the sake of jabbing them and causing trouble.. teejay called me tonight.

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  waiting

  Okay people, I have talked to Teejay on the phone several times and I still think he's an ass -sp

  Welllllllllll, yeah, that's a given. So are a lot of people around here - including me. Some of the most sarcastic, humorous posters are a pain in the ass. Occasionally, any and all of the proceeding applies to moi also. Okay, more than occasionally - but not as often as tj.

  I'm glad tj & Dave got some good talking done - congratulations on surviving each other long enough to be able to smile & chat!

  AlanF & I had the opportunity to speak on the phone some time ago - I was soooooo nervous talking to The Big Dawg. He was sooooooooo nice! Not at all how he *can* post here

  Glad two of my favorite posters & people made friends.

  waiting
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  40

  Memory - How it works

  by Lady Lee in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  many survivors have difficulty understanding the nature of memory, why we forget and what causes us to remember.

  we often doubt what we remember or others doubt what we say.

  we think we must be crazy to even have certain thoughtss.

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  waiting

  No memory is 100% accurate because the purpose of memory is to build a world-view rather than to provide accurate facts. So, in order to remember anything, we have to weave it into our current understanding of the world. In the ed biz this is known as assimilation (we use new information/experience to strengthen, broaden, or deepen our current understanding. What we absolutely HATE to do is what's known as accommodate--change how we understand the world to accommodate new information/experience. That's where a lot of denial comes in, as Lady Lee points out. If I am to believe that a grandfather could rape a 3 or 4 year old child, I have to change what I believe about human experience and that is much too hard. So I deny your experience. I look for ways to bolster what I already believe. Much better to hurt you than to have to completely re-think how I view humans! I so wish people were better, don't you? -kgkingperson (or close to that)

  From your memory thread currently active. I think that's a great way to explain it for the most part. But there HAS been false accounts - and that's been proven. Kids and adults DO get even with others - even if no sexual abuse is involved. Kids DO lie. I'm not talking about little kids (serious, detailed accounts) - I'm talking about kids under 18 years old - still kids. So it's easier to use those accounts and dismiss all accounts of memory. Better safe (total dismissal) than be sorry (wrong). And better not to read too much about both sides of the argument. Names escape me now - but I've read the book by the psychologist who is predominately used by the False Memory Foundation. She is quoted in the psychology book I used in college last year. In supporting her view, the psych book gave the picture of an auto accident and how the witnesses to the accident can give different accounts of the accident by the wording of police - variances in the speed of the cars before the accident. Thus, somehow, proving that false memories occur. The professor & I took issue. I concurred that distortion of fact can - and does - occur........but the accident still happened. It was NOT a false memory, it just could/could not be accurate. The professor wasn't impressed. Go figure. Very complicated subject - memory.
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  40

  Memory - How it works

  by Lady Lee in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  many survivors have difficulty understanding the nature of memory, why we forget and what causes us to remember.

  we often doubt what we remember or others doubt what we say.

  we think we must be crazy to even have certain thoughtss.

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  waiting

  It is interesting that at least the survivors who've posted here & on other threads are so careful to consider the birth of the False Memory Foundation - and the teaching of false memory (which wasn't even in any medical books before the Foundation founded it - and they aren't medical professionals.)

  The people who caution us politely and carefully usually haven't done near the consideration of background for their cautions. But I thank them for the politeness.

  One time when I was new to the net - I read where psych student was wanting experiences of sexual abuse for his term paper. I responded - stating that most memories were remembered after I became an adult. He immediately dismissed me saying that all repressed memories were false - and all professionals knew this.

  That was it. I had no validity.

  Actually, it was quite cruel of him. But I learned to be more careful......and I continued to read all kinds of literature on memory.

  waiting
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  40

  Memory - How it works

  by Lady Lee in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  many survivors have difficulty understanding the nature of memory, why we forget and what causes us to remember.

  we often doubt what we remember or others doubt what we say.

  we think we must be crazy to even have certain thoughtss.

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  waiting

  Hello Lee,

  I am assuming that all the warnings get redundant?
• 
  40

  Memory - How it works

  by Lady Lee in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  many survivors have difficulty understanding the nature of memory, why we forget and what causes us to remember.

  we often doubt what we remember or others doubt what we say.

  we think we must be crazy to even have certain thoughtss.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  waiting

  Hello mizpah,

  Thanks for the warning - another one was given this morning by rem ----- and everytime a thread is posted about memory or repressed memory, a poster feels obligated to warn all others.

  To be honest? Anyone who has read both sides of the arguments on memory & repressed memory knows the arguments. I've done some of my reading..........have you?

  You do understand the different between memory - and therapists/doctors/parents/teachers who taint the memories of children (primarily in the 80's)? Even in adults while in therapy? Does this mean that there is no possibility of repressed memories in any person on earth......or that some forms of therapy interaction with sexual abuse survivors (or dealing with anyone in memory work) is unsuitable.

  " I have a clear memory of hearing about the bombing of Pearl Harbor in 1941. But since I was only six years old at the time, I'm really not sure whether this memory is a true one or one that was developed by listening to everyone's story about that Sunday morning. "

  One fact is certain - the bombing of Pearl Harbor DID happen. You were six - you were old enough to remember. You could also have absorbed other people's speaking of this event.

  But the fact remains - the bombing of Pearl Harbor DID happen.

  That's one of the over-riding themes in these threads - memory is not 100% accurate sometimes. There is this thread and a 4/5 page thread by Big Tex with many posts about accuracy (or lack thereof) in memory. Please take the time to read.

  waiting
• 
  98

  Repressed, Triggered and Recovered Memories

  by Big Tex in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  first of all, let me say that many, if not most, of my memories of abuse and early childhood were recovered.

  some people feel that this diminishes my experience, or in some way denies what happened.

  i suffered from major depression and was quite suicidal for 2 years before something happened to trigger my memories.

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• 

  waiting

  I just reread this thread - a lot of great insight & information. This is a great example of "assimilation" and accommodation" - I just didn't copy the poster's name. Sorry - and I added paragraphs. THANKS.

  "No memory is 100% accurate because the purpose of memory is to build a world-view rather than to provide accurate facts. So, in order to remember anything, we have to weave it into our current understanding of the world.

  In the ed biz this is known as assimilation (we use new information/experience to strengthen, broaden, or deepen our current understanding. What we absolutely HATE to do is what's known as accommodate--change how we understand the world to accommodate new information/experience. That's where a lot of denial comes in, as Lady Lee points out. If I am to believe that a grandfather could rape a 3 or 4 year old child, I have to change what I believe about human experience and that is much too hard. So I deny your experience. I look for ways to bolster what I already believe. Much better to hurt you than to have to completely re-think how I view humans! " (page 1 or 2)