Posts by wheelwithinwheel

15

a unique situation

by stuckinthemiddle in

jw
friends

i think i have a unique involvement with jws.

i'm not a baptized member.

my mother has been devout for over 20 years.

wheelwithinwheel

This may give you some insight into the dynamics of your described situation.

Your partner is disfellowshipped. That is why there will never be eye contact, hellos, or thank-you’s from a JW. The JW leadership’s interpretation of the Bible forbids their members from acknowledging him. In reality it is the pressure used to try to force a return to the cult. Because his father is a church elder, he and his wife get a free-pass on the ‘no speaking to rule’ and are entitled to tell your partner what he should do.

You sound like you’re doing well. Your partner sounds like a great person. You say his parents now avoid you like the plague. Good. Stop reaching out. You don’t need them to be a happy family and from what you say, you folks will live a better life having minimal contact. Establish some limits on what you allow them to do. Building the playhouse against your wishes was way out of bounds. If it really bothers you and they continue to intrude on your family values, you might want to think about dismantling it. Returning it will definitely send a message. Encourage the girls to continue enjoying the simple things in life. Love your mom. She sounds like a good person who has turned her life around. She unfortunately has done it with the help of a cult, but so what, she’s happy and feels fulfilled. She seems to be in a good place and may need the JW lifestyle to keep her there. Tell her you’re happy for her but that it’s just not for you. She will continue hoping and trying to convert you. Don’t get her hopes up unless you really want to join the cult. And be aware you can get sucked in. That’s exactly what your partner knows and is referring to when he talks about “tricks”.

As to the kids RESP, don’t expect help from your in-laws. JW’s leaders discourage higher learning and believe their kids need to become full-time JW door-knockers.

Without getting into a big discussion of your in-laws you need to be aware that their ultimate agenda is for you to conform to their concept of God pleasing….stop pot, get married, become a Bible-verse-quoting-JW and ultimately help to get their son undisfellowshipped and back in line.

Concentrate on those who love you and live your life to be happy. If the in-laws are avoiding you, even bashing you, don’t lose sleep over it. You’re not required to reach out to them. Establish boundaries and don’t be shy to let others politely know when they are attempting to cross them. Thank God that your partner is aware of their ‘tricks’. You can have a great life ahead of you without the JW religion.

Wheels

6

Did you miss the gala?

by wheelwithinwheel in

jw
friends

wheelwithinwheel

6

Did you miss the gala?

by wheelwithinwheel in

jw
friends

wheelwithinwheel

66

THE LINGERING SHADOW OF '75

by Terry in

none of you are old enough to have been there, i suspect.

i had been in prison two years as a jw conscientious objector when the exciting news about 1975 spread like wildfire.i was paroled from prison in 1969 and immediately began pioneering.

the pressures began mounting throughout the organization.

wheelwithinwheel

Dad was the congregation servant. Although we had no money (he painted our family car with a paint brush) he went out and purchased “Famine 1975” quoted in the Truth book and waved it from the podium every chance he got. Then he moved the family where the Society told him the need was great. In 1976 these events were quickly wiped from his hard-drive and when they were referred to, he would always say, “Never happened.”

The same thing will happen with the generation. Once David Splane lets go of his bone, everyone will say “Never happened.” Most members I talk to have already written it off.

But they’re staying.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0FI0BJeuKQ

22

The pyramids and rutherford.......

by atomant in

lve been researching the early days of the jw"s and found some very damning information which needs to be discussed at length.according to my research it is claimed that early founders used the pyramids to work out important biblical dates that are now dates set in stone according to the beliefs of the sect and can not be changed as it would rock the very foundation upon which their beliefs are built.l was hoping for somone with a precise understanding to please elaborate whether this is true or not.

wheelwithinwheel

from:

THE DIVINE PLAN OF THE AGES and the Corroborative Testimony of the GREAT PYRAMID in Egypt - God's Stone Witness and Prophet - Copyright Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society Brooklynn N.Y, U.S.A.

Page 42

That point marks the birth of our Lord Jesus as the "Well," 33 inches farther on, indicates his death So, then, if we measure backward down the "First Ascending Passage" to its junction with the " Entrance Passage," we shall have a fixed date to mark upon the downward passage. This measure is 1542 inches, and indicates the year B. C. 1542, as the date at that point. Then measuring down the " Entrance Passage" from that point, to find the distance to the entrance of the "Pit," representing the great trouble and destruction with which this age is to close, when evil will be overthrown from power, we find it to be 3457 inches, symbolizing 3457 years from the above date, B. c.1542. This calculation shows A. D. 1915 as marking the beginning of the period of trouble; for 1542 years B. c. plus 1915 years A. D. equals 3457 years. Thus the Pyramid witnesses that the close of 1914 will be the beginning of the time of trouble such as was not since there was a nation - no, nor ever shall be afterward. And thus it will be noted that this " Witness" fully corroborates the Bible testimony on this subject, as shown by the "Parallel Dispensations" in SCRIPTURE STU DIES VOL. 11.. Chap. vii.

121

Hey ya'll! My first post. Please help. In need of advice/comfort.

by Stepford Wife in

jw
friends

hey ya'll!

i have been lurking for years on this site and others but never had the courage to post anything.

actually i was afraid of posting on an apostate site in the event i was wrong.

wheelwithinwheel

Our experience: Wife became inactive. C.O visited with an elder from our congregation. I was not present. Wife was very careful with what she revealed, but C.O. got on the platform and gave a talk about her anyway. Singled her out as walking dead. I believe it was a marking talk. She learned about it from another sister and wrote him a letter telling him that talking about his impressions from a personal visit, on the platform, had discouraged her further. He phoned to apologize.

I told the BOE I felt, with my wife’s inactive status, I should step down. They contacted the C.O. Met with the BOE and C.O. They all felt I should not step down, that the congregation understood the situation and my wife’s spiritual demise would not be considered ‘my fault’. This stepping down thing was going nowhere, so a few meetings later, just before the announcements, I handed the ministerial servant going to the platform a note to read saying “The elders wish to advise the congregation that for the present time brother Wheels will not be serving as an elder”. He read the announcement.

My wife now believes it is best not to meet. After the C.O. visit she began using the phrases “I just don’t feeling comfortable discussing my personal situation” “too painful to talk about” “nothing to be done” which has worked well for her. And they have tried to meet with her many times.

Myself, I’ve talked to quite a few, and have been quite open that my beef is with the Watchtower. I won’t allow any JW to come into our home and I would not attend a formal meeting for encouragement otherwise. The last time the C.O. turned up I kept him on the step, in the winter cold, even though it was evident he wanted in. We talked about 15 minutes. If they want to talk I bring up disturbing points that are not debatable. Tell them I’m really disturbed and troubled. I would never answer THE QUESTION however and I think they know it. After all they were the ones that taught us how to use theocratic warfare LOL.

Each congregation treats the inactive situation differently. Some ignore them and don’t even visit. Some try to bring them back. Others prefer to get rid of them. My experience says if you want to fade don’t profess fatigue or depression just let them know kindly that this is a ‘no help’ situation.

Oh, and be careful what you tell your hubby. He may open up to other elders, wanting help to correct your viewpoint. When other elders see you can’t be helped, his info could be used against you.

Good Luck SW!

65

How do I handle this situation?

by BarelyThere in

jw
friends

hey everyone.

i'm sorry that this isn't a very thought provoking post but i could really use some advice on how to handle this.

there isn't anyone else in my life i can ask right now because, being dfed, all of my friends are "worldly" and don't know how witnesses function.

wheelwithinwheel

Sorry BT. I understood you wanted to be reinstated ASAP so I simply gave you the theocratic answer to your question. JW reality. Reality you will have to deal with during your time out and even after the congregation allows you back in. Some here feel my remarks were mean. If it appears that way I apologize. I gave you the congregation’s viewpoint. I hope you realize you will need to grow a thick skin.

A childhood friend of mine went through the same situation as you. The only difference was the elders had warned her before it all happened. After she was df’d she decided, like you, she needed to get back into the congregation. She asked me for suggestions. Here is what I told her.

Download the elder’s secret manual off the net. Read it carefully. You can’t play a game if you don’t know the rules.
Study up on repentance. It is the key to reinstatement. You need to know what it really means and how to show it.
Be patient. This is going to take some time.

#2 was difficult for my friend because she and her new husband didn’t really regret what they had done. They felt it was their only choice. However you need to know this: People are not disfellowshipped for their ‘sin’. You can do some serious stuff and get off with just a reprimand if you’re repentant. People are disfellowshipped because the elders feel they are not repentant. That’s the Watchtower’s rule. Even for an appeals committee the brothers are reminded beforehand that they must judge if the person was repentant at the time of the df’ing hearing. If the person wasn’t repentant, the df’ing stands.

In the coming months you will need to demonstrate ‘true repentance’. Familiarize yourself with exactly what it means and how best to demonstrate it. You need to convince the brothers that you deeply regret having damaged you relationship with Jehovah, the congregation, and your family. By your actions and words this must be reflected. Before you do, or don’t do, something ask yourself, “Will this give the impression I’m truly sorry for what I did? The question should help you decide what is appropriate and what is not. When you are finally granted a meeting with the elders, be prepared to explain to them what you’ve done to repair your relationship with Jehovah and the congregation and what you are going to do in the future to safeguard them.

Wishing you the best of luck.

I’ll finish with the end of my friends story. She got her "repentance" down pat and was reinstated after a little more than 1 year. However her new husband tried to convince the elders they had been harsh and complained about other situations in the congregation. His reinstatement meetings dragged on and on. Finally his wife helped him out with his “repentance”. They are now back in and changed congregations soon after his reinstatement.

Wheels

65

How do I handle this situation?

by BarelyThere in

jw
friends

hey everyone.

i'm sorry that this isn't a very thought provoking post but i could really use some advice on how to handle this.

there isn't anyone else in my life i can ask right now because, being dfed, all of my friends are "worldly" and don't know how witnesses function.

wheelwithinwheel

Sounds like you don’t get it.

You’re the sinner here. Put your head down and do your time.

And don’t forget, even if the elders really begin to think you just might be repentant and have some regrets, they will take into consideration how the congregation’s going to feel about an early reinstatement.

It sounds by the comments made that everyone believes you played the ‘get rid of my crappy husband free’ card. If that is the case the elders will probably tack on more time just to put the fear of God into anyone else thinking of copying your idea.

So grab yourself a chair and put your patience hat on. It’s only been a few months. You could be in for a long haul.

Wheels

P.S. if you want to lengthen the process, keep your boyfriend or marry him. It will confirm their suspicions.

63

Just found out their about to baptise my 14 year old boy.

by Crazyguy in

there doing this right under my nose but i just found out.

not sure what to do but would like your help on getting me wt information on my headship role and how they shouldn't be doing this with out my permission.

also would like some help on showing my son the ramifications on what happens to someone when they get baptized and how they'll expect him to treat me.

wheelwithinwheel

Perhaps you should concentrate on your wife. Point out local examples of baptised and unbaptised kids in your area that have left. Accentuate the difference in the family dynamics depending on the kids baptismal status. Bring up the very real possibilities of what could happen to her 14 year old. Ask her if she really wants to be forbidden all contact with her son for the rest of her life. I think most moms need to be warned...and reminded often. They really suffer when it happens. And it does. Often.

Wheels

21

Were the elders informed about the construction shutdown?

by LevelThePlayingField in

anybody know?

wheelwithinwheel

Heard a well-connected elder asked Jehovah in his prayer to help the brothers deal with their disappointments. The person who told me knows I know more about jw.org than before I faded so she asked me what his prayer could mean. I tried to break the news to her gently telling her I sure hoped it wasn't because they began building the tower without calculating if they could finish it.

I don't believe a letter is necessary. Elders can't keep a secret. J-dubs love to gossip. Everyone is going to know someone affected. Layed off people are going to start turning up in congregations and finally.... this is BIG news! Jehovah's chariot is having mechanical problems.