Posts by WildTurkey

54

Dad is gone

by jack2 in

jw
friends

my dad passed away at the hospital today after a lengthy illness.

he was 84 years old.

some of the folks here have known for awhile that he had been ill, and they have been very supportive.

WildTurkey

(((jack))) Man I dont have the words. sorry.

27

I fought the stairs and the stairs won...

by Trauma_Hound in

jw
friends

if i seem out of it, for the next few days, it's because i fell down a flight of stairs, slipped on the carpeted stairs in my bare feet, and broke my tail bone, and split a toe open, and had to have stitches.

so i'm on heavey narcotics, and if you need to get ahold of me in any amount of time, then a phone call is the best bet.

ciao for now.

WildTurkey

Hound sorry man. I guess your ass took a real pounding huh? lol hope you get better soon.

1

Best Things to say if Caught Sleeping At The KH

by WildTurkey in

jw
friends

"they told me at the blood bank this might happen.".

"this is just a 15 minute power-nap .

"i wasn't sleeping!

WildTurkey

"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"This is just a 15 minute power-nap
"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating
"I was testing my new tie for drool resistance."
"I was doing Yoga exercises to relieve public talk-related stress."
"Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out what John was thinking when he wrote about the great Whore!!!!!!! say it loud
" ... in Jesus' name. Amen."

4

Holiday Witnessing

by WildTurkey in

jw
friends

i hated holiday witnessing, man go to the door families trying to be together, and there we were standing there trying to get the magazines in their hands.

god i hated that, go to the door and the person who owns the house was not the one to answer the door, they tell you to wait a second as they go and get her/him, the whole damn family staring at you like a turd in the punch bowl.

then the house holder comes to the door with flour all over them, family just getting there walking in behind you, and you tell the house holder you will be just a second.

WildTurkey

In my old Cong, I was one of 4 elders the other 3 were regular pioneers. They wanted a group for service for all the holidays. They set the time to meet for door to door work at 9:30am for New Years day. Now that was fun. Hell Im surprised they didnt get a group for service for Groundhog Day.

4

Holiday Witnessing

by WildTurkey in

jw
friends

i hated holiday witnessing, man go to the door families trying to be together, and there we were standing there trying to get the magazines in their hands.

god i hated that, go to the door and the person who owns the house was not the one to answer the door, they tell you to wait a second as they go and get her/him, the whole damn family staring at you like a turd in the punch bowl.

then the house holder comes to the door with flour all over them, family just getting there walking in behind you, and you tell the house holder you will be just a second.

WildTurkey

I hated holiday witnessing, man go to the door families trying to be together, and there we were standing there trying to get the magazines in their hands. God I hated that, go to the door and the person who owns the house was not the one to answer the door, they tell you to wait a second as they go and get her/him, the whole damn family staring at you like a turd in the punch bowl. Then the house holder comes to the door with flour all over them, family just getting there walking in behind you, and you tell the house holder you will be just a second. DAMN!!!!!!!! But we were not a bother we were doing the lords work, so now Im convinced Jehovah just loves to get on folks nerves.

So did you like going out on holidays?

Edited by - WildTurkey on 8 December 2002 21:9:47

28

If we had a party , what would you like to do?

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

since it is so cold and everyone is spead all over the world,,,,, just imagine that we are all , of us here on the board have been invited to a large building for one hell of big apostofest.

would you choose to come to the party?

pretend money is no issue ,time, travel , work or kids.

WildTurkey

Please no one invite Phinehas, Numbers25:7,8 lol.

Let's all of us guys, set back and watch jello wrestling,see how many women can tie a knot in a cherry stem, lots of dirty dancing, the bump and grind. And all of us guys can have a pissing contest and a contest to see who has the longest Johnson.

And we can invite Jesus , in case we run out of wine!!!!!!!!

Sit back and wonder if the 12 were boozers?????

10

Funny Instructions

by WildTurkey in

jw
friends

some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible.

these are actual instruction labels on consumer goods.... .

on sears hairdryer:.

WildTurkey

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)