Posts by WildTurkey

6

"What is politics?"

by WildTurkey in

a little boy goes to his dad and asks, "what is politics?".

dad says, "well son, let me try to explain it this way: i'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism.

your mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government.

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense." So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

2

Legendary Proverbs

by WildTurkey in

legendary proverbs

passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.

virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.

WildTurkey

Legendary Proverbs

Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.

Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk.

Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.

War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell bound to get there.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.

Man who farts in church sits in own pew.

Man who drops watch in toilet bound to have crappy time.

Crowded elevator smells different to midget.

56

Going Bald?

by Puternut in

jw
friends

ok, i went to get my hair cut yesterday, and i told her i wanted to do something different.

i've had it long, then colored it blonde, spiked it, and now it's short.

she said how about bald?

WildTurkey

If you do shave your head, you can join my club.

18

(Fluff) Bald Heads

by Descender in

jw
friends

so, yeah.

this isn't a religious topic or even important, but i figured that there were so many other posts about miscillaneous subjects that i'd post my own.

i have a receding hairline, so i shave my head twice a week or so and i usually keep a goatee.

WildTurkey

I be bald. I shave my head most everyday.

http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL76/1907517/3683781/45263721.jpg

4

updated commandments

by WildTurkey in

it's about time someone updated those commandments, so here are some suggestions...

thou shall not stick anything larger than thine own elbow in thine ear.

thou shall not eat anything larger than thine own head.

WildTurkey

It's about time someone updated those commandments, so here are some suggestions...

Thou shall not stick anything larger than thine own elbow in thine ear

Thou shall not eat anything larger than thine own head

Thou shall not kill? unless thou has a good reason to do it

Thou shall watch porn movies

Thou shall have an ego smaller than that of Prince Charles

Thou shall not impersonate God, unless thou is stoned off thy ass

Thou shall not piss in the holy water

Thou shall not piss in the pool water

Thou shall not sign a contract of more than seven thousand pages

Thou shall not write a contract larger than seven thousand pages

Thou shall not fantasize about Bob the Builder

Thou shall not lick thine own asshole

Thou shall not be Communist

Thou shall not masturbate into the Fountain of Youth

Thou shall not start the fourth Reich

Thou shall not set homework

Thou shall have a surname shorter than forty-six letters

Thou shall always believe in what thy say, unless thou is wrong

Thou shall not make love to a lamp-post

Thou shall not eat a Nintendo

Thou shall not eat a Playstation (Sega?s don?t matter)

Thou shall not be flexible enough to go through thine own legs twice, backwards, without breaking thy spine

Thou shall listen to an entire sentence before making some disgusting comment about it

Thou shall not desecrate thine own genitalia

Thou shall not be unco

Thou shall not like any show on Comedy Central, other than South Park and Dr. Katz

Thou shall commit adultery

Thou shall hate all songs by Hanson (except maybe This Time Around)

Thou shall not create a song lasting longer than twenty-four minutes

Thou shall not bore shitless

Thou shall only install light switches smaller than the wall they are on

Thou shall consume alcohol only on special occasions, but these rules are very flexible, as Nuntas is included on the list, the celebration of the passing from morning to afternoon. (i.e. you can just make them up)

Thou shall not do the Hampsterdance

Thou shall not spell hamster incorrectly, with a P

Thou shall not enter a freestyle rapping competition

Thou shall succumb to advertising

Thou shall not try to ?show the bank? by not paying your bill

Thou shall break out of prison, unless thou is not in jail, in which case thou shall commit a felony, then break out of prison [Please do not take this literally]

Thou shall not be a Video Jockey (VJ)

Thou shall not market Windows XP

Thou shall not be part of a pop group

Thou shall pirate all forms of media possible

Thou shall not play Ookeymouth (This game consists of having someone spit in your mouth and trying to say ?ookeymouth? at the same time)

Thou shall not use Mad magazine as a basis for real life

Thou shall not make a pocket television that fits in a change pocket

Thou shall not stand in the street and scream ?You are the weakest link. Goodbye!? in any language

Thou shall destroy anything to do with any sort of ?mon?. Pokemon, Digimon? it?s all got to go.

Thou shall not chuck a psycho

Thou shall not set dates as to the end of time.

If you do set a date for the end, when it doesn?t thou shall not lie and say that it is the beginning of the end