Shelby,
Thanks for your honest answer to my questions.
I'm sorry you had to answer them so late at nite, at least if you are living on the east coast it was late.
About this voice that you feel is God talking to you, please don't misunderstand me but maybe it could just be your own mind playing tricks on you.
It happens to all of us sometimes.
Please don't feel that I respect you less if I say this, I don't. We can all at times get to feeling we must be somebody special,and that maybe God will use us in some special way.
Maybe we have been through some hard times and we just need a little rest, maybe some counseling, or a little medication to give our minds and hearts time and space to heal.
Shelby please go see a professional and get some help do it for your family for those that really love you.
I say this with concern and don't mean any harm, I'm sorry if I may have at anytime been less than that.
Former elder turned apostate (by WT definition)[:)}and proud of it!