wonderwoman77

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Posts by wonderwoman77

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  8

  to be or not to be????

  by wonderwoman77 in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  hey all...i am in a bit of a dilemma over the situation with my girlfriend.

  let me give you a bit of background info first.

  when i was 12 my dad left my mom, he came back for my 13 birthday and then when he went to leave again, my mom tried to commit suicide.

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  wonderwoman77

  SS

  Well moving past it is a very difficult feat, as I have not completely done it, but it is possible. First of all I got counseling. I was in counseling two years, that helped me get past a lot of the stuff, but I was still codependent in many ways. My mom and I have almost stopped having a relationship, which helped, it is sad to say that, but getting away from her and her neediness helped me see how much I was needing her to need me and when she did not need me (because she started needing a man that abuses her) i freaked. I was able to work through this, using skills I learned from counseling and in my current psych classes. I also had a realization this summer.

  You can only control yourself. You cannot control your environment, you cannot control other people. I was spending time as a codependent trying to control my environment and the people in it and not myself. This was causing me to have extreme emotional reactions, to feel crapped on, etc. Then I just realized. I can only control me, if I am mad or sad, it is because that is my reaction. I may have a right to be mad or sad, but that is all me. I let go of trying to control the world, and my life has been much freer and happier. It is easier said than done, as I still am not perfect at this, but I am and always will be a work in progress...:) Good luck SS, if you want to email me about this let me know and I will give you my addy....
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  113

  I'm a bad American

  by Bendrr in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i picked up this essay on another site and wanted to share it with y'all.

  not sure of the original writer, so i'll credit www.thebigshow.com for posting it.. ---.

  i'm a bad american.

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  wonderwoman77

  Jelly, I have to disagree with you homeless mental illness statement...a majority of people that abuse drugs and are homeless is because they have a mental illness. and most of the people that just make bad life decsions, made those decsions because they have a mental illness....
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  8

  to be or not to be????

  by wonderwoman77 in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  hey all...i am in a bit of a dilemma over the situation with my girlfriend.

  let me give you a bit of background info first.

  when i was 12 my dad left my mom, he came back for my 13 birthday and then when he went to leave again, my mom tried to commit suicide.

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  wonderwoman77

  Yes SS, I am a woman...yes I know ALL about codependency. I have seen the signs of it it myself at times. But I do not want this girl to change. I just do not think I can be the person she is emotionally dependent on. What I am doing is trying to avoid falling back into this codependency trap. I was there for 11 years, and I never want to go back. Thanks for the info though. More or less, I think I need to end it, but I have never broken anyones heart, not sure how to do that. Also with the codependent thing, there are many of those things I use to do, but I have moved past them, and healed myself, so that I no longer act in that way. That is why I do not want to need this person with emotionaly trauma, I do not want that again. Make sense?
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  16

  My favorite Xmas movie is on right now...

  by Andee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a christmas story!

  i love this movie!!!!

  ralphie wants a red rider double action bb gun and the whole movie is about how he goes about making sure he gets one for christmas.. here's some classic lines from it:.

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  wonderwoman77

  I love A Christmas Story. It takes place in my home state Indiana. It is a great movie. the original grinch is my second and then 3rd is charlie brown christmas....:)
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  8

  to be or not to be????

  by wonderwoman77 in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  hey all...i am in a bit of a dilemma over the situation with my girlfriend.

  let me give you a bit of background info first.

  when i was 12 my dad left my mom, he came back for my 13 birthday and then when he went to leave again, my mom tried to commit suicide.

  1. 
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• 

  wonderwoman77

  Hey all...I am in a bit of a dilemma over the situation with my girlfriend. Let me give you a bit of background info first. When I was 12 my dad left my mom, he came back for my 13 birthday and then when he went to leave again, my mom tried to commit suicide. Since that time, I was my mom's totally emotional support more or less. It was more like I was the parent for a long time. When I was 21 things started to change slowly, but I was mainly her support until last year when i turned 23. I have adjusted to this new freedom and not having to worry about someone 24/7. I have also become more independent myself in a way. My new girl, seems to be fairly needy emotionally and I see her falling very fast into the relationship. Already in "love" less than 2 months in. She is very passive aggressive as well. And that kind of bothers me. I am so scared if I stay in the relationship, I will end up in a caregiver role like I did with my mom, I am not ready for that, and I am not sure if I want to be in the role with another adult ever. Does anyone understand what I am saying? Anyone got any clues for me out there.....
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  24

  Funniest (Yes another one) names at Kingdom hall

  by sleepy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  whats the funniest names you've come across at the kingdom hall?.

  once i went to a hall were it was anonced that the seal's were away on holiday .in the closing prayer they prayed for brother pig.. i thought we were in a zoo.

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  wonderwoman77

  well lets see, we had a huge family of the Skaggs. what a awful name. I can hardle remember many others, I know there were more, but I have tried to block that experience out, so I don't remember. :)
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  17

  Are they going too far?

  by Princess in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i feel like i am a moderately patriotic person.

  i bought old navy flag tee shirts for my whole family.

  i wore mine the day of the memorials shortly after sept 11. i have a flag sticker in my car window.. my husband told me of an article in usa today regarding the flags everywhere.

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  wonderwoman77

  I think it was very good to show our support and unite as a country, but it has become very commercilized. many people are trying to make a buck. this year in my town, they had the christmas lighting ceramony and all the lights downtown are red white and blue. I kinda like the idea, but then again I see it as a constant reminder, but then again maybe we need to be reminded to be on guard against anything else that could happen
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  13

  Do you have a Piercing or a Tattoo?

  by Sirona in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  on the vasectomy thread someone mentioned jw opinion of body piercing.

  do you have a body piercing or a tattoo?

  did you have it done while in the dubs, in secret maybe?

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  wonderwoman77

  I have my tongue pierced and I have two tats. I have the sun on one ankle and it does this cool spiraling thing and changes color from red to purple to blue. I have a tribal art moon on the other ankle.
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  28

  does anyone else love alanis...?

  by wonderwoman77 in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  i was just wondering if anyone else here loves alanis and her music.

  i really identify with many of her lyrics, especially on her supposed former infatuation junkie cd and her unplugged cd.

  i am very excited, her new album will be out in feb. i really love her song these r the thoughts.

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  wonderwoman77

  funkyderek...hey I have been to the website a million times, it is kinda cool, but I do not think all the lyrics reflect her genius.

  Sirona...yes alanis is a GODDESS. I love her. and that was an awesome pic of her...thanks :)
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  23

  My Thanksgiving...

  by Billygoat in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this post is totally sappy, but i don't care.

  i wanted to share it anyway.

  lately, i have felt very sorry for myself because my relationship with my jw parents is almost to the point of being severed.

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  wonderwoman77

  Thanks for sharing your story. That was awesome! I am glad you had a good day. I understand about not being thrilled for the holidays when you cannot be with your family, especially your parents. My parents are not JW, but my mom has borderline personality disorder and she basically has cut me out of her life. This is the way it is. It is hard this time of year. But this year I made my first turkey and it turned out great! and my best friend is coming tomorrow. I am so happy...:)