Slept in, made a big breakfast for everyone, then read a novel on the porch. Now I realize why I was always so tired all the time- normal people get to RELAX every weekend! Every weekend!!! Instead of the stress of getting everyone up, dressed, equipped and out the door by 9am seven days a week, we can actually have two whole days off. It's awesome.
dissonance_resolved
JoinedPosts by dissonance_resolved
-
3
Swimming In the Pool or Going to the Meeting - A Real Tough Decision
by Comatose injoke.
man, its nice to be free.
what did you do today instead?.
-
-
-
66
Another Newbie
by Skinnedsheep ini recently came to the realization that the organization is corrupt and is false.
my story is similar to many i think.
i was raised in the religion, pioneered and served as an elder for a number of years.
-
-
dissonance_resolved
Welcome SkinnedSheep! It was precisely the new light about the GB being the FDS that woke me up and I had never been phased before by prior issues such as the generations, blood, UN, etc. though I was vaguely aware and unsettled. I'm born in, 4th generation, former pioneer with my whole family still in. It is certainly a monumental task that awaits those of us who are trying to leave, especially if you have family in. This has been a great place to find support and a listening, non-judgmental ear. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.
-
22
Seeing the Strange in the JW Familiar
by laverite inthere are times when we manage to step outside of our own identities, perspectives and world view, and look at ourselves, our situations or certain lived experiences almost as an outsider.
sociologists call it seeing the strange in the familiar.
an anthropologist by the name of miner wrote a fascinating piece involving this very concept (see http://www.ohio.edu/people/thompsoc/body.html).
-
-
dissonance_resolved
I thought of this post when I had an experience earlier today. I'm still early in my fade and thus still feeling guilty about not going out in FS on Saturday morning. Nonetheless, today I slept in a bit, went for a jog and then spent some time playing with the kids. My son had a soccer game in another town and on the way we stopped at a Quikmart to get water. There at one of the tables was a car group obviously on break from FS- two parents, two kids and one older brother. I felt this rush of complicated, extreme emotions- shame, guilt, fear, panic, embarrassment, glee, exhilaration, victory. Very strange. They just looked so odd, out of place all dressed up in a gas station with other people going about their normal business. They all looked a bit sad and underwhelmed. I was so so glad not to be one of them. It was so familiar, something I've done hundreds of times and yet in that moment seemed the most bizarre thing in the world. My son's team won their game- a great day.
-
66
So apparently I'm now a Secular Humanist
by Oubliette ini was doing some research on the subject of beliefs and belief systems when i came across an on-line survey/test that supposedly helps you determine which religion or philosophy is most like your current beliefs.
if you're curious, you can take the quiz here: belief system selector quizafter answering the 20 questions the results were spit out!
tada!!!.
-
-
dissonance_resolved
I'm apparently a Liberal Quaker, with JW ranking last at 17%. Interestingly, I retook the test with my JW hat on but I guess I got some answers wrong and so ended up as 100% Hasidic Jew. Must be all those meetings I missed.
-
122
Suspicious
by Suspicious ini guess i'm new here.
born in and an ms. things just hasn't been making sense the more i think about it.
i'm starting to get suspicious.
-
-
dissonance_resolved
Welcome! I've found that people here are at different stages of their journeys and have lots of different opinions and ideas. The best thing is that you can discuss questions, ideas and opinions freely, without fear of reprisal. I'm also born in, still in for now and have had or still have the same questions you do. jwfacts.com is the best place to start, but go slowly because it you'll find it's like a house of cards....
-
18
Some odd developments
by dissonance_resolved inso things are not making sense at all here in my fade.
as i had posted earlier, i had a long intense talk the other night with my husband where i thought it was crystal clear just where i'm at right now with the wtbts.
then, the same week, he's not feeling well and asks me to take the kids to the mid-week meeting.
-
-
dissonance_resolved
Thanks again everyone- I haven't had much time to reply. Sorry I can't remember your names but here goes-
I've read Plato before, but will check it out again- I'm sure it will look different with the JW blinders off.
My husband and I haven't had a lot of in depth discussion. Honestly, I've been afraid to bring it up. I absolutely cannot lose my kids over this. I've tried dropping hints and suggestions but nothing ever went far. Plus he's been sick and I didn't want to stress him out even more. But I think the discussion we had was enough so that if I bring things to his attention going forward, he will have the context whereas he didn't before. I'm trying to take it slow and not force anything, per the advice I've received on this forum.
With my parents, I'm starting to wonder if maybe they'll just play the game as long as I make an appearance once in awhile. We were actually going to another congregation for awhile, never officially switched, but I think somehow everyone else is thinking if we aren't here, we're there and vice versa, which is a good thing. Only my parents really know that we should actually be attending their meetings and I'm hoping they'll just let it go with the checking up. It's funny, my dad always lets me know if they won't be at the meeting and why, but I'm making it a point not to.
-
18
Some odd developments
by dissonance_resolved inso things are not making sense at all here in my fade.
as i had posted earlier, i had a long intense talk the other night with my husband where i thought it was crystal clear just where i'm at right now with the wtbts.
then, the same week, he's not feeling well and asks me to take the kids to the mid-week meeting.
-
-
dissonance_resolved
So things are not making sense at all here in my fade. As I had posted earlier, I had a long intense talk the other night with my husband where I thought it was crystal clear just where I'm at right now with the WTBTS. Then, the same week, he's not feeling well and asks me to take the kids to the mid-week meeting. What did he not understand? Is he in denial?
On the other hand, my parents are a different story. If I don't make a meeting, they _always_ check in with me to make sure everyone is ok and has a legitimate reason to miss the meeting (boy, are those running in short supply.). This week, we missed the midweek meeting and they did not mention it at all and both went on to have lengthy unrelated, happy discussions with me.
I feel like I'm living in an alternative universe where my own actions and thoughts are meaningless.
-
24
This is so difficult
by dissonance_resolved inso i woke up a few months ago and had no idea what to expect.
at first i was outraged that i had been lied to all these years and so sad that i lost so many years of my life to a cult.
in the past couple of weeks though, i've actually been having second thoughts.
-
-
dissonance_resolved
Mickey mouse- I just sent you a PM. Thanks!
-
24
This is so difficult
by dissonance_resolved inso i woke up a few months ago and had no idea what to expect.
at first i was outraged that i had been lied to all these years and so sad that i lost so many years of my life to a cult.
in the past couple of weeks though, i've actually been having second thoughts.
-
-
dissonance_resolved
Thanks to everyone for your advice and support. I have been reading the experiences of others and trying to apply what seems to have worked for them. I've been trying to take things slow, but the time pressure really comes in when I think of my kids and not wanting them to be any further indoctrinated. They are getting to the age where they are really started to internalize what they are hearing and I can't stand seeing it happen.
Smiddy- you are right about this being emotional blackmail, but it would hurt them just as much, or more than it would hurt me.
BU2B- it's mental torture for me too. There's no way I can go out in FS knowing what I do and the meetings make me physically ill. I'm down to maybe one weeknight meeting a month and two or three Sundays. I'm supposed to be making plans to go to the DC but funny how that hasn't risen to the top of my list of things to do.
-
24
This is so difficult
by dissonance_resolved inso i woke up a few months ago and had no idea what to expect.
at first i was outraged that i had been lied to all these years and so sad that i lost so many years of my life to a cult.
in the past couple of weeks though, i've actually been having second thoughts.
-
-
dissonance_resolved
Satanus- not necessarily, I don't think my husband will go running to my family. It's an in-law thing. He may go to the elders, but he's very sick so it may nt be anytime soon. I'm hoping that breaking this news to him while he's confined to bed might give him the impetus to do some research online that he might not otherwise have done. Oh, I'm so evil.