having read the exchanges between rev, bill bowen, and others involved in the silent lambs website, i honestly feel sickened.
i remember when i first started to hear rumblings that "something big" was going down regarding the society's handling of child abuse.
i was overjoyed because i had first-hand knowledge of several atrocities in this regard and was hoping against all odds that a major upset would force them to change their policies.
Hillary Step- THANK YOU!! Your thoughts on this echo my own and are very well put- especially this statement:
Very nice to see you posting!!As I said yeserday I see no honor in a person in the guise of protecting abused children, moving then to abuse adults and feeling that this can be excused.
XW
as many of you know, i'm divorced, have been for 2 years now, after a 13 year marriage.
my ex and i get along pretty well, we're friends of a sort, and we have our kids' well being as our main priority in life.
that's not the weird part..well, i suppose in some ways it is, but that may be a story for another post!.
YAY Dana!!!!
Pretty cool isn't it? It really is a huge thing and I'm so glad for you!! It takes an additional pressure away that I can assure you is a heavy one.
My ex-husband finally got there too but it took him 10 years to do it and much crap in the meantime but I'm very glad to have him co-parenting with me now that our daughter is in her teens. She tried a few times within the last several months to play one parent against the other and was quite shocked when it didn't work and her father and I stood united on the issue at hand.
I am still a little shocked at times when he calls and wants to talk about something regarding her (he was quite non involved from age 4-14) and says things like "what are your thoughts on ..." I even asked him one day "Who are you and what did you do with my evil ex-husband" LOL He even took her shopping for her Homecoming dress a few months back!! I had to tease him about that- "I didn't know they sold dresses at Fleet Farm." We can laugh with each other now and really get together on issues regarding our daughter and it's great!!!
I'm happy for you that this is possible so soon and while your kids are still young.
A man who likes shopping and you divorced him.
I got a kick out of this one too!!!
Hugs at ya Dana!!!!
XW
just a note to say happy saturday !!!
and isn't today the day we get to see you with a packers jersey on?
and don't try any fast stuff lb- i don't want to see any morphed pictures of someone else wearing the jersey with your head on it- the jersey has to be on your body!!
LB- take all the time you need sweetie!!! Have a great weekend!!
XW
after seven years we finally got a call from an elder this morning.
he wants to come over and talk to steve (he wouldn't talk to me or give me any message).
this particular elder was from steve's old congregation in austin, texas.
Princess- I think they took fingerprints off of that strategically placed pumpkin and are simply afraid of seeing a decorated Christmas tree on the KH steps soon
Good luck! I'm glad you and Steve are in a good place about it all. And no- don't waste any of the good stuff on them!!!
XW
my grandma was the best cook i've ever known.
i miss her holiday treats soo much.
this year i decided to step up to the plate, and takeover by producing some of my own.
Our traditional Christmas day dinner is Prime Rib and Yorkshire Pudding. We also add other dishes like mashed potatoes and gravy and some vegetable dishes. The picture is of the traditional way to cook Yorkshire Pudding. When I make it I put the batter into muffin tins making individual servings. Tear them into smaller pieces and pour gravy over them- YUM. I can't wait!!!
Prime Rib | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Serves 6 to 8 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| To ensure even cooking, roast must first be left at room temperature for about two hours before being placed in the oven. Do not use a non-stick pan for this recipe; it will yield fewer cooked-on bits of flavorful juices. Serve the meat with its traditional side dish, Yorkshire Pudding. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Yorkshire Pudding | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Serves 8 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Yorkshire-pudding batter must be very cold before baking. Make it a day ahead, and refrigerate. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Happy Holidays Everyone!!!
XW of the "cooking" class
i once posted about my son, and his being given a ticket for public intoxication.
well, he came home a while ago drunk.
i flew off the handle and we had a few words.
((((((((((((((Shari))))))))))))))
One of the things they say about alcoholism is that until the person with the problem hits bottom (theirs, not yours) they will do nothing to change their life. Unfortunately, for many, they are using alcohol to hide from or kill the pain of their underlying problems so "bottom" is a very low place and many never find it. The consequences of their actions and behaviors are never bad enough to affect any lasting change.
You may get nowhere trying to talk to him about what he is doing to himself. At 18 years old we all feel pretty invincible. The only way he's going to see how destructive his behavior is - is to have the affects of it cause a great deal of discomfort for him.
If he is living in your home, you have a right to set boundaries. To protect yourself from the angst this is causing you and to draw a line for him about what type of behavior will be accepted by you in your home and what will not. But in order for those boundaries to work, you must define them very clearly to him and then enforce them consistently. And yes, if he can't follow the rules and boundaries set up in your household, eventually the consequences may be him needing to find another place to be. Sounds awfully mean doesn't it? It's really not in the long run. Right now, as it stands the consequences of his behavior may not be any big deal to him. So he goes out and gets drunk and comes home. Yeah, Mom is mad as hell and he's got a massive headache and maybe even puked his guts out but all of that passes and he's back at it again. Short lived pain for him no doubt and major anxiety for you.
You might want to also see if you are enabling him in any way. Do you help him out of the consequences of his choices, even something as small as getting him an aspirin for his hangover? You may want to look at those kinds of things and stop altogether. If he gets himself into something because of his drinking, he can get himself out all by himself. And maybe eventually if he wants to continue to make those choices, he can live in an apartment on his own and see what it's like to have to make life choices and still choose to drink.
Drinking is for adults. And there is such a thing as drinking responsibly. He is legally an adult for many things but it's still not legal for him to drink until he's 21. He is choosing to do that. Maybe he needs to take on all the responsibilities of being an adult then, having a job, paying rent, the phone bill buying groceries etc. It is quite hard to sustain all of that and still make the choice to party the way he is choosing to. If this is something with him that is truly a problem and is getting out of hand and getting in the way of his life, maybe his life needs to be turned over to him to take care of and see how the choices he is making are affecting it.
This might sound harsh and I would only suggest this if the situation is harsh. And it is possible to do this and have him still understand that you love him. It's not unloving to expect our children to be responsible for their own actions and behaviors. It's one of our jobs as parents and this is one of the toughest jobs there is. Sometimes tough love is called for and there are many of us out there as adults now who thank our parents for having given us a dose of it along the way.
Shari, you said that you don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you. Please don't let that feeling place you in a position where you are walking on eggshells with the situation. It is never too late for counseling and from what you wrote about the road he's traveled, it would be a very good idea. He may not be very willing to participate in that however. Is there insurance to cover counseling for him? A friend of mine, when faced with a similar situation as yours, made counseling a condition of his son's ability to continue living under his roof. His son fought it tooth and nail but in the end he started really participating and the underlying problems were unearthed and resolved and his son is now a college senior and very much stable and happy.
Many hugs- I hope things get better for the two of you- please keep us posted. My email is open if you ever need an ear!!
XW
have to share this experience with you all.
years ago we were advised in england that computers were frowned upon not to bother with them,anyhow i never listened & therfore we bought into the computer market,we were allso advised not to spend to much time with televisions,of which i took alittle note got rid of it for six months,it gave us back family time ,any how as you guesed it the persuasion came from the local elders ,(geting rid of things.).
we then decided to buy a caravan ,yes this was frowned upon ,as we wanted weekends away to enjoy life with the family,people complained that we wouldnot be able to meet for field service transgresing against jehovah stealing his time,anyhow we went out and bought a 23 foot twin wheel caravan the one you have to pull behind a car or jeep.. we visited lots of areas of natural beauty in england .but the story now gets interesting ,we ended up storing our caravan down in summerset ,we had great times at the site meeting all types of different people & familys,we met a special middle aged couple & there famiy became good friends,the husband has developed cancer ,has been given six months to live,he was left for deadby the hospital with no hope of seeing next christmas or beyond,, he had cancer in his liver ,i found a article on the internet wherby a (cancer surgeon ) had a way of operating on the liver ,i informed my friend ,gave his wife the contact address,and three weeks later he is booked in for an operation that will save & prolong his life,the surgeon is going to starve the infected cancerouse liver then remove the slight infected other liver which will then start to grow ,kapow a new lease of lifeto a man who was resigned for death.. my point here is.. if,we had listened to the society, (about bad associations ).
nightwarrior- what a wonderful story. I am so glad that you didn't follow their advice. Your friends are blessed to have you in their lives and I'm sure you feel the same way about them!!
Thanks for sharing this!!
XW
just a note to say happy saturday !!!
and isn't today the day we get to see you with a packers jersey on?
and don't try any fast stuff lb- i don't want to see any morphed pictures of someone else wearing the jersey with your head on it- the jersey has to be on your body!!
Hey there Kismet!!
You are correct!! Didn't we then go double or nothing on the next game? If I am mistaken, I will gladly put on the purple for ya!!!
XW of the "always pays her bets" class
just a note to say happy saturday !!!
and isn't today the day we get to see you with a packers jersey on?
and don't try any fast stuff lb- i don't want to see any morphed pictures of someone else wearing the jersey with your head on it- the jersey has to be on your body!!
LB-
Just a note to say Happy Saturday !!! And isn't today the day we get to see you with a Packers Jersey on? We'll be waiting.........
And don't try any fast stuff LB- I don't want to see any morphed pictures of someone else wearing the jersey with your head on it- the jersey has to be on YOUR body!! Maybe we'll need to see a picture with the jersey and your tattoo!!!
XW of the "glad I'm on this side of the bet" class
been here awhile now, mostly as a lurker, but while reading alot of posts, i feel justified in formulating an opinion on who the coolest person on this board is.
so my vote goes to ....drum roll.... .
valis .
Valis
whatchu talkin bout Willis!!!
XW of the class
