Posts by xenawarrior

You didn't do anything wrong and if your dad is upset, frankly it's HIS problem, not yours. I know, easier said than absorbed. Unfortunately, at least for the time being, you may still be operating from guilt triggers having most probably grown up meeting the expectations of others.

It is not at all unreasonable for you to want to ease into this relationship with folks you don't know. They are strangers to you at this point and you find things about them unsettling and that makes you uncomfortable. That may not be the case as time goes on and you get to know them better but that is the whole point. As time goes on. This isn't a race and noone should be expecting to make up for so many years at a birthday party. That kind of environment alone is chaotic.

IMHO, your father is expecting too much from you with this and using guilt to try to make it the way he wants it. It may be out of a geniuine desire on his part to have things all wrapped up in a nice neat "family" bow very quickly and guilting may be a way he has learned over the years to make things happen the way he wants them to. He may be just as frightened to lose the relationship with you as you are of losing him and he may be knee-jerk reacting out of that fear.

You may want to express to him that a relationship with him is very important to you and that you need some time to ease into things and take some baby steps with it and that you need his help to accomplish that. You may also want to make it clear that you need to do this in a way that is comfortable for you and that the manner in which he went about this was hurtful to you. All of that may open some lines of communication and alleviate some fears for both of you, while at the same time establishing some much needed boundaries for you with this situation. There is no template for re-establishing relationships with estranged family, but there should always be a caring for the feelings of others.

((((((((((Viv))))))))))))))

Hang in there!!!!!!

XW

459

Xmas xchange present(s) arrived safely........

by scootergirl in

jw
friends

i have already gotten an email from someone stating that their gift arrived safely in the mail.

i thought it would be nice to start a thread where we can post what we got (for those nosey like me who want to know!

) and a thank you.. as for me, i haven't even begun yet!

xenawarrior

Scooter-

It is a MOST AWESOME pinkie ring- with a simulated emerald and vines and a FROG on it!!!!! I just love it!!!! I'm going to have to keep an eye on it and keep it on my finger because my daughter wants it too!!!

Thank you again, Plum!!!!!!!

XW

459

Xmas xchange present(s) arrived safely........

by scootergirl in

jw
friends

i have already gotten an email from someone stating that their gift arrived safely in the mail.

i thought it would be nice to start a thread where we can post what we got (for those nosey like me who want to know!

) and a thank you.. as for me, i haven't even begun yet!

xenawarrior

((((((((((((((((Scooter))))))))))))))) No- THANK YOU. Without you and all of your selfless work, none of this would be possible!!!!!!

You are the greatest, my friend!!!!!!!!!

XW

199

Green Bay Packers thread

by musky in

i thought that the best team in the nfl deserved their own thread.

actually, i am not a huge football fan.

i do not watch much sports at all.

xenawarrior

awww (((((((((((William)))))))))) I didn't know you wanted to go!!!

And yes Musky- there isn't a bad seat in the stadium!!!!!

XW

459

Xmas xchange present(s) arrived safely........

by scootergirl in

jw
friends

i have already gotten an email from someone stating that their gift arrived safely in the mail.

i thought it would be nice to start a thread where we can post what we got (for those nosey like me who want to know!

) and a thank you.. as for me, i haven't even begun yet!

xenawarrior

IT GOT HERE, IT GOT HERE!!!

OMG PLUM !!!!! It's BEAUTIFUL!!!! Thank you so much!!!

(((((((((((Plum)))))))))))) You have the best taste !!!!!!!

XW

26

I missed you all. My pants are wet with my tears

by FrankyFourVests in

jw
friends

i used to post here as naeblis but left a while back to take a bit of a break.

i've been enamoured with the name frankiefourvests lately (my great uncle frank was famous for his multiple vests) so decided to make a new username.

simon you may disable my old account at your leisure (pronounced lessure out of respect for his english slurring of our language!

xenawarrior

Hey there!!!!!!

Welcome back!!!!! Have missed you!!!

XW

22

Today I received my first birthday present EVER

by cruzanheart in

jw
friends

and it was really neat!

it felt a little strange, though.

technically, i guess this isn't my first birthday present because big tex left me a dozen roses on my car the first year we met, on the eve of my birthday (with a note that read "to my favorite middle-aged pioneer" - i married him anyway).

xenawarrior

Happy Birthday Cruzan!!!!!!!!!

XW

199

Green Bay Packers thread

by musky in

i thought that the best team in the nfl deserved their own thread.

actually, i am not a huge football fan.

i do not watch much sports at all.

xenawarrior

awwww thanks not!!!!!! My pleasure!!!!!!

And- I will be prepared!!!!! LOL

XW