xjw_b12

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Posts by xjw_b12

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  17

  Noah did not preach

  by TheListener in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  i don't believe noah preached.. the society says he did.. it's me against them - .

  genesis agrees with me and 2 peter 2:5 agrees with them.

  please provide any insight.

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  xjw_b12

  but on the other hand it makes more sense that he'd have his hands full building his water-tight pole-barn, sexing the tyranosaurs, and chartering flights back and forth to Australia to gather koalas and such.

  Dave

  Dave, you kill me
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  11

  All Those Disapponted Readers

  by ezekiel3 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  considering the impending change to a monthly awake!

  with less fluff and more "focus on the bible," i was moved to reveal the incredible loss regular readers will soon feel:

  hair i would like to express my heartfelt thanks for the article "do you worry about your hair?

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  xjw_b12

  After reading all those canned responses, I think the WTS should rename that section "From Our Writers"
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  74

  Flat Stanley needs to move on!

  by bikerchic in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  damn that boy can eat you would have thought he walked all the way from new york his last designation!

  in his defense he's also a worker, he's trimmed our cedar trees, walked the dog, cleaned up the dog's poop, did the dishes (sorry about his arms falling off, they are paper ya know), oh and he did the dishes after he cooked the dinner.........gawd do i really have to part with him?

  all in all he's a great little guy, doesn't talk much, is very well behaved and doesn't take up much room either, so anyone interested in having flat stanley be a guest please pm me with your addy first to reply is the winner but get in line for the next designation after.. here is the original link explaining all about flat stanley: .

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  xjw_b12

  If Flat Stanley wants to visit the Emerald Isle, send him to me. I'll show him the sights and get him drunk.

  A warning FunkyDerek. FlatStanley never seems to sleep, so you might find it difficult to keep up with him. And I'd hide your Playboys. Seems I have a few issues missing!
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  74

  Flat Stanley needs to move on!

  by bikerchic in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  damn that boy can eat you would have thought he walked all the way from new york his last designation!

  in his defense he's also a worker, he's trimmed our cedar trees, walked the dog, cleaned up the dog's poop, did the dishes (sorry about his arms falling off, they are paper ya know), oh and he did the dishes after he cooked the dinner.........gawd do i really have to part with him?

  all in all he's a great little guy, doesn't talk much, is very well behaved and doesn't take up much room either, so anyone interested in having flat stanley be a guest please pm me with your addy first to reply is the winner but get in line for the next designation after.. here is the original link explaining all about flat stanley: .

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  xjw_b12

  Just a suggestion. Flatsy probably has time to make at least more trip off the continent.

  Has he been to France yet? Perhaps frenchbabyface would be interesting in having him
• 
  3

  George Carlin on religion

  by poppers in

  1. social
  2. humour

  just came across this - some may be offended, but ya gotta remember, this is carlin.

  .

  http://www.objectivethought.com/atheism/carlin.html

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  xjw_b12

  THE LORDS PRAYER

  During a Papal audience, a businessman approached the Pope and made 

  this offer: Change the last line of the Lord's prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" 

  and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. 

  The Pope shook his head and said no to the offer.

  Two weeks later the businessman approached the Pope again, this time with a 50 million dollar offer. 

  Again the Pope declined.

  A month later the man offers 100 million, and this time the Pope 

  accepts. 

  At a meeting of the Cardinals, the Pope announces his decision. 

  "I have good news and bad news.   The good news is, we have 100 million

  dollars for charities. The bad news is, we lost the Wonder Bread account."
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  40

  Odd announcements at meetings/conventions

  by POs Son in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  .

  ok, here is one to enjoy:

  what odd, silly, embarassing, inappropriate or just plain weird announcements have you heard at meetings, conventions and assemblies?

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  xjw_b12

  During a service meeting on local needs an elder gets up to the podium and then someone turns off all the lights in the hall. He then pulls out a flashlight and begins to read his announcement. "If we don't receive enough donations this is how we will be conducting our meetings."

  LOL Wiping coffee off of screen. Got to give that brother a G for effective use of illustrations/props. Mine. "Brothers and Sisters. The restaurant next door has granted us permission to use the parking spots adjacent to our small lot. In return, the owner asks that we show our appreciation by patronizing his business" 6 months later: "Brothers and Sister. The restaurant next door has asked us NOT to park in their lot any more unless we are there to eat at their restaurant" Word was the restaurant wasn't seeing any increase in business from JWs, and we were parking throughout the whole lot, not just the places indicated, making it difficult for the regular patrons to find spaces. I recall the general consensus after the meeting was "Hurumph! We'll show them, we'll never eat there again" Still laughing over the flashlight incident.
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  27

  JW Bible Character Hand Puppets on Ebay!

  by Voyager in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if jws have got to go to these extremes for their kids to stay interested in their studies, perhaps some real examination of what they are studying is needed!

  nothing about jws surprises me anymore!

  http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/ebayisapi.dll?viewitem&category=16710&item=5557715913&rd=1&tc=photo .

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  xjw_b12

  New Model now Available....

  				Dazer
  				Our Price: $27.95
  				The pocket-sized Dazer works by emitting ultrasonic sound bursts which can help to prevent the approach of unwanted Jehovah's Witnesses at distances of up to 50 metres (165ft).
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  69

  SIGNS NEVER SEEN ON THE KINGDOM HALL BULLETIN BOARD.

  by TresHappy in

  1. social
  2. humour

  jehovah's witness blood drive...

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  xjw_b12

  "Awake magazine going to Monthly Printing"

  never mind.
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  13

  What sort of King would Prince Charles be?

  by onacruse in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a shameless spin-off of http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/85172/1.ashx.

  he's the one who couldn't keep his pants zipped (except when it came to diana).

  so why all this vitriol against camilla?

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  xjw_b12

  The Question should be "What sort of Queen would Prince Charles be?
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  15

  Funny Mardi Gras Picture

  by kaykay_mp in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  add a caption to this picture (this was taken at a mardi gras parade in jackson, tennessee, where my mother lives, and, no, my mother is not in this picture!

  here's mine: smiling lady: "they gave me beads to pull my shirt down!

  " bucktooth lady: (a la slingblade) "i shore do like dem beads, mmm-hmm!

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  xjw_b12

  Crowd below chanting "Keep it On, Keep it On"