Posts by zanex

11

Being truly free

by Introspection in

some of the messages on the board have prompted me to think about this a bit, seeing as how it appears to be a theme that resurfaces every so often.

actually, one of the reasons i'm posting a separate thread is that the other ones which brings this up is usually about something more specific and has gotten really long, and to be perfectly frank i don't have the time to read through it, but i think the issue is an important one.. we can be free from the wts physically, but a certain pattern of thinking sticks with us a bit longer as i'm sure many of us are well aware.

naturally, when you're out you're going to go out into the world and explore, doing this and that, the "normal" people stuff you might say.

zanex

For so long I have always viewed that brainwashing as a fuel that fires the anger which has always given me the drive and the forward motion to maintain some semblance of normalcy and sanity. Always an obstacle that gave me fire but I am at a different level now with the onset of this board. lol Kind of a general acceptance of that which I always called insanity but is now something else. I am not sure where i go from this point but I am sure that the journey will be interesting. Maybe I can be a jedi member one day too...(grin) got a long long wayz to go.

-Z-

11

Being truly free

by Introspection in

some of the messages on the board have prompted me to think about this a bit, seeing as how it appears to be a theme that resurfaces every so often.

actually, one of the reasons i'm posting a separate thread is that the other ones which brings this up is usually about something more specific and has gotten really long, and to be perfectly frank i don't have the time to read through it, but i think the issue is an important one.. we can be free from the wts physically, but a certain pattern of thinking sticks with us a bit longer as i'm sure many of us are well aware.

naturally, when you're out you're going to go out into the world and explore, doing this and that, the "normal" people stuff you might say.

zanex

Good idea. It is just that process that one has to go through to achieve that "comfort level" of being ok with one's demons. That state of mental utopia is a marvellous thought and the ideal but the actual journey is the tricky part. I like this thread. Have just recently been "coping" with some of those "demons" of the past. Yet if I look at those "demons' not as demons but as a part of the whole that I have become as a HUMAN then maybe I dont have to call them demons anymore. Just a subsection of me as a whole. Thanx intro..this thread caught my eye and perked my deep thoght motor running. I feel more alive...

-Z-

6

check out your horoscope

by peaceloveharmony in

your horoscopes, onion style :) .

aries (mar.

you will be loud, obnoxious and a little erratic this week but somehow, this will only add to your charm.

zanex

aries here and DAMN...this week definitely fits THAT description...

-Z-

52

WANTING to Believe in God

by dobby in

jw
friends

has anyone had this experience?.

after letting go of my beliefs as a jw, i felt the only alternative was to be atheist.

or maybe it is just logical to there is no god when i am only listening to my mind and not my heart.

zanex

I am not sure WHAT I believe...agnosticism is a nice blanket...belive that something exists just dont know what...or dont have the faith to buy into anything...either way thats where I am at...

-Z-

11

Being truly free

by Introspection in

some of the messages on the board have prompted me to think about this a bit, seeing as how it appears to be a theme that resurfaces every so often.

actually, one of the reasons i'm posting a separate thread is that the other ones which brings this up is usually about something more specific and has gotten really long, and to be perfectly frank i don't have the time to read through it, but i think the issue is an important one.. we can be free from the wts physically, but a certain pattern of thinking sticks with us a bit longer as i'm sure many of us are well aware.

naturally, when you're out you're going to go out into the world and explore, doing this and that, the "normal" people stuff you might say.

zanex

"why spend any time thinking about it" I think I remember back in my jdub days an elder telling me that in order for me to have a long and faithful existance as a jdub thats exactly what I had to do. "faith is the expectation of things...blah blah blah cant member the rest" but point is that weren't WE ALL trained to just believe ultimately and NOT to question? So the idea behind putting active thought into doubting those beliefs and questioning them is just what we got being "free". I would rather spend the rest of my dayz thinking about it just in the fact that it reminds me that I have the freedom to do that. Yes, thinking about THOSE days are hard sometimes...(most of the time) but I think the end result, the THINKING individual I have become is capable of handling those bad days when the "chains of the past" become heavy...I am forever bound by SOME degree of that conditioning but HOW i think about it and the uses to which I put that conditioning are what is important...AAARRGGGHHHH this thought got too deep....but I have the FREEDOM to think about it. Not sure if this made much sense...

-Z-

18

my dream last night....

by wonderwoman77 in

i had the weirdist yet very good dream last night.

i do not want to forget it, so i thought i would record it here.

in my dream i was going to a follow up play of the vagina monologues.

zanex

hmmm this is an intersting thread but alas, I find myself having a hard time relating...I stopped dreaming about a long time ago...only time I have ANY nighttime visions they turn out to be nightmares....oh well...

-Z-

16

I'M FREAKING OUT!

by SPAZnik in

today my best friend from the borg called me!

ok.. i've been officially out for almost a year now.. no contact with former "friends" & "family".. (just my mom checks up on me now and then,.

fishing for info on my "activities".

zanex

awww shucks....it wasnt nuthin...8) Just doin my own little part to help some on this board as some on this board have helped me A LOT. If yer readin this lisa u can stop smilin now. :) xjdubs of a feather fight to keep each other together...

-Z-

14

Aftermath re: Pieces of me

by Mimilly in

i was really touched by those who responded to my story.

since posting it however, i have not felt like the strong person those who replied made me out to be.. between posting my story, wanting to post my story at silentlambs, and the pure bullshit the wts is spewing and causing those honest souls who risk and are feeling the wrath of the gestapo to protect victims, i haven't slept; my nerves are on a raw edge; my migraines won't go; i'm on the verge of tears out of the blue; i'm afraid of nightfall; i'm afraid of noises, of phonecalls, of mail.

i'd kick the crap outa my heavy bag if i had the energy.

zanex

I'll keep it short and sweet...fuck em. The wtbts has screwed us ALL in one way or another. For whatever its worth I got yer back...

-Z-

33

Help! I have fallen in love with a Witness

by itsalingthing in

i recently started dating my neighbor.

a couple of nights into the late night talks, he told me the reason he hasn't dated in awhile is beacuse he is a witness.

i was surprised, but okay with it.

zanex

be warned...it can only come to no good...unless HE leaves first.

-Z-

16

I'M FREAKING OUT!

by SPAZnik in

today my best friend from the borg called me!

ok.. i've been officially out for almost a year now.. no contact with former "friends" & "family".. (just my mom checks up on me now and then,.

fishing for info on my "activities".

zanex

not to sound like a doomsayer but be careful..those still in the borg are still bound by its rules. If some random person shud happen to see the two of you together and then proceed to go straight to the local body of elders there cud be some difficulties that cud possibly come up. I miss the friends I had in the org and I would love to see them and hang out as old times but the fact remains that I am no longer part of that org. and while I am not bound by its rules I know my old, still jdub friends, are. A random surge of "spititual guilt" could send a dub on the fence straight to the body of elders...I been stabbed in the back by those wolf in sheeps clothing once and thats all it took. Anyway...if all is ok for you then by all means ENJOY yer friend for whatever it is worth...

-Z-