Isuppose knowing sign language gave me a "leg up" I was interpreting in front of the cong at an early age and that was pre-baptism. Post baptism I was interpreting the memorial...shortly after that I was given the boot tho...lol. All before I was 17! It makes me chuckle now...
Posts by zanex
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19Advanatage you had over Others
by JH inwhat advantage did you have over others in your congregation that helped you look spiritual?
health advantage?
social advantage?
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79
everyone voice in
by peacefulpete inplease express in 0ne to three words why you are on this web site.
: angry,confused and desperate,lonely,seeking affirmation,saving souls,to expose evil,curious about apostates, like being naughty, etc.
please limit comment to 3 or less words.
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zanex
sanity, comedy, therapy...
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6
Daughter's bday!
by zanex intmw is my little girls birthday!!!
me and her mom are gonna have a bday party for her tmw!
i am way stoked!
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zanex
Tmw is my little girls BIRTHDAY!!! Me and her mom are gonna have a bday party for her tmw! I am way stoked! I got her some cool gifts and am way looking forward to watchin her go through it. will take lots of pix and if I can figure out how I will post em on the board. She will be all of TWO years old! My ex-wife and current girlfriend are gonna meet tmw too. My ex promised to be civil and nice to her. So should be fun!
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40
I'M HAVING MY BABY
by bluesapphire ini just wanted to let you know that i'm having my only son tomorrow at 4:00 pm by cesarean section.
i'll be away for a while and when i come back i don't know how much time i'll have but i wanted you all to know.
i'll post the details when i get home monday or tuesday..
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zanex
CONGRATS! my little girl will be 2 this sat..cherish EVERY moment for they go so fast...
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44
Who still goes to meetings?
by christopherceo injust a curious question to see what types of stories i get.
let's hear how you do it.
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zanex
BWAHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (does that answer yer question?)
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9
zanex retires
by zanex inhis anger...i think that i have gotten to a point where all the anger that i have been holding onto for all of these years is not doing me any good...i actually got into a conversation with my better half in which she told me that she was tired of the constant self-abuse that i put myself through.
i have been df'd for a long time and i have had time to get used to the fact that if my family ever wants to have contact with me it will be if they give up their religious beliefs..i can no longer allow the anger to eat at me...it isnt doing anything good for me.
i dont want to be angry anymore.... blind rage controls.
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zanex
pettygrudger:" Its funny, because as a JW I NEVER thought I was a good person - I think that's whats programmed into one first - that we're all "sinners" who are one small action away from total damnation & eternal death......and then when confirmation is made via "df'ing" " this is the absloute truth...I like what ya said. It made me look back on my days as a jw..I dont ever really recall feeling good about myself...and that sentence really made me look back. I feel better about myself now than i ever did as a practicing jw..
rodbar: If some small thing that I put down on this computer screen touched you then it was well worth it. The words are small but they have meaning behind them that only a select group of people can understand fully. I am glad that I have been able to relate. That wounded exjw that I was is finally healing...the poetry is a reflecton of that healing process and one that I am glad to be able to share with others. :)
-Z-
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10
The Hate of Winter
by Robdar inone day my flowers died, .
wilted from not enough rain.
the petals fell to the ground.
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zanex
robyn, I like it. I have been there..I have felt those words before. the mixture of calm depression and the shock of killing oneself...I like it. I have not been in that place in a long long time but I definitely remember being there. It's amazing what comes out of our minds when we just let go and let fly what the raw feeling and emotion we happen to be experiencing is saying to us. Cathartic tho isnt it?
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9
zanex retires
by zanex inhis anger...i think that i have gotten to a point where all the anger that i have been holding onto for all of these years is not doing me any good...i actually got into a conversation with my better half in which she told me that she was tired of the constant self-abuse that i put myself through.
i have been df'd for a long time and i have had time to get used to the fact that if my family ever wants to have contact with me it will be if they give up their religious beliefs..i can no longer allow the anger to eat at me...it isnt doing anything good for me.
i dont want to be angry anymore.... blind rage controls.
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zanex
animal: LOL I like that...
bikerchic: I have had quite a few of those "light bulb moments" recently, as you so eloquently phrased it. (I liked that btw) Yah there is nothing wrong with that...and damn if it doesnt feel good being able to say that and mean it. (sheepish grin)
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9
zanex retires
by zanex inhis anger...i think that i have gotten to a point where all the anger that i have been holding onto for all of these years is not doing me any good...i actually got into a conversation with my better half in which she told me that she was tired of the constant self-abuse that i put myself through.
i have been df'd for a long time and i have had time to get used to the fact that if my family ever wants to have contact with me it will be if they give up their religious beliefs..i can no longer allow the anger to eat at me...it isnt doing anything good for me.
i dont want to be angry anymore.... blind rage controls.
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zanex
pettygrudger: thanx..I dont have any expectations that my parents will ever be back in my life like I woulld lilke them to be but it isnt going to stop me from moving on myself. :) I just had to get a hard thwack on the side of the head and it made me see some things that I hadnt seen before.
bikerchic: I'll have to check out that book..I hadnt heard of it before but the title does sound like something interesting. I will definitely check into it. I find that I express my thoughts/feelings better in poetry form..not sure why but it seems to work. Thanks for the compliment! I really HAD gotten to that point where I was/am fed up with all the stupid crap that was doing nothing but holding me back. It is easier now too...the last 2 mornings I have woken up and felt HAPPY...I liked myself more than I had ever before. I had thought for so long that just because I was not in the borg anymore that they had no more control over me, but the truth of the matter is that since I got "disfellowshipped" I had thought of myself as a bad person...damn brainwashing...:) Anyway...thanx again..
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9
zanex retires
by zanex inhis anger...i think that i have gotten to a point where all the anger that i have been holding onto for all of these years is not doing me any good...i actually got into a conversation with my better half in which she told me that she was tired of the constant self-abuse that i put myself through.
i have been df'd for a long time and i have had time to get used to the fact that if my family ever wants to have contact with me it will be if they give up their religious beliefs..i can no longer allow the anger to eat at me...it isnt doing anything good for me.
i dont want to be angry anymore.... blind rage controls.
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zanex
his anger...I think that I have gotten to a point where all the anger that I have been holding onto for all of these years is not doing me any good...I actually got into a conversation with my better half in which she told me that she was tired of the constant self-abuse that I put myself through. I have been df'd for a long time and I have had time to get used to the fact that if my family ever wants to have contact with me it will be if they give up their religious beliefs..I can no longer allow the anger to eat at me...it isnt doing anything good for me. I dont want to be angry anymore...
blind rage controls
animosity kills
I no longer want either
to do as they will
I am free from my chains
free from the pains
I need to give life a chance
no more hateful rain
for so long I fed off of the malice
feasted on emotional scars
no more...
I am bringing down my cage, breaking the bars
I need to release
the grief
put to peace
the beast
-Z-