Ballistic: this initial post struck a big nerve with me....I am not the biggest poster in the world but what little i have to say means quite a bit to me...the validity of this site lies within the power that the whole has grown due to individual shunning received from the society in a variety of ways. The old men in bethel probably dont think that there is much life for those of us who have been tossed out like some old garbage but when you put all of us together on a board such as this a new life grows and develops all on its own. Validity....and in the same breath we were called petulant children....I have a five year old and I dont even refer to HER as petulant....but you never fully know what grows in the minds of others...its that freedom that allows even those types of posters to say what they like...I am just laughing this off now...:) thanx tho!
Posts by zanex
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69The Point of this Site?
by Samael inforgive me if i sound rude or this question has been answered elsewhere, as i am a neophyte and discovered your site through google in my religious studies.
from reading the various posts it seems that this site serves nothing more than an iconoclastic purpose.
was your experience as jw's so traumatic that now you can but put forth such effort to daemonize the religion?
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69
The Point of this Site?
by Samael inforgive me if i sound rude or this question has been answered elsewhere, as i am a neophyte and discovered your site through google in my religious studies.
from reading the various posts it seems that this site serves nothing more than an iconoclastic purpose.
was your experience as jw's so traumatic that now you can but put forth such effort to daemonize the religion?
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zanex
having gone through years of the active cult while inside the society it is nice to finally have the ability to talk to someone without fear of instant judgement but at the same time someone who understands the type of dependancy the JW belief instills within its rank and file members...the years of self destructive behavior that I went through immediately following my ousting of the jw circle almost ended my life on several occasions...if there would have been someone to talk to that would have understood maybe it wouldnt have gotten so bad...I, for one lost my parents, sister and every "friend" I had had since i was a child. I was left with nobody...when I come here I know that I am not nor have I EVER been alone with these thoughts and/or feelings implanted there by the religious system of control we have all come from on one level or another. Life is good, great, better than its ever been-now but I will, no, I CANT ever forget what happend during those years...the mental, spiritual, emotional just EVERYTHING in life went boom...as long as I come here I know that i was never alone in my insanity and I will never be alone again....
Thats the "point" of this site to me....
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Life Update
by zanex inok..well i havent done one of these "life updates" in some time but i just relaized the other day that the only time i post on here is when something bad or something that triggers a bad memory hapens.
i dont think that i want this to be only reason...i have read others on this board trying to celebrate the advancement and happiness of life post df'edness.
life is just that right now-beautiful.
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zanex
Ok..well i havent done one of these "life updates" in some time but I just relaized the other day that the only time I post on here is when something bad or something that triggers a bad memory hapens. I dont think that I want this to be only reason...I have read others on this board trying to celebrate the advancement and happiness of life post df'edness. Life is just that right now-beautiful. I have just moved into a new place with my significant other of now 2 years (longest relationship ever) and with the onset of an awesome job that takes care of me better than I ever thought possible things just seem to be on a very positive upswing for me.
I even had the opportunity to go toe to toe with an active jw at my new job which just happened to have jw's that knew my parents very well...go fig. I was asked point blank to my face in our work break room if I was disfellowshipped...my first impulse was to be honest...why not? whats the worst that could happen? yah right..I really should have known better. I brought it up to management and immediate action was taken and I was able to confront that jw and let that person know I did not accept her asking me that question as it has very direct negative feelings for me and a negative "brand"...she looked dumb for a bit and said "but nobody was around.." I have a photographic memory and those years of being df'd just add to my whole clarity ability...anyhow to make a long story short I got my piece out and management was rigth behind me and the jw was forced to apologize to me and say that it would never happen again...
Did I win something? Hmmmm well yes and no i suppose...some small measure of respect in that I didint let it bother me that much but I let it be known that it was not acceptable to say such things. On the other hand I did tell her the truth...the first words out of my mouth were, " yes I am df'd but it is a part of my life that I do not allow to identify who or what I am." maybe i should have just said I would rather not answer that question...oh well. Thereafter she and her husband (an elder who is very close to my pops and moms and sis) and several other witnesses who work there as well have given me the "smile and nod" treatment....good thing the rest of the office is either married but crazy odd married people or gay men and lesbian women...it does make the work environment a bit easier.
Anyhow..thats all I have to say...I just wanted to take the time to post something good and with a positive feeling behind it.
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6
funny coincidence
by zanex inahhh as the dreaded holiday nisan 14 swiftly approaches i chuckle as it also nears my birthday which happens to fall on the 12th of april...ahhh feels great sharing my most unjw of holidays with the most jw of their holidays...lol.
i think back to all those years of going to that stupid meeting and laugh now...wonder if i should find a kingdom hall, walk in quietly and kind of undercover and when it comes time to sing their "melodies' break into a loud rousing chorus of happy birthday to me!
that would be classic...sigh.
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zanex
halllo everyone! it was and has been a interesting week what with the memorial, my birthday and easter all within one week. It never rains but it pours...and what with the standing up to my parents I have been wiped. I hope next year is easier. At one time that screen name of mine was an actual reference to the medication but not in a long time. I made the slight changes, x to that z but the same underlying idea is there...some type of assistance to make it possible to make it through a day...anyhow. Check ya!
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6
funny coincidence
by zanex inahhh as the dreaded holiday nisan 14 swiftly approaches i chuckle as it also nears my birthday which happens to fall on the 12th of april...ahhh feels great sharing my most unjw of holidays with the most jw of their holidays...lol.
i think back to all those years of going to that stupid meeting and laugh now...wonder if i should find a kingdom hall, walk in quietly and kind of undercover and when it comes time to sing their "melodies' break into a loud rousing chorus of happy birthday to me!
that would be classic...sigh.
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zanex
lol...partying like its 1999 is a given it just was funny to me, the idea of going to the hall on the memorial...and aint that the truth a big ol waste of time...ill take that advice misspeaches...wanna join? ;) lol
and my life has always seemed to take on some type of random coincidence...lol.
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funny coincidence
by zanex inahhh as the dreaded holiday nisan 14 swiftly approaches i chuckle as it also nears my birthday which happens to fall on the 12th of april...ahhh feels great sharing my most unjw of holidays with the most jw of their holidays...lol.
i think back to all those years of going to that stupid meeting and laugh now...wonder if i should find a kingdom hall, walk in quietly and kind of undercover and when it comes time to sing their "melodies' break into a loud rousing chorus of happy birthday to me!
that would be classic...sigh.
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zanex
ahhh as the dreaded holiday nisan 14 swiftly approaches I chuckle as it also nears my birthday which happens to fall on the 12th of april...ahhh feels great sharing my most unjw of holidays with the most jw of their holidays...lol. I think back to all those years of going to that stupid meeting and laugh now...wonder if I should find a kingdom hall, walk in quietly and kind of undercover and when it comes time to sing their "melodies' break into a loud rousing chorus of happy birthday to me! That would be classic...sigh. Anyhow...im jsut hanging at the office chilling..thot id post..hadnt posted in some time.
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40
Another Newbie :)
by merfi init's hard to know where to begin, so i'll just... begin.. i had my first encounter with jw in high school when my now ex-husband moved into our small town.
(you're doing the math already, aren't ya?
:) ) after finding out he was a jw, i did a little bit of reading into it, which he discouraged... told me that that stuff is "apostate" (i had no idea what that meant) and that he'd give me stuff to read.
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zanex
Merfi: welcome to this little corner of insanity that seems to become rather clear the longer you look at it. I havent posted a welcome in some time but welcome to the board..I found a sense of community that had been taken away from me long ago....it gets easier. Rambling helps though and it wasnt so hard getting through your story...there were details I didnt really have to read specifically. SMILE! Anyhow enjoy freedom...there is a real light at the end of the JW tunnel...funny its on the way out..lol
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42
Any gamers out there?
by dinah inhey peeps!
any of you into video games?
seems there would be a few who are because they are some cool people here.
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zanex
me a big GTA san andreas player the last few months...something about running my own criminal empire does something for the conditioning I got as a child..Just picked up a kind of an "old western" shoot em up game with gta esque moves. Its called "DEAD" It is kind of a follow up to the first one "red dead revolver" its like old school clint eastwood shoot em up..kinda enjoyin it.
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14
Hypothetical situation...
by zanex insuppose for one minute that a disfellowshipped son that has been df'd for over 10 years and gone through al of the stages of emotional and mental departure that one goes through when leaving the agency..erg...society.
now that df'd son's father is an elder and his mother is the standard female figure within a jw marriage and neither one of them had any meaningful contact with their son for a long long time.
now this son has already given up on them long ago but now there have been some indications that things are changing...the father stepped down as an elder...the son heard that there were "spiritual issues" with them...and all of a sudden there have been emails from the parents as if they still consider themselves parents...eventhough the son has already more than moved on.
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zanex
ok ao the whole "son" bit wasnt really disguised...its my pop...it has been so long and i have become so desensitized to those that would normally be called "family". Do not get me wrong I do have something that I choose to call parental respect and a feeling of some type of love for them but it is nothing close to what is typically felt by those of "worldly" families. I have developed a family of my own and it has taken my significant other quite some time to even convince ME of the fact that unconditional love does in fact exist so for my parents appearance upon my current stage of life is awkward...
Everyones comments ring true in some sense or another, but in the final analysis I am the one to make the "executive decision" as it were. As of this point my relationship with them is kind od in a "holding pattern" as I have not heard anything directly earth-shatteringly changing. Just small things here and there that are almost indicative of something more...deeper. I dunno...some small wishful thinking I am sure that wasnt washed out by the years of self-abuse..lol. Thanks for all the suggestions, comments and apparent reconnections here!
Lis...no worries, I am pretty busy this weekend with some random freelance work...ill call sometime on sunday..ish..a ton has changed since last we chatted! Ill see ya then!
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14
Hypothetical situation...
by zanex insuppose for one minute that a disfellowshipped son that has been df'd for over 10 years and gone through al of the stages of emotional and mental departure that one goes through when leaving the agency..erg...society.
now that df'd son's father is an elder and his mother is the standard female figure within a jw marriage and neither one of them had any meaningful contact with their son for a long long time.
now this son has already given up on them long ago but now there have been some indications that things are changing...the father stepped down as an elder...the son heard that there were "spiritual issues" with them...and all of a sudden there have been emails from the parents as if they still consider themselves parents...eventhough the son has already more than moved on.
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zanex
Lisa! Hey there! Spaghetti factory sounds awesome..i dont have yer nmbr anymore...my last phone met with an unfortunate accident in a toilet..sigh.