thank you nelly.
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zev
Now feeling the pain of sitting on the pickets class.
today, i had a long, long talk with my employer.
this person is some one who can seperate work and personal things, so after feeling like i needed to talk to someone, and soon, before i crack up, i went to her and dropped the bomb.
she is not a witness, and because i cannot talk to a witness about what i have learned, for fear of the df'ing thingy, i feel safe in talking to her.
thank you nelly.
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zev
Now feeling the pain of sitting on the pickets class.
today, i had a long, long talk with my employer.
this person is some one who can seperate work and personal things, so after feeling like i needed to talk to someone, and soon, before i crack up, i went to her and dropped the bomb.
she is not a witness, and because i cannot talk to a witness about what i have learned, for fear of the df'ing thingy, i feel safe in talking to her.
Today, I had a long, long talk with my employer. this person is some one who can seperate work and personal things, so after feeling like i needed to talk to someone, and soon, before i crack up, i went to her and dropped the bomb. she is not a witness, and because i cannot talk to a witness about what i have learned, for fear of the df'ing thingy, i feel safe in talking to her. one thing that came out of it....i need some sort of help. this i already knew. some sort of councelling and or support group. she is very involved in the community and said she can make some calls for me to put me in touch with the right people. she knew i was a witness, but we never talked much obout it. i explained how i've been struggling with my new found discoveries and that although i had set up a time table that i figured i could eventually walk away, i was having great difficulty because it has been eating at me. i gave her specific examples of how i felt and things i've learned, though i had to make a simplistic approach because she really knows little about us. then the eventual topic arose, how was i going to tell my wife? how would she handle it? things are already strained and everytime i miss a meeting, like tonights, i get nothing but discust from her. how can i tell her?, i said. she has 2 choices, believe me, or stick with the borg and turn me in. it isnt an easy decision, and i do not know what to do. my feeling is once she realizes that i have seen the "light" our marriage will be over. and like i said, its already strained, and imho, its been over a long time. maybe the one thing thats held us together is our belief in this religion. now, thats over.
so my question, after all that is, for those that are/were married in the bog, how did you do it? what approach did you take? is one way better than another? and in the end, did it work out as you had planned? and please any other information that you think would help. i'm already facing my crossroads, and it isnt only one, its two crossroads. its decision time.
thank you.
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zev
Now feeling the pain of sitting on the pickets
since drifting from the org over the last year or so i have been slowly updating my clothes.
i thought maybe it was just me who had been dressing like a middle aged matron since i was 23 but whilst talking to a young xsister recently i learnt that she too has thrown out most of the clothes she used to wear whilst a dub.. has anyone else found themselves doing this, and is it just a female thing?
mommy, your so on the edge
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zev
Sitting on the Wrong Side of the Fence Class
this is brief because family members have asked that i remain low-key for the present when on public forums regarding this specific case.
i have provided greater details in a private forum.. many of you may recall my justice series on h20 where i dealt with the issue of pedophiles among jws, often drawn from my experience as an elder.
while serving as an elder i did object to the failure of elders to report pedophiles to the authorities.
The time has come indeed!
Amazing, i don't think i've read anything by you before this, but I am moved to say, your not alone. My own sister has recently informed me of molestation that went on many years ago. This "minister of god" a "ministerial servant" tryed on more than one occasion to molest her. She, like many victims of this type of action from people in these positions, became a silent lamb. This minister of god, was a person who I had stand up in my wedding party for me. This minister of god still holds a position in the j.w. "church" and one only can think, "how many others did he try this on"? I, amazing, am still "in" till I sort out what to do with myself, and how I can possibly share what I've learned with my wife. Though my sister "left" the truth{???} many years ago, I've asked her to join us here. Maybe she has put it behind her, but the scars are still there. I've also turned her to silentlambs site as well. This site, and the many fine people on it have been a great support to me in ways they will never know. Thank you all.
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zev
Sitting on the Wrong Side of the Fence Class
just throwin' this on the table:.
who are those people outside of the conventions every year with signs?
we always called them apostates, but who knew?
i rememeber in the late 70's early 80's seeing the signs, pickets and posters. i have not seen them in a very long time. i will tell you this, if i ever see them outside again, i'll make sure i give a fine 'how do you do' to them. i won't treat them as i did back in the 70's/80's. this time, i'll be a christian about it.
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zev
Sitting on the Wrong Side of the Fence Class
when i was 13, all of the other kids in my congregation were taking home school, getting them out of the "bad association" in public school.
they talked me into it too.. of course, at 13 trying to get me to actually do the schooling was a feat that no one could master.. i worked for a brother in the cong.
full time, and never finished the schooling.. so...flash forward.
btw, i enjoyed the south park thing. your talented....any way to get paid for that talent you have?
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zev
Sitting on the Wrong Side of the Fence Class
when i was 13, all of the other kids in my congregation were taking home school, getting them out of the "bad association" in public school.
they talked me into it too.. of course, at 13 trying to get me to actually do the schooling was a feat that no one could master.. i worked for a brother in the cong.
full time, and never finished the schooling.. so...flash forward.
just a thought? how about trying for your g.e.d.
it doesnt take up to much time and you should be able to squeeze it in between work, and home life. and meetings, if your still attending. {sorry, i dont know what made me say that }
and you'll at least have the high school diploma that way. just my 2 cents dude.
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zev
Sitting on the Wrong Side of the Fence Class
here`s a true story that will gladden the heart of anyone who`s been cut dead because of the wtbts unsriptural and barbaric shunning policy.. some time ago i was contacted by my old friend fred.
he lives in portsmouth, my old stomping ground and the scene of my dfing.
(i was dfd for not accepting dfing.).
englishman....
some time ago we chatted about the different words the english used as compared to us americans.
Me: "You lying little sod.
can you explain to me how the british came up with that sod word? why they use it and where its appropriate to do so? i watched an english mini series on pbs a couple years ago and that word was being tossed about and i couldnt get the connection. but i did figure out, it wasnt flattering,
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zev
Sitting on the Wrong Side of the Fence Class
on your way out, did you have the 'talk' with an elder?
(or elders?
) the kind of, 'excuse me, brother only-elder-who-i-really-trust, i've been having serious doubts about such-and-such and i would really appreciate it if you could help me see if i'm missing something, i sincerely want to know...'.
yes, i talked to the elders.
this is my experience. i married a ready made family. i have no kids of my own, just the step kids. they are grown now, married and living near us, reletively speaking. my story goes back to a time when the youngest one was having problems. i cant describe what the "child" did as a youngster of about, maybe 10-12 years old, as i still must protect my anonyminity. it did however involve the courts, and the law. we we ordered to seek professional help. we complied. it might have been more helpfull than the help i sought from the elders. when i approached them upon learning of what was done by "child", i did so thinking, they are trained to help with these kinds of things, and they can direct us on what to do, as i was still learning how to bring up kids, i didnt know half of what i thought i did. but alas, thats where my mistake was made, i thought they would help. when we asked to meet with a couple of elders for advise, and how well the words still ring in my ears now, i'll never forget sitting down and after telling mr. p.o. what happened, the look on his face and the words spoken, "if i had know it was this serious, i would have requested another elder to be here, this is a judicial commitee matter." i was shocked. the "child" was not baptized. at the time there was not the situation where people were viewed as unbaptized publishers or not. the way they dealt with them was to shun even someone who was not baptized. i forget the exact terminoligy. those of you who have been around a long time know what i mean. anyways they help i received was that the "child" was in effect disfellowshipped, and no one could talk with the "child", or associated with the "child". we fought. we took the "child" to professionals and doctors. rather, my wife did. i called the c.o. out of assembly to talk to him. in the end the child was announced as an unfit associate, someone to be shunned. this at 10-12 years old. this started my down slide as a servant of the borg, as i look back now. how could this be done to someone who wasn't a baptized slave of the borg? i questioned the elders as to my standing, i didnt think i should remain as a m.s. they said it was ok to remain as such, i questioned that. for my own reasons. i thought i had failed. as a father, as a servant of god, and as someone respected in the congregation. i remained a m.s. at their request. for a while. in the mean time my "child" needless to say could not be talked to. which meant, we became a little closer, because rather than my wife suffer the shame of leaving the meetings right away to take the "child" out to the car, i did it. we had a regular appointment on saturdays, community service, which i brought the "child" to most of the time. the "child" actually grew fond of it. i dont know who helped more, in the "childs" recovery, the law, and their decisions, or the elders in shunning a child. in the end, the "child turned out to be a very responsible young "child". married and is expecting a child soon. yes, the "child" is STILL in the borg. as i am for the moment. i guess i'll be a granpa of sorts. but those thoughts nag at me continually, why? was it the right thing to do? would that happen now if faced with a child who had done the same sort of thing? in the end, i'd have to say, for me, going to the elders was a mistake. though they would have found out eventually, i think i made the wrong moves. for the "right" reasons, as i saw them at that time. a few years later, i came to my crossroads. even without quite understanding why, i wrote a letter stating i wanted to be removed as a servant. i stated simply i could no longer fullfill those responsibilitys requested of me. and rather than give it to the p.o., i gave it directly to the c.o. when he came to visit. that caused a big problem. everyone wanted to help me now. i said thanks, but no thanks. even now, i'm due for a sheparding call. they want me to step up to the plate. why should i? all i get is curve balls. even pedro martinez throws a heater once in a while.
thats my story of going to the elders. my recomendation is don't do it unless your ready for the trial.
thanks for letting me blow off some steam.
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zev
Sitting on the Wrong Side of the Fence Class
she was a fine sister with a history that went back six generations with jehovahs witnesses.
her family boasted well over 1000 jw family members, many of which had high station within the organization.
this proud heritage was marred by another fact in the familys history this sister had not disclosed.
Hey Fred....
pucker up ( | )
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zev
Sitting on the Wrong Side of the Fence Class