how do you feel about yourself?
do you struggle with what kind of person that you are?
do you feel happy, empty, or are are you apathetic?
I think we need a certain amount of self-appreciation no matter what our situation, that's true. But our actions can help us have apositive attitude - forinstance, my father might have cancer, but at least I am the kind of person that will help him through it, right?
Hm.
CZAR
how do you feel about yourself?
do you struggle with what kind of person that you are?
do you feel happy, empty, or are are you apathetic?
I measure my self-worth by how well I treat people, including myself. That's the part that I had to learn from anywhere but the dubs. I create a lot of poetry, drama, and fiction, and therefore I can find fulfillment in that. I read, and learn, and there is a measure of self-worth in how much knowledge I am able to learn and pass on to others. I love to study history, partly because it helps me keep my miniscule problems in perspective, and partly because it helps me see how far mankind has come, especially in the past five hundred years or so.
If I can help in some small way to make the world a better, safer, more decent place for people to live in, then I feel like I've done something valuable and that I mean something. I try to help other dubs that have escaped for whatever reason - walking them through the various stages and helping THEM develop stable personalities.
Every so often, I get down on myself, and I realize just how insidious the influence of the cult was, how utterly soul-destroying. EVERYTHING was placed into a skewed perspective. Do I brush my teeth today? Not because I like my teeth, but because I might stumble a brother if I didn't. Do I pursue college? Not if I'm setting spiritual goals like volunteer work at Bethel. My self-worth was placed at an unattainable level, a carrot forever dangling inches from my nose no matter how fast I ran. I couldn't please anybody, and constantly the call was "Do more! Give more! Be better! More effective!"
Now I gradually build a life, a real, meaningful life of today and tomorrow.\
You know, if a company had treated me like the cult did, I would have quit myu job. But I kept seeking to be accepted by those nutters.
Screw em. LIve for today! Tomorrow is a nightmare!
CZAR
i was just wondering what was the most astounding thing you guys have had a jw say to you.
whether it was while you were still in the borg or after you left.
i've heard some rather funny stories on this subject.
The little blue men in white hats are obviously Hollywood's attempt to seduce the youth of Jehovah into demon worship, witht heir heathen chant of "la la la" and their MAGIC! There is no record of the ancient Israelites watching the smurfs or attending Smurfs on Ice, so why should true Christians today choose to partake of the table of demons?
The most outrageous thing I've ever heard was when the CO accused Star Trek of promoting bestiality - because of Kirk's proclivities with alien women.
CZAR
does the wt and jw big boys tolerate alcoholism among themselves?.
alcohol is very popular among jw heavy-weights and their wives.
ask any bethelite.
Well, you can't condemn anyone for owning a liquor cabinet. It's a nice thing to have, especially well-stocked. There's nothing wrong with drinking, or being intoxicated, or whatever. The Bible, even translated literally, is unabashedly pro-booze.
I agree the stance is hypocritical, but what the hey, why are we trying to correct all the hypocrisies of a religion we've abandoned? Screw em. If they want to drink themselves to death, that's fine with me.
CZAR
if i'm not feeling any less sour.
i promise myself to treat myself.
and visit a nearby tower.
Dolphins?
Never trust a species that smiles all the time. They're up to something. - Terry Pratchett
CZAR of the red-faced class
if i'm not feeling any less sour.
i promise myself to treat myself.
and visit a nearby tower.
Hey man,
Your god did not abandon you - He set you free from a cult. A painful process, but necessary if you are to grow as a person.
Hey, God loves you. It's a cliche, but the reason cliches become cliches is that they are the hammer and screwdriver in the toolboxes of communication.
Your poetry is frightening in its intensity, honest in its emotion.
Please be not so sad. Hanging out at an Apostafest is the best way to begin a new life. I will pray for you.
CZAR
i just can't wait!
letz skip right to my favorite part.
happeeeeee new year everybuddy!
For the new year I plan to put my war against the WT into higher gear. If you tremble in fear at the size of my campaign when it is revealed, fear not my fellow apostate horde members, for it shall all be over by [next] Christmas... or will it? I smell a trilogy in the works here, maybe even an L. Ron Hubbard size ten book epic! Hee hee hee!
Czar of the up to something class
i am the guy my wife left me 3.5 wks ago i have been married for 23 years i am a apostate ihave a lot of friends my kids told me to divorce her and go on i have never had so many girls asked me out before she said its over i am 41 i would like some feedback farkel alan barb any body she knows i dont cheat drink drugs my grand kids and kids and my friends and school are my life plus riding.
i was with some of my friends today that are ha motercycle club.
they want me to go out and hook up some of there biker chicks i like some feed back i am sure its over
"what would you do if you had a million dollars?"
"Two chicks at the same time, man."
That's my advice. 2 chicks at the same time. Biker chicks if possible. Wear a condom. Have fun.
CZAR of the unrepentant after being disfellowshipped class
does anyone remember particularly evil wives of circuit overseers?.
i remember one, a little chinese "lady" known as norma.
absolutely hated kids.
I don't usually like to get involved in this kind of thread - I feel that it is very easy to criticize people in the CO's position. They've dedicated their lives to something [no matter what we think of the theology] and most of them really try to do a good job as they see it. Conflicts with them are often because they are tired, or stupid, or depressed - in a word, HUMAN.
Some of them are arrogant beyond belief, that is true, including a few that I've known personally. But so was I some time ago, before Jehovah taught me humility by facing me with my own imperfections.
HOWEVER, these sessions can be beneficial because they let some venting take place. So, while I don't want to nitpick, I'm going to.
One CO told me that I should stay away from the girls and go to Bethel.
Another asked me what my goals were, and when he found out I was going to college, he almost had a conniption at my lack of spirituality.
That second one's wife proceeded to grill me for a few hours while out in service telling me that I should be thinking of going to Bethel. I nearly wanted to tell her that I'd been diagnosed with bipolar affective disorder just two weeks before [after an act of public self-mutilation] except I was trying to get all that crap behind me. So I just sat and smiled, and nodded and said that they needed to get off my case.
And the CO tried to get me out in streetwork in my hometown, just two weeks after I almost killed myself in public. Suffice to say, I wonder what kind of witness that would have given: MADMAN WITH FRESH SCARS PREACHES DOOM!!!
And that CO [no wonder I didn't exactly enjoy his stay] proceeded to ask me in front of everyone at a service group if I wanted to go to Bethel. I said no. He said I should. I said "oh boy" really loudly and in a very sarcastic tone of voice.
I find Bipolar affective disorder to be a wonderful tool for mouthing off to authority figures. Huzzah for the madness, the fire and the fury, the spittle in the corner of my mouth.
CZAR
many opinions have been expressed on this board as to what is killing the society today.
i am positive that issues such as the un scandal, the pedophile issue, etc.
are having a negative effect and contributing to a general slackening off and sense of malaise amongst the rank and file.
A drove is, appropriately enough, a large group of sheep, larger than a flock.
I don't know. Scientology is a nakedly transparent embezzlement scheme, but people still follow it. Everyone thought that Christ would come back in 1000 AD, but there are still Catholics. People thought the world was ending in 1348's Black Death, but civilization kept going on - there's a sucker born every minute, and all that matters is that individuals can set themselves free if they want to see the lack of foundation behind religion.
CZAR
