I did believe in him. At one point, however, I simply screamed out "F*** You Jehovah, I dont f***ing care anymore, kill me now, i'm begging you!" Im still alive. So there's no god IMHO.
Hardly anyone would answer that request. If God were malevolent, He would keep you alive to enjoy your suffering. If He were indifferent, he would ignore you. If He were benevolent, He would keep you alive to try to improve your mindset and your relationship with Him.
Ergo, in any case, the request to die is not rational and cannot be expected to be answered.
But isn't God, Jehovah God, the Old Testament Fire and Wrath Bugger, supposed to Smite on Demand?
Maybe the Bible is a lie... but that doesn't mean the God doesn't exist. What do you need from a God? That's where you'll find Him. Some people just need an uninvolved kind of Celestial Maintenance Man, and that's what they get.
Personally, I needed a King. And that's what I found.
CZAR