Posts by oldcrowwoman

i'm wondering if i should just "come out of the closet" and tell my family i don't believe it anymore and da myself or don't make any noise and fade out?

what are the benefits or problems with either choice?

additionally, some have expressed concern over da.

Well DA'ed and Df'ed. you are treated the same shuning practises. DF'ed of my understanding is thats a possibility of being re-instated. DA"ed you are totally wipe off the earth. Supposedly one did'nt belief the org doctrines.

I was DA'ed because of the lack of understanding and support dealing with Domestic Abuse. My issues were not about doctrines but basic human rights.

I support you in whatever decision you take thats right for you. And gives you a peace of mind.

Wish the best.

OCW

8

WHATS THE REASON? the PART TWO

by elumn8_2 in

jw
friends

start of part two!!.

disfellowshipping happens a lot and for many different reasons why.

lets say you were smoking, this is a habbit that is not too easy to treat.

oldcrowwoman

welcome elumn8-2

I understand that you are new here. Its a good place to connect in receiving support in what ever issues you are dealing with. Many resources to plug into. I encourage you in taking care of your self.

I don't respond to scriptual matters. I do on human matters. I get the sense that you are a young man.

I need to address some issues here. Regarding Gay people. I don't know where you received information regarding gay people. Who ever is mis-informed.

I am a Lesbian. I grew up with a mother and father.I was'nt in the girl scouts or the homemakers club. I wanted to be involve in the future farmers of america. No cigar for a girl. I did'nt just acquire being gay. I was born to be gay. Like you are born a hetrosexual. Took me 39 yrs later for me to figure it out. If you like you can read my postings regarding homosexuality.

I am a recoverying alcoholic 19 yrs and smoke free 5 yrs. Survivor of abuses and my children too.

I was pushed out of the org. dealing with domestic abuse shortly DA'ed self.

Being disfellowship or DA'ed is unloving act towards others, dealing with the shunning. Is not something a god would want people to endure. Its totally wrong!!!

I wish you well on your journey.

All the Best, OCW

62

Would you change user name?

by JH in

jw
friends

.

if you had to choose another user name, what would you choose?.

oldcrowwoman

I am known in many circles as oldcrowwoman. She's a part of me as to who I am

Some are uncomfortable as to "old" thats okay. I don't have a proplem with it .

But I will keep her.

OCW

6

Hiding your past

by JH in

jw
friends

.

when you make new friends, do you tell them that you already belonged to the jehovah witnesses or do you rather keep that secret?.

are you afraid that they would treat you as a nut, if you admit that belonged to that religion?.

oldcrowwoman

JH I appreciate your one liners. Its a way of planting seeds for others to expound on the question. I see it as a way to pull threads from the past.

No I have'nt hidden my past as being a jw. For the most part when making the statement of being a exjw .to others. The response is surprised that I was involved. And its out of character for me. I pride on being different anyway. So it adds character

Its interesting over the years sharing my connection and my experiences with the org. They express their outrage and anger with the ill treatment of shunning. So I have planted seeds in the process. So they are equipped to respond when jw's come to their door!! Am I a apostate??

JH keep up the one liners!!!

OCW

15

lonliness, doormats and making friends

by SpiceItUp in

jw
friends

had a conversation today about how when people leave the dubs, or make any other major life decisions, that you end up being lonely.

all your "friends that you used to have are no longer there and you have to start afresh.

i remember when i was younger, right when i quit the meetings, i would do anything just to make people like me.

oldcrowwoman

Thank you SpiceItUp. I appreciated what you had to say. I could probably say great many of us on this site. Have walked in the wilderness many times during our life time. I can speak for myself.

And experienced the lonliness and isolation. Having come from a dysfunctional family. Enter a dysfunctional marriage and Got myself sucked into a dysfunctional org. I did'nt learn any better. Not having the tools to recognize abuses .The thought was everybody lived this way. Total mind bender!!!

My reality was fairly narrow minded. And the dark place within myself was very painful feeling the isolation and the lonliness. Being that door mat and having lack of self esteem and self-worth.

I am grateful for having been pushed out of the org. Feeling like I just got out of prison. There's the whole wide world and feeling like this little speck in the scheme of things. Getting myself off alcohol. Many times sitting in the bar, and saying to myself there has to be more to life than this sitting here drinking day after day.

The gift in going into treatment and having many teachers helped me to walk through the wilderness. To see their is more to life.

Huge part of my recovery was support from groups over the years. In helping me to deprogram from the org. It was 5 yrs after being out of the org. I could admit to myself and to say out loud that jw's are a cult. Boy denial works in wonderous ways. And we are giving only what we can handle.

Learning ways to be in relationships and to figure out what I want in a relationship , What is healthy and what is'nt. Learning the difference. Trust is a huge issue for me. Trust is not a given but earned. Its a on going process.

Today I can feel okay being alone. But when lonliness comes into play it usually has to do with some part of self that I am feeling uncomfortable. To search for that middle ground. I do know it is'nt about me being joined at the hip with someone . I can be with some one and still feel lonely. There's that empty hole in my gut. That needs filling.

My life is a onion constantly revealing layers of that onion. Some layers are less painful than others.

I am a introvert . As a introvert I push myself to be out there to test the waters. And takes me more energy to move out. I can say I am okay in being quiet and reserved. We all are individuals.

I am grateful to be here and the forum opens many doors to recovery . For me its a matter being open. Take what I want and leave the rest that does'nt fit for me.

Thank you. OCW

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