Posts by AlanB

40

Most Popular JW Jobs???

by Funchback in

what are some of the more popular jobs jws seem to flock to in your opinion?

personally, the latest trend in my area is school bus driver as well as school bus monitor.

i can think of six jws who drive school buses and two who are monitors.

AlanB

Yea, in the UK, window cleaning is the most popular.

9

Guess what my mom said to me now!

by Joysome in

first, let me give you some background.

i'm 24 years old 5'7" and i weigh 285. i'm a big girl!

so i am currently going through the process of having gastric bypass surgery.

In fact now I come tho think of it my dad used to do this while I was in as well. When I left school there were jobs he was against as it involved travel and in his opinion it would "take me out of the truth".

Same with University, friends outside, types of music, anything really.

If the "Truth" is so good, then why should anything take you away from it. Its a parents thing I suppose that they feel they have failed in all their children are not Pioneers or something.

9

Guess what my mom said to me now!

by Joysome in

first, let me give you some background.

i'm 24 years old 5'7" and i weigh 285. i'm a big girl!

so i am currently going through the process of having gastric bypass surgery.

AlanB

but the most important is that she's afraid that once I lose the weight I'll become more attractive to men and I'll meet someone and I won't come back to the "truth"!?!?!?

Ohhh My dad does that all the time. Whenever I talk about new things I am doing, things going well at work, developing relationships with girlfriends, his comment is always....

"Well you are getting yourself deeper into the 'world' and it will stop you coming back into the "truth"..."

I have to tell him that I do not believe it is the "Truth" and that I am not coming back and he should be glad life is going well.

I think a lot of witnesses have a real problem seeing ex witnesses doing well outside, they much prefer it if you ended up in some alley somewhere mainlining heroin then they can come rescue you or nod their heads at how evil the world is. I think there is latent envy somewhere along the line.

Your Mom should want you to meet someone good and have a normal healthy relationship.

Oh well, got to laugh..... A

23

Did Jesus or other bibical figures use marijuana?

by Leander in

jw
friends

i've heard on a couple of occasions that it was a frequent practice in bible times for people to use hemp oil.

has anyone else heard this take on the bible before?

is there a way to prove whether its true or not?

AlanB

I dont know about Cannabis, however there is that passage in Genesis where Jacob's wife (was is Rebekkah or Rachel?) purchases Mandrakes for her husband. Mandrakes are known Hallucinogens.

Oddly enough this occurs shortly before the incident where Jacob climbs a ladder into heaven and talks to God.

A

55

Microphone "Handling"

by SYN in

what is all the fuss about?

when i was still assimilated (i.e.

still in the borg, but wanting out every second of that time), there was so much emphasis put on microphone handling that it was almost unreal.

AlanB

This thread has brought back loads of memories. I used to do the Mic's from age 12-14 until the new

light that meant you had to be baptised, then again from about 18 until very shortly before my abrupt

dissapearance into exhile (another story)

Actually I quite liked the 'privilage', it was better than sitting staring into space. We has two isles in our

hall with a central block. If someone in the centre of the central block raised their hand. I used to have

races with the other handler to get there first.

The worst moments was when someone raised their hand, got asked to comment and you could not find

them. Our WT conductor was a total bastard and would just repeat that persons name, several times, as

if that would help, with me desparately scanning the ranks.

The downside was that you did have to stay awake, and wear a jecket and tie in the heat of the summer.

I did do the sound system for a while, which was good as I got a little box to sit in, which provided many

day dreaming opportunitites, the downside being that on a Thursday there may be a slight deviation to

the norm, as a speaker may invite unexpected comments and I would need to switch the roving mic's on,

which required some brain power set aside for monitoring the program. Eventually I mastered the art of

subliminal listening.

Nowadays I do some work as a sound engineer working with live bands. Dress code for sound

engineers in the music industry is totally the reverse, a sort of anti-sound servant. We played a wedding

once, and while the band wore tux's, it was perfectly acceptable for the sound engineer to turn up in the

greasiest jeans and ripped heavy metal tee shirt.

My warped imagination wonders what would happen if a tear in the space time continuum confused the

'Live Gig Engineer' with the 'Sound Servant / Mic Handler'..........

===

The engineer's rusting white van swings into the KH car park and reverses so that the back of the van faces the emergency exit to the left of the hall. The engine stutters to a halt. The drivers door opens and the air is drenched with the sound of Mottley Crue on volume 11. Den, the time continuum substituted sound servant jumps out of the cab. He is wearing a stained, black tee shirt with the words 'Fuck You' emblazoned across the front, and a one fingered salute on the back, black jeans, ageing trainers, he smells of nicotine and stale beer.

The service overseer walks over from his red saloon car, wearing a light blue polyester suit.

"I'm sorry brother, you cannot park there", he lovingly points out.
"Well bro (thinking the oversear was attempting to be cool), how do I get all the gear into venue, man". He responds.
"Well, make sure you move the van after you finished", concedes the service overseer, he considers showing the scripture about the faulty parapet, yet feels he has made his point.

Den starts unloading piles of black carpeted cabinets onto the side of the car park and carrying them into the hall. Soon there is an 8 foot stack of speakers on each side of the platform, cables are being ran down the side of the hall which plug into a pile of flight boxes stacked precariously to form an unstable tower. The back two rows of chairs has been moved to accomodate an industrial sized mixing desk.

Den lights a fag as he climbs onto the platform, fits a couple of mic's then shouts, 'One... Two... " a few times through the PA, wound up to almost feedback point.

The visiting speaker comes over, he is around 50, greying hair, slightly rotund, wearing a light grey polyester suit and light blue tie.

"Are you the sound servant?" brother Faithfull asks.
"'fraid so..." answers Den.
"I shall be using song number 28 for the Public Talk," explains the speaker.
"Oh yea, the backing track for the first number," translates Den, "do you need a click track or just go straight into it."
"Erm, no just play it as normal," explains the speaker.
"You gonna do a soundcheck?" asks Den.
"Erm, no we'll just play the song and I'll deliver the talk," replies the speaker.
"fair n'uff," responds Den.

All in all the Public Talk goes quite well. A little bit of feedback during the first song, as Den had rigged up overhead mic's in front of the audience to put them into the mix. One elderly sister had to sit in the back room for a while as her hearing aid was still ringing. Den settles down to the talk. He puts his feet up on a box of cables, reaches into his gig bag, brings out a can of Beer, there is a slight hissing sound as he pulls the ring, a stream of beer cascades down the side, Den carefully lets the excess beer run onto the kingdom hall carpet so as to avoid his jeans. Den gets out a bag of tobacco and a battered tin, makes a few minor adjustments to the level on the main mic and starts constructing a large joint.

The dance remix of the second song did not go down as badly as it might, the loud humming sound that built into a dense feedback as Den plugged his Strat into a large and stained amp set off the babies at the back of the hall and so the song became a war of decibels so that many of the elderly brothers and most of the body of elders did not notice the rap lyrics that Den decided would enhance the arrangement.

The watchtower study would probably have gone smoothly had it not been for the two microphone handlers. Den had given them a briefing before the start, referred to them as roadies and informed them that their prime duty was to eye up, chat up and get as many chicks phone numbers as possible. It had been suggested that if during the gig, one of the handlers wanted take a babe into the back of the van it was no problem as long as he put the keys back when they had finished. Seeing a good opportunity when he saw one, the older of the two privilaged microphone handlers who had been leading a double life for some time snuck out with the brunette sister he had been jumping.

Den furtively opened up the radio mic he had rigged up for such occaisions so he could get the action down onto minidisk, a prank he often played on new roadies. Unfortunatly a confusion over submixes later in the set (when the reader got up to read the next paragraph) caused a minor disruption until Den, Who was taking a leak at the time, could be tracked down and the problem resolved.

After the meeting the Secretary comes over to have a word with Den.

"I noticed a couple of small problems with the sound this morning," he broaches the subject.
"yea, man, we should have done a sound check before kick off, the feedback was a bit of a problem, always is with gaff's this size, it all bounces back off the wall" responds Den."
"Now I also notice you have not put in your report for this month," observes the Secretary.
"Yea, sorry man, been up to my eyes..." excuses Den sheepishly
"So can you honestly say you have not meantioned the good news at all this month?" suggests the secretary hopefully.
"Er, no man," replies Den.
"You have not mentioned God at all?" enquires the secretary hopefully, concerned at the forthcoming CO visit.
"Er, well there was last week," responds Den
"Yes, go on...." encourages the Secretary.
"I remember talking to Bazz from Hangover Gizzard, I said, God look at the tits on her,"
"I'll put you down for 15 minutes then," replies the Secretary happily.

16

Brits, hope you are all ok

by Satans little helper in

jw
friends

all, with the crappy weather this evening i hope you all made it home ok.

i've just crawled home along the m4 on sheet ice for 4 hours and made it eventually.

hope everyone else was as lucky as i was.

AlanB

I was in a business meeting just south of Stratford on Avon. In the two hours I was inside an inch of snow fell and then promptly froze. Took me ages to defrost the car.

To make matters worse, as I was stepping into the car I almost slipped and knowcked the wiper switch which dumped a pile of snow onto me.

A

47

Kids and meetings

by Stefanie in

i remember when they would discourage kids from taking colors or coloring books to the meetings.

so i thought ok, i will give my kid a pen and my book of bible stories to keep him busy.

then they said that was a bad idea because he might write on the furniture and it wasnt good to teach them to write on the wbt publications.

AlanB

Furthermore, the articles pointed out that arrangements for such separate classes were actually detracting from the house-to-house preaching of the good news. How so? Because the teachers were staying out of the field service to prepare for these classes and to conduct them. So, all separate classes for youths were discontinued.

That could have been so good..... What better way to spend time than preparing to teach young ones in a more effective manner. Many other religions have Sunday schools, summer camps and all sorts of activities that could make Christianity a joy.

I wonder how these policies may have affected the large number of younger ones that leave.

47

Kids and meetings

by Stefanie in

i remember when they would discourage kids from taking colors or coloring books to the meetings.

so i thought ok, i will give my kid a pen and my book of bible stories to keep him busy.

then they said that was a bad idea because he might write on the furniture and it wasnt good to teach them to write on the wbt publications.

AlanB

This buisness of treating babies like they are supposed to act like adults is messed up.

All it did with me was teach me to effectively switch off at meetings. Kids have a tremendous imagination and can slip into another dream world when bored. The amount of time I would actually listen to the program even as an adult was minimal.

Interesting though that I knew all the answers, which had subliminaly been drip fed into my mind. When I was having 'problems' an elder tried to 'help' me and we would go through various publications. I knew all the answers which stumped him a little.

Eventually I came to the conclusion that the 'answers' that I knew meant nothing to me, I remember the last time I attended a meeting was a circuit assembly, half way through the morning session I remember thinking "This means nothing to me". I slipped out at lunchtime, went into the town and bought a travel ticket and spent a few days packpacking around Europe to clear my head. Never went back.

A

51

Governing Buzzards - Part 3 - Does the WTS lie about being Exonerated?

by Amazing in

jw
friends

and likely rutherford and other top society officer must have known about this event ?

government motion in judges chambers:

this was fascinating, because while the society was allowed many motions, the government only made one motion ?

AlanB

Interesting stuff.. I always thought the carefull selection of obscure prophecy to fit mundane events was a little lame.

17

CNN Question

by Beans in

i was watching cnn when i was in mexico and they had a very interesting question to the viewers so i was wondering what your answer would be?.

since no weapons of mass destruction have not been found should blair and bush be tried in a world court for the actions and be held responsible for all the killing?.

beans.

AlanB

And anyway Saddam did use WMD on the Kurds -- so the question is irrelevant

As have members of NATO while other members were ordered to turn a blind eye.

Yerusalem........ !!!! I do not like making personal observations, however everything about your picture & posts suggests a particular type of American who is blindly patriotic, believes that the US has the right to do whatever they want and believes that somehow the US are better than anyone else. Here are some of your latest gems.

If it becomes clear that Russia and France were supplying weapons to Saddam until just weeks prior to the war

Where is the evidence for this? Total bollocks

THE US needs NO ONE's approval to defend itself...especially when three of those members are in violation of their own resolutions and selling arms and industrial equipment to Iraq.

Defend itself from what? What threat did Iraq pose to the US. Do not refer to 9/11 or Al Queda as there is NO link between Iraq and Al Queda other than the fact that both Bin Laden & Sadam Hussain were previously funded by the US.

and quite possibly a centrefuge (needed to make a NUKE)

Biggest load of paranoid crap....... (needed to make a NUKE)..... or to separate blood products into separate factions so that they could be transfused separatly into Jehovah's Witnesses <g>, or for medicine, or separation of oil products, laboratories, dyestuffs, soil samples, agriculture.... etc etc etc......

====

When is America going to wake up to the fact that 'they' are the biggest threat to world instability. Lowering their status in the world is what fuels the hatred that leads to attacks on US interests (not that I condone terrorism). We need to understand and build bridges between the west & Islamic countries rather than fuel hatred. Have America learned nothing from History.

A