You're right, cappytan it's a pattern and humans are creatures of habit.
If you make a new habit/pattern to come home from work and just do one small chore before even sitting down, it will become just as natural to you in time.
You've got to harness the human tendency to habitual behavior to your advantage.
For me, I throw in one load of laundry as soon as I come home. It's just like an extension of my work day.
And then you will come to understand why women don't feel their stress go away when the work day is over. Their stress levels are just as high because they are thinking of all the work that needs to be done at home. (the second shift)