Posts by Scout

My spouse and I used to help an invalid brother in a convelescent home. Once when we went to visit him, he was depressed. He told us that the reason he was so depressed was because we were the only ones from the hall visiting him.

We decided that at the next Thursday night meeting, we'd talk to all the "friends" and create a visitation schedule.

Everyone was quite supportive, except one jerk of an elder. He told us that he wouldn't visit the sick brother because he didn't want to "part of our clique". We were so shocked and when we mentioned his comment to another elder we felt close to, the other elder said "well, that's just his personality". To which I replied, "well I thought we were to put on the new personality" to which I was told not to talk negatively about an elder.

Can't win with that group.

59

For those without mothers

by Lady Lee in

jw
friends

mothers day can bring up many issues for some of us.

for some their mothers have passed away and the opportunity to say i love you in person is forever lost.. for others our mothers are lost to the borg.

in fact, we may never have had the opportunity to celebrate a mother's day with them.

Scout

What powerful posts. Thanks to all for sharing their stories - it really helps me in my healing process. You are amazing people - thank you for being so open and honest. Words cannot express how you've touched my heart.

This week I've been feeling sad - I think because everybody at work was discussing what they were doing for Mother's Day - and my mom (and dad) have chosen to be out of my life. Yes, the JW shunning thing. I'm not DA'd or DF'd - I've done the fade away - but being the strict unbalanced people they are, they are shunning me. I think last month was 4 years that we haven't seen or spoken to each other.

Most of the time, I know it is the best way. It is not a healthy relationship and I went through depression & suicidal thoughts until I went into 3 years of therapy to start the healing of the JW's & losing family & friends.

I'm not angry. It's just a sad thing. That some parents can only love their children with conditions and what's worse - teach their children that God only loves them with conditions! Yikes.

Whether you have your mom around or not, have a wonderful Sunday! I'll be thinking of you.

50

Do You Remember the Day of Your Baptism?

by minimus in

jw
friends

your baptism date is supposed to be the most important time of your life.

i was 9 years old when i took the plunge.

i remember my baptism, mostly because, i was baptized twice.

Scout

Summer of 1982 - Cleveland Ohio. I was 13. I really felt like I was doing the right thing. Three brothers were assigned to ask me the questions. The first two were very sweet and kind (grandfatherly types). The third brother got ill so my dad asked me the final set of questions. Boy was he tough! I wasn't allowed to use the book - he expected me to have everything totally memorized. I guess I "passed" though because I was allowed to get baptized.

I remember another young sister from a nearby congregation was getting baptized as well, so we sat by each other. During the questions, we were both shaky so we grabbed each others hand.

Even though I was a stick, my parents made me wear a tee shirt over my bathing suit. Please....

Memories. Glad I left it all behind.

37

I am sorry to report......

by Scooby in

jw
friends

sorry friends to report, my husband and i are divorcing.

he could not handle me saying i will never go back to the truth.

he is not ready to face all the crap from growing up a jw.

Scout

Hi Scooby,

I too have been thinking about you & your situation. I am sorry you have to feel the stress, pain, and all the other junk that comes about when families are torn apart because of the JW's.

I send you all my best thoughts and positive energy as you continue with lifes path.

Scout

3

Raised a JW....No Hope?

by Scooby in

thank you guys...all your posts are very much helping me to see where i need to get to personally in order to have any hope for my marriage.

i did not get the truth until i met hubby at 20 yrs old.

he grew up, fell away, and came back with me...(he witnessed to me).

Scout

HI Scooby,

Another thing you might mention to your husband is the March healing workshop with Steve Hassan (see the Free Minds website). Perhaps if he hears others talking about how they have survived post JW it would help him.

I can relate to your husband because I too was raised in the "truth". All their beliefs are ingrained in your mind - and until you can allow yourself to talk about them and realize that it won't bring "reproach upon Jehovah's name" - it will help you to get healthy and enjoy your life.

You are doing the smart thing - getting help for yourself and getting support from others.

Keep in touch & I think we may be in the same neck of the woods - so if you need a friend, give me a call.

Scout

28

help please

by Scooby in

i just wanted to see if anyone out there could help with my situation.

my husband and i are inactive witnesses very very recently.

we separated as we are both very unhappy with our lives.. my husband was raised a jw and has gotten flack his whole life by elders.

Scout

I am so sorry to hear about you & your husband going through this stress.

For me, I went through great depression leaving the WTS - feeling I wasn't good enough, that I would be destroyed, my friends & family wouldn't have anything to do with me, etc.

However, when I was contemplating suicide, I knew I needed help & I needed to get away from the organizaiton.

I too went into therapy (if you are in the LA area, I can refer you - She is GREAT). At first, I couldn't even talk about the "religion" - all those years of programming that you cannot bring reproach upon Jehovah's name. However, once I let my guard down, things started falling into place. My therapist was not that familiar with JW's. So she studied several of the books, so she could help me.

One day she said two SIMPLE things that blew me away - 1) God loves me unconditionally and 2) spirituality and religion are two different things that don't necissarily go hand in hand.

That is all it took. As a JW I never realized that. No I have been free for several years. Sure my family & friends aren't around - their religious not spiritual. However, I am healthier and happier without them and I have made a new family. One who really cares about me.

My spouse & I did some joint therapy as well. That may be an option for you two.

Be patient with each other, and love each other. It's been rough but you can do it.

Best wishes to you both. Scout

3

Young X-JWs in Cleveland, Ohio

by jesussaves in

hey everybody,.

i was just wondering if there are any young x-jws from cleveland, ohio that post on this website.

so many of my friends from the east side of cleveland no longer attend meetings, and i'd love to see them.

Scout

Hi Tiffany,

I grew up outside of Cleveland / Youngstown area. I can't remember what circuit I was in?? I am 34, have been away from Ohio for about 15 years, went to Pioneer school in '87ish, wondering if I know you or anyone else on the board??

Keep in touch - Scout

16

They Were Just Here,, Ugh!

by dawn27 in

jw
friends

sorry i just need to vent a little bit,, after i became inactive i moved away from my home congregation and town and things were really peaceful for a while.

i even thought that i might get to avoid the february/ march elder visits as nobody knows me in my new location.

yesterday, i saw two sisters coming to the door and i didn't answer to hopefully avoid a confrontation.

Scout

Hi Dawn,

Yes, I can sympathize with you. I am one who "faded away" several years ago. Even though I am not da'd or df'd - nor do I associate with or consider myself a JW - my family is shunning me.

The only one who keeps in touch is my sister-in-law. She phoned me recently to give me the "heads up". They (my family of origin) are sure that the only way I will return is if I am officially df'd or made to da myself. So, my brother has a plan to phone me - ask me "trick" questions - and either tape record me or have "two or three witnesses" listening on the other line.

What a bunch of crazy people! They are the epitome of evil. So much for true love and kindness.

This just proves even further to me that I made the right decision. They may be a religious bunch but they sure aren't showing any spirituality.

Since I have left the religion, and in turn my family of origin left me, I have been the healthiest and happiest I have ever been.

Dawn - I wish the same to you. May you continue to find your own path.

Scout