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  holiday angst

  by patches in

  1. jw
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  i grew up as a witness.&nbsp; forced into it actually by my mother.&nbsp; i was originally baptised catholic and spent a lot of time with my catholic grandma.&nbsp; i hated the whole jw thing.&nbsp; never accepted any of it.&nbsp; just went to every damn meeting with mom and abstained from any life affirming childhood experience because i was a well behaved kid.. <p>here's the problem:&nbsp; now that i am a grown-up, the holidays are a nightmare for me.&nbsp; i simply can not enjoy them.&nbsp; i have to approach them from an adult point of view but with a child-like longing for something i have missed.&nbsp; it doesn't help that i spend some of the holiday with my boyfriend's family where his parents still treat him like a child and shower him with expensive gifts.&nbsp; i give gifts as well but my need for them, both from an economical standpoint as well as an emotional one, is still great.&nbsp; i know it's not about the gifts but i feel that i have missed out on some shared cultural experience that leaves me feeling like only part of a person.&nbsp; it is hell on the self-esteem.&nbsp; this year, i am turning down the christmas morning at his house and will preserve my dignity at home with my 6 year old daughter.&nbsp; she will have the christmas experience as best as i can construct it.&nbsp; </p>.

  <p>now, for all of the current jw's out there, please hold your comments.&nbsp; i go to a nice presbyterian church now and am very happy to have all my spiritual needs met especially wrt to christmas.&nbsp; i would like to hear from the grown up children of jw's who also missed out.&nbsp; is this a normal feeling?&nbsp; how do you deal with it?&nbsp; </p>.

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