Posts by rocketman

28

help appreciated...any success or failures at truly conscious efforts to make new friends after a life in jwland? As a very social person i still only seem to have ex-dubs as my new friends...

by oompa in

jw
friends

as a jw...at least if you were social...you could walk into about any hall and find other social jw's you could become friends with...yes they are conditional...perhaps more so than other friends, but i did have some great friends there and i still miss them.

since my wake up....then departure....now df status....i realize that i have had only seven or so real friends and five were found here..... five are fairly local, one is far away, and one is an old high school friend i have reconnected with (lives a thousand miles away).....and i have met some nice people through these friends but they are more aquaintances than close friends.

the bar scene did not really get me anywhere with guys or girls...and i tried meetup.com but as of yet have not connected with anyone....so what worked for you?

rocketman

I know the feeling - 30 years as a jw, and I'm left with just one jw who still has anything to do with me (I'm not df'd, just inactive). When you leave, they treat you like dirt and we all know how that goes.

I have made friends with a couple of people at work. But even that takes a lot of effort. Most people at work are your friends by means of work only - once the whistle blows, so to speak, it's hard to carry those friendships over to after-work activities.

The whole process is not only difficult but also humbling. Making friends often means you have to initiate over and over again. I find that to be the case, and I sometimes wonder how many actual friends I'd have if I waited for others to initiate things. And even once you make friends, you will likely still be the one who often needs to initiate.

But as the saying goes, in order to have friends, you have to BE a friend. I try to keep that in mind and find myself repeating it often.

20

Is flirting just harmless fun ?

by caliber in

on some base level, flirting is not destructive.

in fact, it may be a perfectly natural and healthy way for two people to interact.

yet, as the level of involvement in flirting increases, the emotional stakes rise for the two involved parties and the uninvolved member of the relationship.

rocketman

I have no problem with some mild flirting. But I try not to flirt at all. I find all the reading-between-the-lines to be frustrating. I prefer a straightforward way of speaking with women. If I'm interested, I think she'll know it without me resorting to games. If I'm not interested, then I don't pretend that I am.

Of course, speaking isn't the only means of flirting. I may be flirting with my eyes or demeanor without even being aware of it. Also, some people seem to define virtually any light-hearted interaction between the sexes as flirting, an overly strict view with which I do not agree. In other words, if I don't know that I'm flirting, then I'm not flirting.

I also have several "rules" in my dealings with women:

Never refer to them as Honey, Sweetheart, Baby, etc. I used first name only, no such titles. If you're not my honey, I'm not calling you Honey.

Limit conversation about body parts.

Limit compliments.

When offering a compliment, do not use words like Amazing, Fantastic, etc. Use the word "nice", and that's about it.

22

Are intelligent people less likely to believe in God?

by Snoozy in

professor richard lynn says so.

in doing research he says :.

"the more intelligent people become the more decline you see in religious service.

rocketman

I think it could be based on various factors:

Greater intelligence will generally mean that a person will have better opportunities in life (assuming that the intelligence is at least partially the product of a better education). These opportunities will broaden a person's world-view and may also make them less inclined to depend upon a Higher Power and trust more in their own ability to create and sustain success.

A well-educated person generally may be more inclined to look at things from a more science-based perspective.

16

Stop and consider God

by StopTheTears in

jw
friends

is there really a god?

is there really a divine creator or did the universe around us just "evolve?

" what an incredible thought to even imagine that there could be a supernatural being so powerful as to create a universe.

rocketman

the illuminator 81 wrote: "The earth is such a fantastic place! It's so clear that there must be a God who designed this inviting, welcoming planet. I mean, who doesn't want to live on a thin wafer of rock on a giant hot ball of lava, where earthquakes and volcanic eruptions can happen at anytime. Yes the loving Jehovah provided us with a gigantic mass of water to drown in, should we ever feel the need. Most of the earth is covered in water, where we can't live at all, but at least we can swim in it! And who doesn't love swimming? And even if we don't want to drown, the multitude of cyclones, hurricanes and tsunami's can visit this exciting experience on us when we least expect it. We're so lucky with the large amounts of hostile territory where man can barely survive. I mean who doesn't want to camp out in the Sahara, or have a nice picknick on the north pole, or build a lovely little cabin somewhere in the himalayas?"

This is something that causes me to doubt the existence of a benevolent Creator too. The earth is not a very hospitable place to live. Look at the situation in the US South during April, or in Japan a couple months back. To me, the earth seems more likely to be a place where life arose and had to gut it out for survival, flourishing because of its ability to adapt, not because the planet was just sitting pretty and waiting to host it.

73

How I Know The Assembly Parts Are Made Up

by lovelylil in

jw
friends

we had a co looking for a certain experience for an assembly part coming up and the elders in my hall at the time sent him to see me, since i usually had good experiences out in field service.. anyway, after speaking with the co, i was sorry to inform him that i did not have an experience that suited the type he needed.

he told me that was o.k.

because he could use me anyway for another part.

rocketman

A fellow elder called me and asked me to be in an assembly part about people who took off from work to be in field service with the C.O. I told him that I hadn't done so in years and refused to be in the part. There was no way I was going to make it look like this was a regular occurance, and I wasn't about to travel to two additional circuit assemblies besides my own.

46

Do you find some famous "attractive" people unattractive?

by Iamallcool in

jw
friends

i do not find cindy crawford and julie roberts attractive.

it is just me.

dont throw rocks at me.

rocketman

I'm glad I'm not the only one who never found Julia Roberts attractive. Another one that does nothing for me is Gisele Bundchen, the so-called "Supermodel", who sissified...oops, I mean married, Tom Brady. Sorry, not so super.

Women who aren't great but somehow attract me include Gwyneth Paltrow (depending on what she wears), Jennifer Love-Hewitt (just a very pretty face), and, in her younger days on Friends, Jennifer Aniston - although I should add that the women on that show were average-looking at best so it wasn't hard to stand out.

94

Church is in session: NHL Playoffs

by unshackled in

jw
friends

nhl playoffs start tonight.

get your beer chilled and the wings in the oven.

the next two months or so is my church - the grueling battle for the stanley cup.

rocketman

Tampa Bay is getting hot at the right time...

68

June 15th WT - WT Society Pressures JW Parents to Indoctrinate Children

by flipper in

jw
friends

in a non-study article in the jw only watchtower is an article titled " should youths get baptized ?

" the wt society is losing young people in very large numbers - so how else to try stemming the exodus than putting pressure on jw parents to indoctrinate and instill mind control into their children ?

in one section here in this article it almost sounds like a version of " 20 questions " that the wt society asks parents to determine if their children are making " spiritual progress " as they phrase it.

rocketman

So many of the generation of my child's age (mid-20s) have left the jws. Nearly all of that age from the congregation we associated with have left. The WTS is obviously desperatly trying to hold on to younger people by convincing parents to do the WTS's work of manipulation and intimidation in getting these kids baptized. It's a shame. But in any case, baptized or not, the next young generation will be making its exodus too.

22

What if EVERTHING you believe to be true.....is a LIE?

by Terry in

what if everything you thought was true turned out to be a lie?.

what if some of the most important "facts" turned out to be false?.

does seeing your strongly held convictions shattered, refuted, disproved hold out liberation for you or a sense of doom and embarassment?.

rocketman

My "truth" is this: I go where the evidence takes me. If that means I have to change my thinking on something, then so be it. But I got to this notion only after leaving the jws and realizing that so many things that I thought were true turned out not to be so. It's a tough step that many here have also taken, as you state Terry. It's not easy.

So now, I try not to hold on to any 'belief' too tightly. Evidence may come to my attention that will compel me to change my thinking.

114

Anyone here have any experience with the "super-natural"?

by Knowsnothing in

and if so, would that prove an existence of evil-spirits (demons)?.

i have heard of a couple of stories of possession, or of jw's talking to spiritists and the spiritists having seen 2 men following the jw, either dressed all in black, or all in white, and very strong looking.

yet, i have never experienced any of it.. another experience that i heard is about a brother whose mom had super-natural strength, and tossed something really heavy.

rocketman

I read The Ghost In The Machine paper, which was enlightening and backs up my personal feeling that, like UFOs, many "supernatural" occurances can be explained and attributed to very natural phenomenon.