Posts by moreisbetter

48

New Here

by Stefanie in

jw
friends

im new here.

there is alot of stuff to read.

its gonna take forever to catch up.

moreisbetter

Welcome Stefanie! I can only agree with the other comments; this is a great place to be & I'm certain you'll like it!! I'm in Fort Worth myself. Theresa

18

What do you do...?

by Brummie in

jw
friends

what do you do when you see jw family or jws who were once good friends on the street?

do you look at them and give them the opportunity to snub you?

or do you take the initative to cross the road and look the other way before they do it?

Oh, cute sweet kitty face!!! Its good to hear from you again, but not like this. Is there any one way to deal with this? No probably not. Personally, my method is "if I don't exist, they don't exist". Are those "friends" measuring up to my standards? NO They are not worthy of whatever I have to offer. Getting to that point has taken time & has been a challenge.

You have a very beautiful family. The persons snubbing them are by no means deserving an acknowledgment from your family. They are trying to get to you through them. They are not worthy, for they are the crimminals.

you were very kind & friendly when I 1st came here. Please take care. My very best to you & yours.

18

alcoholics/non-alcoholics and AA

by IronGland in

jw
friends

i realise this question is off-topic for this forum but i believe this forum moved away from it's original intent long ago, and is now just a social place to talk to others with a similar background.

i've got a friend who has recently begun going to aa meetings.

she tells me that an 'alcoholics' body breaks down alcohol differently from a non-alcoholic and the difference in metabolism is what differentiates between an alcoholic and non-alcoholic.

moreisbetter

Dear IronGland,

I for one appreciate you bringing up this topic. The subject has become very interesting to me over the past year.

Edited by - moreisbetter on 6 January 2003 20:11:8

Edited by - moreisbetter on 6 January 2003 22:9:19

20

Who Could You Trust in the Congregation

by JH in

jw
friends

.

were there some people in your congregation that you could say anything to them, and you were sure they wouldn't stool to the elders?

how many people in your congregation could you really trust?

moreisbetter

None. Period. Even those I didn't really have a relationship with, proved to be untrustworthy because they betrayed the loving ideals of the JWs. NO, NO, WAIT, Correction!!!!, They proved the "loving" image of the JW Org, was a hoax, a lie, a farce.

The next test is my family & ex. I love them & I know they love me in their own way althougth they I have a pretty good idea of my postion.. But what if I'm DF or DA, which I think is close. How will they treat me then? Not much trust there either. Sad, very, very, sad. The only person I trust is myself. Somedays, I not so sure about her either!

Oh well!!! Take care everyone

more

29

My grandma died

by asortafairytale in

jw
friends

yesterday morning.

she had a heart attack when she was at dialysis.

thank god, she was already at the hospital.

moreisbetter

so very, very sorry to hear of your loss. my thoughts will be with you and your family. take care

11

Do elders take their job too seriously?

by JH in

jw
friends

do you know any organization that are as serious as jehovah witnesses.

rarely will you see an elder smile.

when they want to talk to you, it's always on a serious note.

moreisbetter

"Did you enjoy the company of elders?" A very thought provoking question. And thinking about it is what I have been doing

here goes:

To start, there are a lot of elders that I know that I hate. Period. Currently there are now a lot of elders that I don't know that I despise because how they are taking care of their flock (in denial, kowtowing, hypocrisy & more) . But I don't want to be a person that hates; anything! It requires a lot of time & energy, & since I'm beginning my journey into the 2nd half of my life, I don't want to spend what time I have left on hate (some things in life should be though). I have to work this stuff out & move on. Anywhay,

So, to answer the question in a positive light, I would like to tell about what i enjoyed about 4 elders. They have & will always have a seat of honor in my heart.

One is a current elder; he is a lifelong family friend & I always regarded him as an uncle. He has his faults (his wife is a total, hypocrtical, gossiping, living in denial, arrogant bitch- ok, not his fault). He always enjoyed his beer way too much. With one exception, he always treated me & my family with love. He officiated at my grandmother's memorial service a year ago & even though he knew of my current feelings & position, he not only acknowledged me but approached me in love to give me a hug. No more, no less. I pushed him away because I was still angry after 12 yrs. I wished i hadn't done that. A hug is a hug. He has always shown me love. Whether he is right or wrong about his beliefs, that's his choice & his right. Regarding his position as an elder, I still don't agree with his beliefs, but still respect him for his faith in those beliefs. All I know is that he always showed a non-judgmental love to me & my family. He has a special place in my heart. I really, really hope that memory is never destroyed by something like the recent cover-ups & others.

The 2nd was a blood relative uncle. He was my paternal great uncle who lived in IL. IMO hHe was just an all around neat guy! I never heard him condemn or judge a person, howver he had his opinions about their actions based on his JW beliefs. He wasn't arrogant or power hungry (ok, i may be biased here & don't know everything) At the age of 14, I gave into the pressure that it was time for me to be baptized. However, according to JW regs, an elder that knew me was to study & review the "questions" with me in preparation & approve my baptism. Well, I had already made plans to visit uncle & aunt that summer. We approached my cong elders & asked if it was acceptable that uncle go over the questions. After a few letter exchanges between congs, everything was approved & if elder uncle was staisfied, i could be approved for baptism. I travelled from TX to IL to spend 4 summer weeks with uncle, aunt & cousins. Uncle went over the baptismal questions in a manner that was peaceful, nonjudgemental & very loving for me. He truly beleived in all of it. Uncle & aunt made the study sessions into events; one time was a picnic breakfast at a local lake. I never took it to be a detraction from the study, but provided a relaxed ,loving atmosphere for me to contempleate the seriousnes of the situation; the commitment I was making. They were making it an Event! Ya know, upon reflection, it was a good thing. To this day, I do not believe anther elder would have cared as much about my baptism. Hell, not even one g**d*** person from my cong witnessed my baptism. Not even my local TX family. ANyway Due to KH politics, Uncle was asked to step down as an elder & gave in. He never served in a position again. He still held onto his faith and died an active witness in 1994. Uncle, in my opinion, separated the stupidity of some of the local power member/brokers/elder morons from what he truley beleived was the truth. right or wrong. Aunt past over in 78. I miss them both. Although quite old, Uncle liked to travel, and did so; making long car trips visiting nieces & nephews in many states. Uncle visited me 4 times in those years, even after he knew of my "sin" and my position. He came anyway & always treated me with love. Uncle believed in the religion he chose, the religion of Jehovah' Witnesses; he died committed to it. But he also knew right from wrong. He still believed in treaing people with love. I truly believe if Uncle was alive today and faced with current facts regarding the WTBS, he would still beleive in a Jehovah, but would be screaming his bloody head off about the JW practices of today and to them. He believed in christian love as he understood it & believed it. I just can't fault him for that. At uncle'e funeral, 1st Corinthians 13:4-8 was printed on the announcements. There are many, many christian scriptures one may find appropriate to live by, but i like this one.

The 3rd was an elder in my new cong that I met right after my marriage. I was very young, alienated, weak & defensive. Many, many, MANY times I was defensive & bitchy. He was the the only one who did not counsel me on this but rather came up to me and said "whats wrong? how can I help YOU?" All the others either critisized or thought I was crazy & dismissed me as a weak, crazy, sister/publisher/human thing. He was the only one that asked, "tell me whats going on? how can i help? I'm ashamed to say I don't think I told him how much I appreciated that gesture! It has been over 26 yrs, but I can clearly remember where I was in the KH when he approached me & asked that. But what convinced me that he was sincere was thhe fact he was that kind of shepherd to everyone. That was many years ago. He passed over way, way to young due to cancer. I miss him. I felt he loved not just because he was a JW, but becaue he was human. No one can convince me he didn't.

Ok, the 4th, & the last. And if your still here, i appreciate it your indulgence. The 4th is my ex husband; a MS when we married & later elder. did I enjoy his company? yeah, I did. At the risk of being considered biased, I always thought he was humble, sincere with a great deal of integrity for what was right, not just what the WTS said what right but was logicaly supposed to be right. He cared for & looked after with compassion many in the cong especially older ones; He was a very talented speaker who always made sure it was not his agenda that was delivered in that talk, but the msg that WTS wanted delivered (pls, no comments here; right or wrong in the msg, I respect a guy's right to their belief); he was nevrer, ever an arrogant, greedy, power hungry, abusive MoFoSOB elder. Whatever confd. cong matters were going on, whatever juicy JCs were taking place, I didn't know about them because he didn't tell. He was one of a few elders in our area that didn't tell thier wives anything. He is by no means a saint. He had/has LOTS of faults. He DF as an elder, then reinstated, but he has never been the same (that is another story) He is currently inactive. For many reasons I can't adequately explain and perhaps shouldn't have brought up, I very much admire & respect him. But one reason I will share. He's a damn fine dad (still with faults lol) But Damn Fine! I'm so very lucky, and grateful, & very appreciative that we have worked extremly well together as separated, divorced parents the last 10 yrs raising our 4 kids. He loves.

I'm sorry for the long post, but that question just struck a nerve. a sensitive one. All of the above mentioned elder persons I love because I think of them as humans first, then elders way down on the list . To be fair there are a few other elder persons I do know that are ok, but I didn't mention.

Please excuse me for what I'm about to say but: To all the rest of you current elders that I know AND don't know but, who are cold, sadistic, paranoid, power hungry, just plain sick perverts, protect the image of your life sucking regardless of who it hurts org slime: Go to bloody F***** H***. I know you don't believe in one, but one can easily be provided for you.

Once again sorry folks, got carried away.

Edited by - moreisbetter on 5 January 2003 1:8:1

18

Were your JW parents spirtually weak or strong?

by moreisbetter in

i was a 3rd generation witness on both sides of the family.

even my great-grandomthers were considered witnesses, but i don't know if they were baptized.

my parents however were always considered weak and still are even though my mom has become more involved & for longer periods of time in the last 15 yrs.

moreisbetter

I was a 3rd generation witness on both sides of the family. Even my great-grandomthers were considered witnesses, but I don't know if they were baptized. My parents however were always considered weak and still are even though my mom has become more involved & for longer periods of time in the last 15 yrs. The older my sister & i became & we moved out of Dallas, it seemed we became more inactive. I'm sitting here now trying to remember a time when my dad went out in field service, or the last time I heard of him going out.. At this moment, I can remember only one time I ever went in service with my mom. Rarely did we have home bible studies. Or prepare for the watchtower study together. And we were always being critisized and judged because of it. Oh, we did attend a lot meetings, never missed an assembly, convention or memorial, always assisted in KH builds and were included in many cong social functions. but from a very early age i was told that just because mom & dad weren't doing anything, did not excuse me from studying, FS & everything else. I never really, truly felt accepted in the cong; I didn't fit in there and because of being a JW, sure as hell didn't fit in at school. When I married, my feelings of alienation became progressively worse, (yes, I know I contributed greatly in it). It then became full blown when my ex was DF 13 yrs ago. I also feel what I call "doctrinally" illiterate. Having spent 30+ yrs as a witness, it bothers me to say I just don't have the JW education I think I should have. But please don''t get me wrong, as an adult I could have changed that, but didn't. i accept that.

Ok, please bear with me as I try to get to the point of this topic: I've been reading many experiences of those who were JW raised in a very strict, active JW enviroment, either by both parents or just one. Dads were elders, moms pioneers & so forth. But so far, I haven't come across experiences from folks raised in a similar environment as mine. How did you feel? What kind of an influence did growing up that way have on you? Regardless of why you left, do you wish you were either all "out" or all "in"? How do you feel today?

I appreciate all responses & am grateful for those that share their thoughts & feelings.

much love, theresa

3

Dallas Rockers - Tonight!

by COMF in

jw
friends

if you want to find out whether my band is any good or whether it's all just talk, come out to lone star country club tonight (friday, january 3d).

we're rockin' the joint from 9 to 1. cover is $5.00.. sorry about the short notice... intended to get this up earlier, but it's been a hectic day.. 1849 belt line (2 miles west of i-35).

coppell, texas.

moreisbetter

I would loved to have gone. Please keep us informed of future bookings. You guys play until 1:00? Well, who knows, I might make it.

have fun & take care!

38

I am new here - sharing my story

by YellowLab in

i am new here and this is my very first post.

i've been following the message threads over the past few months and decided it was time to register.

(i couldn't decide on a unique username or else i would have done it sooner!).

moreisbetter

Welcome! Thank you for sharing your story. It wasn't long at all! It also sounds like you have a wonderful wife. Look forward to hearing more about you.

17

The Grand Drama (another neurotic post)

by DanTheMan in

jw
friends

ok, y'all know i'm a head case, and this is one of my typical head-case posts, so you've been warned.

i'm sure the bethel monitors love my neurotic posts.

("see what happens when they leave?").

moreisbetter

One question to ask yourself. "What do I really want?" "Really, truely want?" Only you know the answer, and yeah, you do know it.

You asked:

"My question to all of you in ex-joho-land is, how have you learned to cope with the randomness and uncertainty of life? How do you cope with the fact that you are going to die?" the sun rises, the sun sets; we are born & we die. I believe those things are the only certainties in this universe. Everything else in life that occurs has the posibiltiy to be changed. Or prevented. I don't think I fear death, not because I want it, but the thought of everlasting life was by far more frightning due to boredom! I've learned to substitute the word difficulty with challenge; uncertainty with adventure and many others. I'm not perfect at it, but I keep pracitcing & it really helps.... I have control over my life and accept the responsibilites of it as well.

"And that on balance none of our lives mean very much?" Well, there i have to disagree. I now believe my life means something; how much is up to me & the definition of those whose lives I affect. I believe that of most all humans Have you ever stopped to think where the ripple effect of a random act of kindess you initiated will end? For example, you started this thread, which has and will receive excellent, beneficial responses; which may enable the voice of one reader or an epiphany to another. That in turn, will cause a change in that person which will have an affect on all those around them which in turn.....you get the picture. Well doesn't that mean something?

"How do you learn to feel good about yourself and your life in spite of all? I can't seem to find the way". That may seem like the case at this moment and can be very overwhelming. Well, take a deep breath, then another and relax. Are there at least 5 things you can think of that your good at? you have strength in? 3 things? 1 thing? Yes you do. Remember a time when you loved, or gave or felt gratitude. Relive this experience in your mind this way, see what you saw, hear what you heard & feel what you felt. Is it a good memory? Keep remembering everyday.

"Sorry if my posts are negative and depressing. But I need to get this stuff out, it just builds and builds to where I start thinking about suicide" I will speak for my self in that I don't need an apology for your post. Its my understanding that one aspect of this board is a support group. Therefore there are many here that are happy to offer supoort. So, then get it out; all out. We will listen and help where we can.

my $.02 Love & take care. Theresa