I left the religion in my late 30’s, and even I feel totally ripped off. So I totally understand, even more so, how you feel.
My grandfather was baptised in the late 1940’s and was promised paradise. He is now dead and so are some of his kids, I look back on the 73 years he spent on the hamster wheel, and am grateful I didn’t make the same mistake.
In the time he’s been dead I hardly recognise the religion s anymore. I remember his fleshly brother, who is my great uncle, and a self righteous elder. Telling me to take some posters down I had hanging in my room of bands I liked as a young kid. He too is now dead. I recently went around to visit his widowed wife. Low and behold she had a poster hanging on her fridge of pictures of the governing body. All I gotta say it’s just a total load of shit.