Coggy:
I guess what I am asking is this, how much of our true self, our true nature, is really just the conditioned physical process of neurons firing in response to stimulation, including the ability to ask this question? We want our lives, ours selves to have greater meaning, greater purpose, greater levels of consciousness, other planes of consciousness, but perhaps the truth of the matter is that we are just a big tube, with three openings and we put dead plants and animals in one end and expel compost from the other. Perhaps all our senses and awareness are only to aid in this purpose and survive. When our senses deteriorate, our ability to consume and expel deteriorates until we finally die. Perhaps all the artificial constructs/beliefs of our minds are just further machinations to aid in our organisms survival. Including the belief in life after death. Our organisms drive to survive is so great that it will even imagine non-existant planes of existence where its conscious awareness will survive death in some way and then spend inordiante amounts of time trying to bring that plane into existence at all costs (ie, religiously motivated wars that kill all who do not share the vision/goal for survival). Wouldn't it be the ultimate irony if our biological organisms drive to survive, is what eventually causes us all to become extinct?
There is a very important and compelling ache behind your questions. Isn't what you are asking, simply : "What am I; really; really; really?" I suggest taking the agony of your earnest and sincere desire to want to know -- within. I have experienced that it is just this hunger that is the vehicle that carries us to undeniable realization of what we seek.
j